Go Birds:

Full disclosure, Craig and I were supposed to be in Brazil this year until we a ran into a conflict. Let me say this. You don’t need Big Dom to tell you Brazil isn’t the safest place. I remember reading about it when we were still going and the first thing they said was don’t carry anything expensive or draw attention to yourself. My entire brand is drawing attention to myself. Add in the camera and the fact that I’m tall and I’m basically the #1 contender of being robbed. I had a Golden Wonka ticket to getting mugged. I’ve never been more happy to be in Delco. At one point we were looking into armed security AND a translator like I’m a fucking U.S. ambassador. Where is the NFL sending these guys?

Now mix in the hundreds of the hoagie mouths we’re sending down there. They don’t speak a lick of English in Brazil and they definitely don’t speak Delco. Aunt Mare isn’t going to have a Splenda for her iced tea and she’s going to cause an international incident. She’s gonna have to say four Hail Marys and five Our Fathers in front of the Christ the Redeemer Statue just to be let back into the country.

Later on, DeVonta Smith was asked about playing in Brazil and he went with “no comment” –

These guys seem excited to fly almost 20 hours round trip for a football game in another country in a stadium where the fans despise green. Chances Eliot Shorr-Parks gets kidnapped for wearing the wrong soccer jersey? -150. Hope they like training camp stats and scorching hot takes in the favela. Good luck tweeting Spike your coordinates because Brazil is threatening to ban Twitter. Imagine all the Eagles beats not being able to tweet about a player going into the blue medical tent at the same time.


I’m not worried about the Eagles. They’re going to have 53 Big Doms, one for each player, surrounding them at all times. If anyone is going to have a Ryan Lochte moment it’s going to be this guy from the Packers who was thinking about big booty Latinas back in May: