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Matt Klentak Does his Best Pat Gillick Impression… and it’s the Right Move

Coggin Toboggan - August 1, 2018

If you wanted the Phillies to offer every single prospect in their farm system to acquire Bryce Harper or Manny Machado for the stretch run, guess what? You’re a moron.

Matt Klentak did the exact right thing for this Phillies team in the last two weeks. Make a few minor moves, hope to catch lightning in a bottle with one of them, and set your eyes on the future because the chances of making a deep playoff run this year are slim to none.

I like this team, they’re fun to watch at times (mostly when Aaron Nola is pitching), but every inning-killing error, every befuddling base running error, every lead the patchwork bullpen can’t hold kills my soul. They play worse defense than a little league team, their biggest free agent acquisition is hitting .211 on August 1, and they routinely have to throw Tommy “Hungry Man Dinner” Hunter out of the pen because they literally have nobody else.

Klentak knows this isn’t the year to pounce. Like Reuben Frank at an Eagles training camp buffet, you don’t waste your time on the cheap coffee and donuts in the morning, you wait until they put out the Rita’s Water Ice in the afternoon and you make your move. You play it smart. They stood pat. They didn’t panic and fall into the quagmire of a highly talented, yet likely rental player, and acquired a few key bats for next to nothing that could pay off for the stretch run.

It’s the Pat Gillick model, and it won them a championship in 2008. Not saying the Phillies are going to win the World Series this year, but it puts them in a better position to win next year….and in 2020….and for years down the road because they didn’t do something stupid.

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LeBron James is 100% Signing with Philadelphia/Utah/Cleveland/Los Angeles/Oklahoma City

Coggin Toboggan - June 28, 2018

NBA free agency doesn’t start until Sunday, but goddamn is the LeBron James rumor mill churning along at a fevered pace. One minute he’s spotted touring private schools on the Main Line for his kids, the next he’s filming commercials that 100% confirm he’s signing with the Lakers.

What can you believe? WHO can you believe? The rumors are everywhere, they’re nonstop, and most are so steeped in bullshit it makes Mike Missanelli want to scream at his producer all over again.

Let’s face it, in all likelihood he’ll probably just sign with the Lakers, along with Kawhi Leonard and Paul George, they’ll lose in seven games to the Warriors in the Western Conference championship, and the Warriors will sweep the DeMar DeRozan led 76ers to cap off their three-peat.

But what’s the fun in that? We can all hope against hope that he goes somewhere else, can’t we? Besides, there are SO MANY juicy rumors swirling around the ether that at least one has to have some credence, correct? We need to do a deep dive into the gritty, all-encompassing LeBron rumors floating around social media, namely Twitter, to see if we can decipher what’s out there to believe, and what’s out there that just may not be true in the slightest.

Let’s go LeBron rumor hunting and see what we can find.

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Great Hustle, Great Effort Amir Johnson

Coggin Toboggan - June 26, 2018

In what will surely be a personal highlight of his professional career, 76ers forward Amir Johnson took home the coveted 2017-2018 NBA Hustle Award last night, diving across the floor to scoop up the loose award before it could clatter into the hands of another nominee.

Yes, I can assure you, the NBA did give a “hustle” award during last evening’s riveting NBA award show, which also featured such highlights as Ben Simmons winning the ROY, James Harden winning MVP, and Bill Russell flipping off Charles Barkley (and anyone who wasted time watching this atrocity) for some reason:

The NBA keeps measurable “hustle stats” during the season, taking into account pass deflections, charges taken, diving on the floor for loose balls, and setting screens that lead to direct baskets, among other “gritty” statistics.

Patrick Beverly, who won the inaugural award a year ago, may or may not have worn a shirt with Amir’s likeness and the words “no hustle” scribbled across the top of it.

Johnson edged out Pacers forward and ex-76ers Thaddeus Young to take home the award.

