Figuratively.

I don’t actually want to take my balled up right fist and insert it squarely into Cowherd’s neck and see his head pop up and eyes bulge out, like one of those children’s toys where you squeeze the center and the ends enlarge, while his fairly attractive co-host, Kristine Leahy, looks on in bemusement and perhaps a touch of envy as she learns what that blog life is all about. I haven’t even thought about it.

I know this is what Cowherd does– sling shit at towns like Philly that are sure to respond. I’m playing right into his hand. I’m gifting him my testicular fortitude, an entire handful, and allowing him to play. That’s fine. This is a win-win for me, too, so let’s perpetuate this symbiotic relationship between asshole and blogger. Continue Reading

PANIC? WHO’S PANICKING? THERE’S NO NEED TO FUCKING PANIC!

No really, there’s not.

That was the Heat’s best shot. The Sixers aren’t going to shoot 19% from three again. Dwyane Wade only has one more of those games in him. Joel Embiid will return.

The Heat, good defensively all season, took it to the Sixers by pressing Ben Simmons, getting their hands into every inch of personal space, and hitting countless run-stopping big shots. It was smart, what they did– slowing down the Sixers and frustrating them to no end. Sure, it posed some risks, like you could see here in this video posted by Kevin earlier:

This strategy backfires if Redick is able to hitting a diving Simmons there. But the Heat were banking on the Sixers not being prepared for that sort of intensity and making hasty decisions or forcing shots, which is exactly what they did. Marry that with a solid team shooting performance by the Heat and Dwyane Wade being the OG on the court, and you have a hard-fought Heat road win.

I mean, Wade isn’t repeating this shooting performance again:

His incredible effort aside, that is just flat-out bad basketball in 2018. Long, contested two-point jumpers are not winning many series, specifically ones where a team is out-gunned at most positions on the floor. It was an honor to watch Wade hitting turn-around jumpers, but the Sixers will take this plan of attack ten times out of ten. They’ll settle down and being able to better handle the Heat pressure. They’ll hit a more respectable number of threes. And Wade won’t shoot 11-of-16 from the floor again.

And despite all of that, the Sixers had it to two with four minutes remaining before yet another impressive play from Wade.

Oh yeah, and Joel Embiid will be back.

Get one.

There’s a notion that he’ll slow them down when he returns. There’s something to that, for sure, but we saw last night why he’s so important. Never mind his ability to get easy baskets during long cold spells like we saw in the second quarter, his presence alone spaces the floor and opens up more for Simmons and, therefore, shooters. The Sixers can’t, and won’t, rely on Marco Belinelli workshopping his Leaning Tower of Pisa on every shot (for real, he’s horizontal on every release). He’ll get better looks, and so will Redick and Saric, and Simmons, who won’t take them. The point is, that was the best the Heat had to offer last night– it’s probably not repeatable, and certainly not sustainable, and the Sixers will get their best player back. Nothing to worry about.

Notes:

The playoff hot dog is outstanding. The chili hits you first, followed by the delightful taste of salty meat, which is cradled with the crunch of bacon, all caressed by a fresh pretzel roll (fresher than I was expecting, to be honest). The only thing they could improve it is by adding a bit more salty flavor to the cheese– I feel like that would really tie the thing together. But this is very good and highly recommended. It rivals the South Philly Dog at Citizens Bank Park, and you know how I feel about the SPB. Score: 8 out of 10.

You can get the playoff dog at sections 104, 110, 122 and 212 during Flyers and Sixers playoff games.

Here is my beautiful thumb holding The Moment speciality cocktail. This was less impressive, but still good. It wasn’t too sweet. Cranberry juice, fresh lime and blueberries conspire with a muted vodka to deliver a refreshing, if hardly potent, playoff concoction. I’d give it one fucked up thumb up.

I continue to love the Wendy’s promotion. It’s perfect.

Take a good look at this chart from AccuScore, which simulates thousands of games to determine these odds, and then we’ll discuss on the other side:

Hey there. Welcome to the other side. Make it over OK? Good. Because I want to frolic with you in the erogenous zone that is the Sixers having the BEST CHANCE IN THE EAST to win the NBA Championship.

One little wrinkle, however. Check that first round percentage. It’s lower than any of the top six teams except the Warriors, who are playing without Steph Curry in the first round. The Heat actually aren’t a great matchup for the Sixers, as they’re patient and defend well– exactly the sort of team that can give an inexperienced team fits in the playoffs. Still, I think we wind up looking back on the series and laughing at the notion that the Heat ever really had a shot.

No one thought we would be here. Sure, this was always going to be the season where the Sixers turned the page, but even the most hardened process zealous didn’t predict 53 wins and a three seed, let alone arguably being the best team in the East. And certainly no one would’ve even posited that had you told them Embiid would miss the last 10 games of the regular season and Markelle Fultz would play sparingly and miss most of the season with a shoulder injury related to his forgetting how to shoot. Give Sam Hinkie credit, yes, but do give some to Bryan Colangelo, who has rounded out this roster near-brilliantly.

We’ve covered the Sixers’ chances in this series and in the playoffs in general. Kevin wrote about their Vegas odds to win it all yesterday, but I’m here to add some context. Continue Reading

The other day I tweeted about the Sixers’ badass playoff logo hoodie they sent me, and a bunch of people asked where they could get it. That particular shirt does not appear to be available anywhere, but official partner store Fanatics does have playoff logo t-shirts available, presumably for a limited time, right here.

That’s an affiliate link, so if you use it you’ll also be supporting the site.

Fanatics also has Villanova National Championship apparel, which, you know, seems like it probably sells itself.

I’m hungover.

That’s what happens when your live podcast slash Flyers game watch turns into a celebration of sport (Flyers notwithstanding) as the Sixers dismantle Mallory Edens’ team and the Phillies walk it off in FUN fashion as you sip Bulleit bourbon and muddled fruit drinks all night.*

*Bulleit is about as run-of-the-mill bourbon as you can get, but it makes a fine sipper on the rocks or with a mixer, even if it doesn’t compare to the Elijah Craig barrel picks and Jefferson’s that frequent my Glencairns.

Anyway, imagine shaking that off and waking up to a headline that the Knicks (LOL!) are targeting Jay Wright. Bleh.

Jay’s not going anywhere, certainly not to the Knicks.

This article gets written every year, with a struggling NBA team leaking Jay’s handsome name to the media to get some attention and throw a feeler his way. That’s not to be confused with the annual column version that’s written by some old hardened media type who knows of no other motivating force in coaching than money. Bob Ford already wrote that one for 2018, when he laughably, and fully baselessly, speculated that Jay could leave for the NBA or, even more ludicrously, another university. Yeah, Jay Wright has turned Villanova into the premier team in college basketball and has built a program in his likeness, one which has enabled him to construct a practice facility and renovate the home arena, but he’s going to jet to a better school, like the ones he trounces every year in the tournament. Good take, Bob. Continue Reading