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Russia Plans on Whoring Its Women’s Hockey Players Out to Men’s Team
By Kyle Scott
Published:
Never let a good opportunity go to waste. Seize the day. Grab… the rich Russian hockey player by the horn and swing, wildly.
According to a report by our old friend Steve Whyno of the Canadian Press – whose outlet is the early winner in ridiculous Sochi stories – Russian Women’s Hockey coach Mikhail Cheknovoakokvovokcovokvockvookookvhokvokvhokov is encouraging – facilitating! – liaisons between his players and the men’s team, which is set to arrive in Sochi soon. Chekodkovovovhovhvokovovkov told the Canadian Press that “all of a sudden somebody might fall in love” if their are “evening walks” together are successful. And, you know, this:
Chekanov plans to talk to men’s coach Zinetula Bilyaletdinov about getting the teams together for off-ice activities. Russia’s men’s players from the KHL are set to arrive Saturday, while those from the NHL are expected to land Monday.
If Chekanov gets his wish, he thinks it would help everyone amid a pressure-packed tournament.
“The boys could talk to the girls and unload some of their emotional weight,” he told the news service.
Unload… some of their emotional weight. Somewhere, the father of a Russian women’s hockey player is sobbing in a corner.
Kyle Scott is the founder and editor of CrossingBroad.com. He has written for CBS Philly and Philly Voice, and been a panelist or contributor on NBC Sports Philly, FOX 29 and SNY TV, as well as a recurring guest on 97.5 The Fanatic, 94 WIP, 106.7 The Fan and other stations. He has more than 10 years experience running digital media properties and in online advertising and marketing.