Joey Chestnut polished off 57 hot dogs on a military base in El Paso, TX on the Fourth of July in only five minutes. The Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Champ* yesterday needed 10 minutes to eat 58. If it wasn’t already known it is now. Joey Chestnut is the greatest competitive eater of all time. The 2024 Nathan’s competition will forever have an asterisk next to Patrick Bertoletti’s name:

Did Nathan’s royally fuck up or what? Did a little sponsorship dispute rob us of witnessing a world record? How does the competition ever recover from this? ESPN tried to polish a turd like we couldn’t see right through the bullshit. The ratings had to be dog shit. There was no mention of Joey Chestnut or the fact that this wasn’t actually the best of the best. Not one mention that Bertoletti’s 58 dogs wouldn’t beat Chestnut’s 63 from last year.

Nope. ESPN just went business as usual and threw up a post with some faux-excitement like what we just saw wasn’t actually a champ, but a chump. If I’m Chicago I’d disavow this title:

Listen if you want to be the man you have to beat the man. Bertoletti was going up against cheese in a can enthusiasts from the Poconos and a guy whose top-3 enjoyments in life didn’t even include hot dogs:

You think if Bryce Harper was asked what he enjoys in life baseball wouldn’t make the top-3? Of course it would.

How dare they raise this man’s hand like he’s a hero. He competed against a bunch of nobodies. This is like those two titles the Rockets won in the 90s while Michael Jordan was playing baseball:

You can watch the greatness from Joey Chestnut start at 38:00