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Between Bryce Harper’s Blood Treatment and Zack Wheeler Storing his Rib in a Closet, the Phillies are Up to Some Real Voodoo Shit Lately
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Zack Wheeler spoke to the Phillies beats down in Clearwooder:
What’s Wheeler gonna do with the bone? Bring it out during parties? Donate it to the sports museum they’re trying to build in South Philly? Save it for a Satanic black magic ritual?
First it was Bryce Harper doing some sort of vampiric blood filtration treatment and now we’ve got Wheeler out here reprising Denzel Washington in the 1999 film The Bone Collector. There’s some wacky voodoo shit going on with this team! What’s next, Kyle Schwarber putting himself on the Elizabeth Bathory fitness and nutrition plan?
Why is the rib in the closet anyway? Does the bone need preserving, or can it just be stored in Tupperware? And how does this conversation typically go? Does the doctor say, “hey, would you like to keep your rib, or should I get rid of it?” Where does the rib go if the patient declines to retain it? So many questions!
Undeniably, this is pretty metal. You’ve got to be hardcore to have one of your own bones just laying around the house. People are doing the Marilyn Manson joke, that story about how he reportedly removed a rib bone in order to uh, “please himself,” but Manson denied that years ago and it’s just an urban legend. So no more Manson tweets, please and thank you.
Either way, it’s a great story. A nice bit of trivia. Wheeler is gonna go out there at age 35 and mow down a bunch of fools and he’s gonna do it with one fewer rib than he had last year. We’re out here struggling with head colds and this guy is gonna be throwing Major League heaters 7 months after being shut down for the season with venous thoracic outlet syndrome.
Exclusive look at the Phillies walking out on opening day:
Kevin has been writing about Philadelphia sports since 2009. He spent seven years in the CBS 3 sports department and started with the Union during the team's 2010 inaugural season. He went to the academic powerhouses of Boyertown High School and West Virginia University. email - k.kinkead@sportradar.com