Anytime Nick Castellanos gets on a mic it’s must-listen stuff. Like him walking around London Thursday, when he went to their markets and saw schoolchildren in their Hogwarts uniforms:


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Castellanos is definitely a Gryffindor. Courage, chivalry, and determination. Courage to become an above-average right fielder. Determination to hit any slider two feet off the plate. Chivalry when he taught Johan Rojas how to be a slut by loosening up the buttons on his jersey. He’s definitely a Gryffindor. Honestly, the entire team might all be Gryffindors. You have your occasional Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws like Zack Wheeler, Aaron Nola, and Kyle Schwarber. No Slytherins though. That’s like some Scott Rolen and Jonathan Papelbon shit. No room for Slytherins on this team.

What was going on by the way with that one dude next to Castey that entire time? Why did he look like he had to shit or was just confused?

Just sit back and relax and enjoy it. This is Castey’s interview now.

“I like to see how normal people live on the daily” might be the most rich guy thing I’ve ever heard. He just wanted to go study how normal people react to the effects that inflation has on their grocery bill. He’s Jane Goodall and the Londoners are his apes. Do you think Castey understands he’s not in a third world country? I gotta imagine living in Miami where the sun is up for the entire year and your surrounded by skyscrapers going to desolate and gray London might be a bit of a culture shock.