They’re saying this guy locking up Paul George just got off his shift at the iPhone factory. That Temu Paul George and the Sixers are already cooked. Not me. They are:

I promised myself long ago I wouldn’t overreact to a Sixers player’s summer highlights. They can’t hurt me anymore. Thank you, Ben Simmons. I’m going to focus on the fact a Sixers player went to China and didn’t cause an international incident that turned the franchise upside down. Call it optimism. Call it growth. Call it whatever you want. Knicks fans want to throw dirt on our grave before the season has already started? Go ahead. Enjoy Thibs running the boys into the ground after they all played the longest season of their careers.

Only immature dolts would react to a video in 360p with zero context instead of this 8k masterpiece I just found to support my argument that PG is going to lead the Sixers to the promised land. Here’s PG telling a kid he’s too small and there was nothing he could do to stop him, like his first name was Tibet:

Maybe PG’s throwing this Chinese dude a bone so he can get paid on his next deal. All this dude’s agent has to do is send his team this video clip of the Great Wall, give himself a nickname like “The PG Stopper” a la Ruben Patterson, and get PAID. Simple as that. I’d rather focus on the fact that James Harden looks like he snuck a couple orders of dumplings into his takeout order last night: