Alright I’ll throw my hat in the ring on the drone situation in New Jersey and now PA where they’ve been reported. Lets take it back to the origin of the story. People in North Jersey complained about drones “the size of school buses” circling their homes at night:

Imagine settling down for the night, taking an edible, and you just happening to look out your window to see that. I’d think it was time to kick the dosage back.

The craziest part is no one has any answers. The Governor? Nope. Military? No idea. We know it’s not China because they can’t come up with anything more sophisticated than a balloon. But you’d think if Mars Attacks was happening at least the military had somewhat of an idea what was going on. Send up one of your billion-dollar airplanes and get this fucker.

Now I didn’t care much about the drones because they were in North Jersey. If they beamed some aliens down and took out a couple Mets and Giants fans who cares. The world would be a better place. But now they’re making their way into PA airspace and my antenna is up. Once you cross state lines we have a problem. Here they are in Delco, which would be the last place I’d send my expensive drone:

A couple theories? It’s someone’s dickhead neighbor flying some sophisticated drone they bought on Temu. Probably not. It’s Iran or another enemy! The Pentagon has already shot that theory down.


It’s sophisticated military technology that collects population and cell phone data! More likely according to Steve Janoski at the New York Post:

“My first guess is these are potentially government programs kept within what’s known as a ‘Special Access Program,’ which is purposely put together to keep even the most cleared people out — it truly is to keep it secret,” said Clint Emerson, a retired Navy SEAL and owner of security company Escape the Wolf.

“That’s why the government’s like, ‘We don’t know.’ They’re being truthful,” he said, adding that the circle could be as small as a dozen officials. “They don’t even know the program exists.”

Emerson said it’s impossible to know what the drones might be doing — but he suspects the secret is the technology they’re carrying, not the devices themselves.

“It could be different types of collection capabilities — so, different types of cameras, like high-definition, infrared or thermal,” he said.

A second payload, for instance, could be hardware that grabs all the cellphone data in a given environment.

New Jersey is the most densely populated state in the country so this would make sense.

So no big deal. The military is just collecting data without our consent. At least the websites that are tracking my data and selling it ask first before doing it. Are they recording our conversations? Probably not. I think the military would think twice before agreeing to listen to a bunch of hoagie mouths in Broomall yelling about the Birds with their cousin. Maybe they’re testing out the thermal and data technology before they send it overseas. If you’re scared get a dog…or your kid a Red Rider BB Gun for Christmas and go big game hunting.