Bryce Harper just dropped another vanilla latte TikTok on vacation and even threw in a hashtag #BaristaBryce. This guy is basically a brand partner on a Tarte trip right now. He’s in his influencer era:

@3ryceharper

Blending in. #baristabryce

♬ original sound – Bryce Harper

This is now his fifth TikTok in as many days. He’s showing off the products he uses to make his lattes, doing a bag haul, and giving away his banana bread recipe. He’s a natural. Basically a tradwife except he can hit a baseball really really fucking far. This guy’s either posting a bunch of drafts he’s had tucked away before the app goes away or needs the offseason to end because he’s so bored.

But you can’t deny one thing and that is this guy gets views:

Time for brands to do the Phillies a solid and back up the BRINKS truck. Under Armour and  Gatorade are cute. Bryce is hankering for a raw milk and Bottega bag partnership. I mean look at that guy’s banana bread recipe and try to tell me Chiquita Bananas shouldn’t be knocking down his door with all of that CIA Guatemalan coup money! When he split the banana and put it on top of the bread I audibly gasped. What an advancement! I hope my mom was kicking herself when she saw this. All those years she made us banana bread she was cutting corners. The greats are great for a reason.

So now that Bryce is in his influencer era does that mean he still needs an extension? Last we heard, Scott Boras said he was still open to adding to his deal. Oh you don’t say? The rich want to get richer? Well, with a couple shekels here and a couple shekels there and his newfound TikTok fame, maybe the US extends the TikTok ban, Bryce joins the Creator Fund, Phillies fans keep watching his content and blow it up, and he gets paid. It’s a win-win. It’s how we don’t get strapped into paying a guy when he’s 45 years old $40+ million.


…this plan would’ve made a lot more sense if Dave Dombrowski decided to spend this offseason. Instead we’re walking it back with the same team and our best player looks like he hasn’t slept in weeks while making banana bread and vanilla lattes in his kitchen. This might be a cry for help.