Phillies

Phillies Pitchers Eat Pizza, Ball Out Against Chefs

By Russ Joy

Published: May 3rd, 2019 · 4:25 PM EDT

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The Phillies had a rare night off Thursday -because the MLB season is sixty games too long- and a few hurlers took full advantage by getting some pizza and balling out against the chefs who prepared their meal.

Adam Morgan, Aaron Nola, Jake Arrieta, and Zach Eflin gave the thrill of a lifetime to Heartside’s chef/owner Dominic Piperno and sous chef Dylan Sambalino.

My first thought: Adam Morgan is a Kimmo Timonen doppelgänger if I’ve ever seen one.

Second thought: I sure hope Aaron Nola, a brand ambassador for America’s Oldest Brewery, isn’t holding a PBR.

Third thought: Jake Arrieta needs a stylist. My guy looks like he wandered out from a day spent replacing the blade on his John Deere riding mower.

Fourth thought: Eflin probably caught the most eyes from the ladies.

I’m imagining the game went like this: Arrieta channeled his inner Minnesota Jimmy Butler and took Piperno and Morgan. Sambalino tried to defend Eflin in the post, while Arrieta spent the first ten minutes of the game yelling “JAKE THE SNAKE” every time he deflected a pass from Nola. Based on the sweat accumulation on Eflin’s shirt and Arrieta’s expression, I believe congratulations are in order for Team Nola.

How do you feel about the boys of summer playing pickup against Collingswood’s finest? Is the sous chef a better shooter than Ben Simmons? Are these Phillies really a bunch of Philly guys if they’re eating in Jersey? Phone lines are open for the first time today…