I try not to wade into the Internet waters that I know nothing about. I do my best to stay in my lane and that’s 4 for 4 Philly sports, the Phillies’ war on cheap meat, and occasionally college football when James Franklin has another big game he’s ready to lose. But besides that I don’t like to get into the mud with other corners of cyberspace cause it invites the most insane people to argue under your initial tweet for the next week and shout about god knows what. Like when I took this beautiful picture of thousands of Eagles fans waiting 45 minutes to get on the subway after the game last night:

Is that a Norman Rockwell? No it’s an iPhone 13 Pro with terrible battery life.

That picture and caption are harmless right? Don’t tell that to urbanist Twitter. I’ve never been caught in the crosshairs of urbanist Twitter before and after this I don’t wish it on my worst enemy. You complain about SEPTA’s safety issues or inefficiency and someone will tell you you’re racist and you should just deal with it.  You think an argument over whether Jalen Hurts is good enough to win a Super Bowl gets toxic? I’ve got a fucking state reps jumping in my mentions chirping me:

How about this guy trying to big dog me AND ask for a solution in the same tweet. Isn’t that why people elected you? Like uhhhhhhh yea dude. I’d love for thousands of people to not have to stand out in the cold. I guess I’m some sort of barbarian for having that opinion. I’m probably just the only one though:

Now the thing about Benny boy here is yes I might’ve drifted into his area, but he also swam into mine and I don’t think he wants to get into the deep end with me. Benny boy is a big proponent of funding SEPTA. Great. Need a historically-mismanaged government organization to someday not be as historically mismanaged. It’s good to see people who care about SEPTA having the Gov’s ear who can help change that. But the thing about Benny boy is he’s way above his sails on this one.


He told on himself in a reply:

Yes the photo is outside the station because we’re stuck waiting to get in dummy! Are these the bird brains we’re electing in PA? Has this guy ever taken SEPTA to a Birds game? Has he ever taken SEPTA in his life?! Or was this just a planned photo op cause he’s on their payroll or something:

Probably got on at City Hall and jumped off at Walnut-Locust before going home and showering. Surprised his hand didn’t disintegrate when he touched that pole.

So here you go, Benny boy. Since you obviously don’t have any idea about what happens after an Eagles game I’ll break it down for you. SEPTA is now having people create a giant logjam that forces them to plow through these gates that may be five feet wide. Once you get there they corral you like sheep into a line using barricades and make you walk all the way around the entire station. You start on the other corner from this one in the pic:

Nothing terrible. The problem with Benny boy’s logic and the reason I know he has no idea what he’s talking about is because he mentions that inside the station has plenty of room where people wait for trains. Yea it does. The only problem is SEPTA workers are instructed by someone to stop the line every couple of people because I guess they don’t want over-crowding? For those that don’t know, looking at you Benny boy, this subway stop is gigantic and they put the train cars at the other end of the tracks. They could get all of these people waiting in line out of the snow and warm. You know why? Because this is exactly what they used to do. Typically a brand like Miller Lite or UniBet recently would sponsor a full season and postseason of free subway rides for Eagles fans. This year there isn’t one. Why? If you ask Benny boy it’s probably the citizen’s fault I’d guess. Not the fact that SEPTA’s incompetence probably fucked that one up too.

Now they have these “controlled” stops, which would range about five minutes. Five minutes is nothing. But when the snow is dumping on you and you’re mom, wife, or kid are being pushed by drunk Eagles fans trying to get home you can hear some people getting a little testy – and this was after a win. When you finally get to the terminals to pay (which there aren’t enough of) half the people don’t know that it’s “tap to pay” now because SEPTA’s tech has always been behind the 8 ball of other major cities. While we were using tokens and swiping cards less than a decade ago places like NY and Chicago already had tap to pay running with zero problems.  So now lines are long, fans and workers are equally pissed off, everyone is shouting at each other, and it’s chaos after games. It almost makes driving to games worth it and everyone knows that is the 8th Level of Hell:

 

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How about instead of calling his constituents dopes we get Benny boy to go boots on the ground and live this so he’s not spouting off on the Internet talking about shit he knows nothing about.

P.S. One more for the road because these people piss me off. Fuck this dork and his Clean Air Council. Guy left early after Saquon scored again because he thought the Birds locked it up. “They do the best they can with what they got” should be the official slogan of SEPTA:

I’m going to go light my trash on fire out in the alley now.

P.P.S. The worst part are the people who walk down to the Oregon or Snyder station and then try to force themselves onto an already packed train. There’s a special place in hell for those people.