Phillies

I Will be Smoking a Black and Mild a Day Until John Middleton Signs a Big Free Agent

By Kyle Pagan

Published: Mar 14th, 2022 · 1:01 PM EDT

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What are you willing to do for the Philadelphia Phillies? Me? Develop emphysema and fill my lungs with deadly chemicals:

https://twitter.com/KyleWooderboys/status/1503394984959033345?s=20&t=qNI4G3gP3BIYHnBwTtl1qw

I will continue to line the pockets of John Middleton and fund his son’s Hollywood dream of producing bad horror movie reboots until he follows up on his promise of “stupid money.” I don’t care if its Kris Bryant, Nick Castellanos, or Freddie Freeman. Just sign some big name so it at least looks like we’re trying to win. Is Kyle Schwarber enough to stop? Depends on the number really. All I know is we’re blowing O’s for Castellanos:

https://twitter.com/KyleWooderboys/status/1503396933506940928?s=20&t=jWXcxWZa89JlwWxD-AXkDg

I went with the Wine Tip B&M because it’s #highclass. I forgot how long it takes to smoke a B&M. My lungs are in the Phillies’ hands now:

Krispy Bryant https://t.co/Pk3B6D58xY pic.twitter.com/kKqfRaifXj

— Kyle (@KyleWooderboys) March 14, 2022

Also, I know John Middleton sold back in ’07 for billions. Who the fuck cares?

https://t.co/kYP2YcNi9n
Does not look like he’s owned the company in sometime.

— Robert (@robertbonasty) March 14, 2022