Phillies

Maybe Kyle Schwarber Ate a Bad Primanti Bros Sandwich in the ‘Burgh

By Kevin Kinkead

Published: May 20th, 2026 · 1:19 PM EDT

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An explanation for what’s going on with Kyle Schwarber, who has now missed three games:

Kyle Schwarber is dealing with a “stomach issue,” per Don Mattingly. The Phillies feel like he’s moving in the right direction and it’s possible he’ll be available to pinch hit today. @OnPattison

— Tim Kelly (@TimKellySports) May 20, 2026

Uhh… okay. Most stomach issues do not last three days. Appaently it was a “cold” yesterday. Maybe he got food poisoning in Pittsburgh after eating a stale Primanti Bros sandwich. Or he accidentally drank from one of the three rivers. Maybe a disgusting Yinzer spiked his drink as retaliation for the Flyers eliminating the Penguins from the playoffs.

Schwarbs had been on fire before he was ruled out Monday. He’s batting .239 in May but slugging .672 with a .982 OPS. He continues to lead Major League Baseball with 20 home runs. Munetaka Murakami is second with 17 and Aaron Judge and Ben Rice have 16 dingers apiece.