Let’s check in on Dallas:

This must be some 1960s Arkansas thing. Nobody eats raccoon and squirrel up here. Maybe in Pennsyltucky, but not in the Philadelphia region, or Yinzerville proper. Who does Jerry think he is, Davy fucking Crockett?

Do you think PETA will get ahold of these comments and protest outside of Jerry World? Just make sure their protests are facing north/south and not east/west, because the sun is bad down there. Speaking of which, Jerry has been on a great run lately. First he gave us an astronomy lesson after the star at the center of our galaxy blinded all three of Jalen Hurts, Cooper Rush, and CeeDee Lamb in the same game, resulting in an interception, fumble, and missed TD grab in the end zone. Then, he dropped this line about squirrels and raccoons. I hope Jerry Jones lives forever, as Liam Gallagher once famously sang.