According to NBA.com, this is how the hustle scores were calculated:

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Blake Griffin on the Bryan Colangelo Burner Account Controversy: ‘It’s Just the Lamest Thing Ever’

Coggin Toboggan - June 19, 2018

First you had LeBron James mocking the Bryan Colangelo burner account apocalypse in front of a national audience before Game 2 of the NBA Finals, and now Blake Griffin, part-time dater of Kendall Jenner and part-time power forward for the Detroit Pistons, is clowning the ex-76ers GM.

Good thing the NBA made the Sixers fire Sam Hinkie and bring in Colangelo so they could avoid future embarrassment. Phew.

Griffin appeared on Monday’s episode of the Pardon My Take podcast and a discussion on potentially humiliating internet searches segued into PMT co-hosts Big Cat and PFT asking Griffin to give his opinion on Colangelo’s penchant for dabbling in social media and his love of big collars.

The transcript and audio are after the jump:

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Whatever it Takes, Dude (I have no Firearm)

Coggin Toboggan - June 13, 2018

The Linden Police Department released two pieces of body-cam footage today from the arrest of Lenny Dykstra on May 23 after an Uber driver pulled into the Linden Police headquarters and told officers Dykstra had threatened him with a gun.

According to a story from NBC Sports Philadelphia, the Uber driver pulled into the Linden police headquarters at 3:30 a.m. on May 23, alerting officers by honking his horn several times and fleeing the vehicle that contained Dykstra. The driver claimed Dykstra pulled a gun on him and threatened to shoot him after he changed his destination.

Dykstra told officers that the driver “kidnapped him” and wouldn’t let him out of his car.

Officers questioned Dykstra and released the footage of his arrest. It’s….it’s definitely something. What a fucking mess. Still, I would have rather seen him at the 1993 Phillies celebration this past weekend instead of Curt Schilling.

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Woj Bomb Alert Issued for Philadelphia as Brett Brown Reportedly Agrees to 3-year Extension

Coggin Toboggan - May 29, 2018

Big news for all the Brett Brown lovers and haters in the city of Philadelphia, as Adrian Wojnarowski of ESPN reported minutes ago that the 76ers head coach has agreed to a three-year contract extension:

The extension will keep him in Philadelphia through the 2021-2022 season:

Brown steered the 76ers to a 52-30 regular season record and the team’s first playoff series win since 2012.

Kevin Kinkead will have more on the extension and what it means for the franchise tomorrow.

From Youtube to the Philadelphia Phillies

Coggin Toboggan - May 23, 2018

“Last night I almost hit Herrera,” Shawn Senior, 46, the newest member of the Phillies organization told me less than 24-hours after making his debut as the team’s new left-handed batting practice pitcher.

Beaning Odubel Herrera in the bowels of Citizens Bank Park the first day of your newest position would not be the best way to start your career with a major league franchise.

“The ball clipped the L-Screen as I was throwing past it, It was going towards him and it actually went behind him. I would hope I won’t hit anyone, but I’m sure if I throw enough one or two will fly. I’m sure I won’t be the first or the last person to do it,” he said.

And so went Senior’s debut at the big league level, albeit a different one he likely dreamed of when he graduated from Cherry Hill West in 1990 and N.C. State in 1993 as a star pitcher.

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Phillies Select Fan from Cherry Hill as Batting Practice Pitcher

Coggin Toboggan - May 22, 2018

At the start of the season, the Phillies put out an interesting call on their social media platforms, asking for YouTube-submitted applications from left-handed fans who were interested in tossing batting practice during home games this season.

The Phillies found their man and he’s starting his job tonight, according to Bonnie Clark, vice president of communications with the team.

Shawn Senior, a resident of Cherry Hill, will toss left-handed batting practice before tonight’s game against the Atlanta Braves and will be on hand this season to throw before every home game.

The Phillies had over 400 applicants for the position and narrowed it down to seven finalists, Clark confirmed, before selecting Senior.

Senior has professional baseball experience, as he was drafted by the Boston Red Sox in 1993 and played for four seasons in their minor league system.

Over four seasons he won 38 games, lost 33, and had a 3.99 ERA, according to The Baseball Cube.

You can buy his minor league card for $1 on Amazon as we speak.