Posts for 76ers

Let’s All Be Thankful, Philadelphia

Coggin Toboggan - November 27, 2019

Happy Thanksgiving, Philadelphia! Whether you’re celebrating with your family tomorrow or jealously peering through the windows of your neighbor’s home as you eat an expired, freezer-burned turkey Hot Pocket, I’d like to wish you all a wonderful holiday from the bottom of my cold, dead heart.

This holiday is all about important traditions. The food, the family, your mom having to clean up the green bean casserole thrown against the wall by your dad during an argument with that one uncle you all hoped wouldn’t make it but showed up late reeking of cheap gin – these are all crucial elements to any successful Thanksgiving.

But, it’s easy to forget that Thanksgiving is the one time of year we should take stock of our lives and realize what we’re truly thankful for. I feel that we often forget to be thankful for the blessings that have been bestowed upon Philadelphia, our lives, and our sports teams.

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Pretend To Be a Member of the Cultural Elite and Bid on Fantastic 76ers Artwork

Coggin Toboggan - November 20, 2019

The Sixers wrapped up their Crossover art exhibition at the Fitler Club in Philadelphia last night with a VIP event to showcase more than 200 pieces of artwork created by more than 100 talented artists from across the world. But you, yes YOU can still get your grubby, oily, low-class mitts on a piece of high society by bidding on any of the pieces of artwork featured at the event.

Drag yourself away from the rest of the polloi in this city and spend a few dollars on anything other than corn nuts and/or pornography for once in your life.

The Sixers launched a silent auction through the team app where you can bid on any of the artwork. There’s never been a better time to replace the Scarface poster on your wall with something that won’t be a complete embarrassment to you and your guests.

We’ll showcase a few of our favorite pieces after the jump.

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Marc Zumoff Is As Mad As You Are

Chris Jastrzembski - May 12, 2019

If you don’t know by now, Kawhi Leonard just killed the Sixers’ season with an unreal buzzer-beater that sent Joel Embiid into the locker room crying.

From the NBC Sports Philadelphia studios. Marc Zumoff, just like all of us:

Pretty sure most of us had the same reaction across the Delaware Valley. His “Nooooooo!” sounds exactly like his “Yes!” calls but on the opposite end of the emotional spectrum. Sad. Dark. Negative. Painful.

Markelle Fultz and Orlando Will be a Perfect Match

Coggin Toboggan - February 15, 2019

An old Chinese riddle has puzzled philosophers and seekers of truth for decades.

“If the first overall pick of the NBA draft takes a parting shot at the city and the coach that supported him for two angst-filled years, does anyone care?”

All apologies to Danny Watkins, but the biggest draft bust in Philadelphia history just couldn’t help himself. Markelle Fultz couldn’t resist taking one last passive aggressive shot at the coaching staff, fans, and city that cheered every awkward attempted three pointer, every herky jerky free throw, and every head-scratching excuse for an ever-devolving jump shot the cherubic cheeked failure could throw at us.

At least this time he said it to reporters instead of posting it on social media like a 16-year-old girl who was just dumped by her boyfriend before the big Spring Fling Dance.

You really can’t trust NO ONE !! How could he have done this to me?!” We get it, Emma, enough already.

Talking to the assembled Orlando Magic media for the first time since being traded for a case of floor wax and Jonathon Simmons, Fultz decided it would be the perfect opportunity to toss a molotov cocktail at the franchise that went to exorbitant lengths to protect him and his delicate psyche at every turn.

During his introductory press conference, Fultz pontificated on what excited him about the change of scenery from Philadelphia and what would enable him to be a better player for Orlando:

“It just excites me to know that I have a coach that’s going to push you to be better and not just going to tell you what you want to hear,” Fultz said.

Oh, so that’s what Fultz needed….he just needed some tough love to reach the dizzying heights of a so far wasted professional career. He wasn’t held back by a mysterious pseudo-injury, or the yips, or a domineering mother, or his inability to ride a BMX bike…no no no, it was the yes men in Philadelphia that didn’t challenge him enough who held him back from truly being great.

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Let’s Improve Ourselves in 2019, Philadelphia

Coggin Toboggan - January 4, 2019

Ahhh it’s a New Year in Philadelphia. The sky is brighter. The people are friendlier. The puke stench from New Year’s Eve is finally dissipating from the 8th and Market PATCO stop, but the urine funk is still holding strong. It’s 2019. It’s a new year with new horizons and new opportunities to better ourselves and our city.

This is the year, Philadelphia. Can you feel it? This is the year we pull ourselves up from this stink hole and really make a difference. I’m not saying this city isn’t already great, or its denizens pitch perfect, but we can all stand to improve and better our lives for the benefit of us and the loved ones we hold so dear.

