Don’t you ever say Jason Kelce doesn’t wash his ass:

I guess this debate started from an innocuous tweet over the weekend that said Jason Kelce looks like a guy who doesn’t wash his legs or feet. Which is hilarious because Jason Kelce looks exactly like a guy who doesn’t wash his legs or feet.

Jason confirmed that himself:

And he’s been been on the record with this in the past:


@Travis Kelce #JasonKelce #nfl @New Heights #podcast #fyp

♬ original sound – Celebrity Network Worldwide 🌐

And I agree with him. Anyone who goes past their shins during a normal shower is an insane person. No dude has time or the flexibility to get to the ankles and in between your toes. What am I going to do, sit on the tub floor in my own filth and scrub between each little piggy? No. The water from the shower makes me clean as a whistle. Grab the hot spots. Over time we’ve evolved from apes who used to run around the dirty jungle. You think we’re going to be immunocompromised by some gunk that might’ve gotten in between our toes? Absolutely not. Get under the arms, the balls, and clean the ass and you’re basically the cleanest guy in the world until you walk outside for five seconds and you have swamp ass again. Come to think of it I don’t think I’ve ever actually washed my belly button either. Add that to the list of body parts you don’t have to worry about.

This might be past the reader/writer threshold in the relationship we’ve built over time, but I never got on the washcloth train. I remember one of my black friends growing up thinking we were some sort of neanderthals because none of our white friends used wash cloths to clean our cracks. You think racism and politics divide this country? Start a washcloth conversation between black and white people at your next pre-game. You might not be friends after it. Come to think of it, that’s what might’ve divided the Eagles locker room last year after the 10-1 start.