Phillies

Corny Washington Television Anchors Bash Bryce Harper Piñata

By Kevin Kinkead

Published: Apr 2nd, 2019 · 11:40 AM EDT

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Washington D.C.

Our nation’s capital.

A city filled with vile and disgusting career politicians, a morass of partisan losers that really do not care one iota about their constituents. They look at you and I with contempt, and answer only to lobbyists and other bloodsuckers and carcass-eaters that circle overhead before descending for feedings like the opportunistic vampires and/or vultures they are.

Washington is also the home of news anchors who put Bryce Harper’s face on a pinata and swing away:

What we think of #Bryce leaving for division rival #Phillies #GoodDayDC @TuckerFox5 pic.twitter.com/CNANxcizf9

— Wisdom Martin (@Wisdommartintv) April 2, 2019

Look, FOX 5 Washington, I’m gonna level with you, after the jump:

Bryce Harper had a choice.

He could have remained in your stinking shit pile of a city, surrounded by some of the biggest fakes this country has to offer.

Or –

He could have come to a hard-working, blue-collar, lunch pail-carrying type of town, the home of the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall and cheese sandwiches.

Bryce Harper made the correct decision.