Even the best of us can improve. Take the venerable John Middleton, for instance. Maybe this year he can resolve to stop saying stupid shit before the opening of free agency that gets everyone’s hopes up for the signing of Bryce Harper and Manny Machado, while it becomes increasingly obvious that neither of them want to play here. Maybe don’t show your hand before the chips are pushed into the pot, John? And hell, maybe have the doors ready and open to Citizens Bank Park when your #1 target actually deems you worthy of a visit and not leave him and his pissed off wife outside in the cold to be accosted by South Philly electricians, right? What do I know, I’m just spit balling here.

Or hey, even Carson Wentz should have a resolution. He has room for improvement, right? Maybe in 2019 he can resolve to stop getting hurt and force us into this never ending quagmire of a discussion on whether he or Nick Foles is the future of the Eagles franchise. I’ve fucking had it. Carson, either get healthy and take this city by the balls or stay hurt and let Foles and his massive genitalia lead us to the promised land. Mother of God.

But it’s time to look at ourselves in this city, starting first at this site. What can we do better, as people and as fans? What are our resolutions for a better 2019 at Crossing Broad?

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“I Only Do it Because of the Spacing that We Have” – On Joel Embiid and Three-Point Shooting

Kevin Kinkead - December 27, 2018

Does Joel Embiid enjoy shooting three-pointers?

Or would he rather be in the post?

It seems like the answer changes depending on when you ask him, but it’s a hot topic considering Joel’s recent comments about his deployment on the Sixers’ perimeter and his fit in the offensive scheme.

For what it’s worth, Embiid shot four threes in the Boston loss, but in the two games prior he didn’t try a single attempt from deep, instead going a combined 20 for 37 from the floor and 11 of 13 from the foul line for 51 points in wins against the Knicks and Raptors.

After the Toronto game, Joel was asked about his decision to work closer to the rim and avoid the arc:

“I don’t like shooting threes. I only do it because of the spacing that we have and sometimes I have to take them. I have to be on the perimeter just getting guys open because of all the attention that sometimes it seems is presented to me. I don’t like shooting threes. I only do it because I got to make it work, but the last couple games, mainly the last two games, my mindset has been, if I’m on the perimeter it doesn’t mean that I have to shoot threes. Even if I’m wide open I think I had a couple of opportunities (against the Raptors) and game against the Knicks where I could’ve shot it, but I took one dribble and I took a midway shot. That’s what I’m comfortable with and it’s working. I feel like my efficiency is getting back to where it should be. Part of the problem that I see with myself is, I should never shoot under fifty percent and I do it a lot, so it’s all about getting my efficiency back and I feel like shooting threes had a lot to do with me shooting under fifty percent.”

Interesting answer, and probably what most people would like to hear from a dominant seven-foot center. That mid-range stuff is less efficient than shooting from three, but if Embiid is hitting at a higher clip inside the arc, then it makes more sense for him to work that part of the floor.

Still, that quote seems like a change in outlook for a guy who has, in the past, seemingly relished shooting from distance, a guy who has twice attempted seven threes this season and once said that he sees himself as a complete player who can do anything on the court. 

That was the theme of a follow-up question Saturday night from former NBCSP reporter Dei Lynam, after the jump:

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Right Now the Chasm Between Jayson Tatum and Markelle Fultz is a Deep and Dark One

Coggin Toboggan - October 17, 2018

I caught myself doing a slight fist-pump three minutes into the second quarter of the 76ers game as Markelle Fultz nailed a 14-foot jump shot for his first points of the year. I found myself saying out-loud in an empty room that his shot “didn’t look THAT bad.”

It didn’t look that bad?

I’m happy that the 2017 NBA draft #1 overall pick’s 14-foot jump shot didn’t look THAT bad?

There would be no more fist pumps after that moment. Just depression. And frustration.

Three minutes into the second quarter Fultz notched his first points of the game after taking only three shots. Until that point he was largely invisible, just a nondescript player bringing the ball up the court, immediately looking to give it up to either Ben Simmons or Joel Embiid, and then almost hoping to disappear into the comfortable area beyond the three-point line where he could observe the action undisturbed.

By the time Fultz made his first not-as-quite-herky-jerky-but-still-slowly-developing jump shot, Jayson Tatum already had 12 points and was making his impact felt on both ends of the court.

Tatum poured in another 11 points to pace the Celtics in their decisive season-opening victory over the Sixers. Fultz would spend almost the entire second half on the bench drinking Gatorade.

The chasm between the two players has never been deeper, darker, or more evident than it was last night. If you fell into the black abyss and screamed out “trust the process,” it would echo back 10-times over before you finally hit the hard, cold ground.

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A Local Reporter Claims To Have Purchased Bryan Colangelo’s Unclaimed, Initialed Dress Shirts

Chris Jastrzembski - July 10, 2018

An interesting Twitter thread from Julian Coltre, a New Jersey based reporter. He may or may not own some of Bryan Colangelo’s possible dress shirts before he got canned.

Here’s his white-collar story:

I wonder the exact amount he got, but we’ll continue. Continue Reading

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