Posts for boston

You’re Forced to Cheer for a Boston Sports Team; Which One do you Choose?

Kevin Kinkead - May 28, 2019


Another Boston team is playing for a championship. The fucking Bruins have won eight straight playoff games and are now up 1-0 in the Stanley Cup finals after scoring three unanswered goals to erase a 2-0 deficit and take game one over the St. Louis Blues.

Not sure about you, but I’m a lifelong Blues fan. Lifelong beginning this past weekend, because I’ll cheer for anybody playing against a Boston team. I might buy my daughter a Vladimir Tarasenko onesie and I’ll wear a matching Jay Bouwmeester sweater ahead of game two.

But I had a weird thought last night, and I’m not sure why. Could be masochism. I threw up what I thought was a rather challenging Twitter poll:

If you HAD to pick a Boston team to cheer for, who would you pick?

As of 10:14 this morning, the results currently show:

Hmm.. the Red Sox? I guess that does make sense, considering that they’re an American League team. The Patriots are disgusting and loathsome cheaters. The Celtics are a rival and knocked the Sixers out of playoffs last year, so I understand both of those teams are pulling just 10%.

The Bruins are second, at 31%, which I also don’t think is surprising. I guess they’re not as revolting as the Pats and Celtics, even though Brad Marchand is a dirty little weasel. Can’t trust him.

Not surprisingly, a number of Philly fans would choose death over cheering for Boston, after the jump:

Continue Reading

Continue Reading

Some Bro Stabbbed a Guy in the Last Row at the Boston Garden Last Night

Jim Adair - March 12, 2015

You know what, Philadelphia can be called the land where they threw snowballs at Santa. It’s lazy, old, and stupid, but feel free to keep dropping that reference, as long as you remind people that Boston is where people get stabbed at Celtics games.

At last night’s C’s game at the Garden, a fight erupted in the very last row of the arena between a bro in a backwards hat and a Rondo jersey and a bro in a sweatshirt and a Rondo t-shirt. Cursing, middle fingers, people screaming and filming, oh and a dude getting stabbed by a switchblade. Typical Boston.

And yes, I know it’s called the TD Garden now, but that’s a dumb name.

via Barstool Boston

Boston Sucks

Kyle Scott - May 15, 2014

Future Flyers ambassador Danny Briere, Photo credit: Greg M. Cooper-USA TODAY Sports

Future Flyers ambassador Danny Briere, Photo credit: Greg M. Cooper-USA TODAY Sports

The Penguins on Tuesday? The Bruins on Wednesday?! Do it again, hockey league! Do it again!

I can’t tell you how happy I am that the Bruins lost and we won’t have to watch yet another finals series containing a team from Boston and the insufferable, somehow-better-than-you fan base that comes with them. And it’s even sweeter that it was Danny Briere who broke the B’s’ backs with his goal to put the Canadiens ahead 3-1 with under three minutes to play.

Of course, Boston wouldn’t go quietly and sans their typical douchebaggery. Godforfuckingbid they don’t win a championship every six months. Links are to video.

Voila_Capture 2014-05-15_08-43-17_AM

Here’s Brad Marchand punching Tomas Plekanec for no apparent reason.

Voila_Capture 2014-05-15_08-45-33_AM

Here’s Milan Lucic being a douchebag in the post-game handshake line. UPDATE: Lucic actually threatened to kill someone.

And in the post-game media scrum.

Voila_Capture 2014-05-15_08-58-30_AM

And then there were the Bruins fans who littered the ice with rally towels and trash before the game was over, with 2:22 remaining. They of course did it again after the game.

And then there were the obligatory Subban-monkey Tweets.

Go screw, Boston.

Boston are Smarter Than Us

Kyle Scott - February 27, 2014

Photo credit: Robert Deutsch-USA TODAY

Photo credit: Robert Deutsch-USA TODAY

Boston, which can go fuck itself, has won seven titles in the last 10 years. Part of that is luck, part of that is because God hates you, and part of that is because, well, they’re smart and embraced advanced analytics – in all sports – early on.

From Bloomberg:

Beantown is Braintown when it comes to professional sports.

Fueled in part by what one team executive called the “intellectual horsepower” of the area’s universities, Boston’s professional sports teams more than any other city are the domain of statistical-analysis devotees armed with advanced degrees from schools like Harvard University, the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and University of Massachusetts Amherst.

The city’s professional teams cooperate and drive each other to innovate, fueling their success on the field, said Lisa Masteralexis, department head of the sports management program at the Isenberg School at UMass Amherst, whose alumni include Red Sox General Manager Ben Cherington.

“And that may be what’s unique about Boston, that relationship and that dynamic between the pro teams,” Masteralexis said. “There’s a lot about thought leadership in the group — who’s leading the process, where are we headed, let’s learn from each other, and let’s work together.”

Among those mapping the way are Jessica Gelman, vice president of customer marketing and strategy at the Robert Kraft-led Kraft Sports Group, which owns football’s New England Patriots and soccer’s Revolution. The Red Sox are owned by John Henry, formerly a hedge fund manager, while Celtics managing partner Wyc Grousbeck is a former general partner at Highland Capital Partners.

“The owners, especially the Krafts, are well-versed from all of their business backgrounds in the value of analytics,” said Gelman, who has a master’s degree in business administration from Harvard. “While Boston doesn’t have the same technology as you have in Silicon Valley, there are so many startups that have a focus on sports analytics because of the intellectual horsepower here.”

Meanwhile, in Philadelphia [WHO SAID IT?]:

“We’re going to make some changes. I think we’re doing some stuff analytically to change the way we do some evaluations. Look, we are going to continue to be a scouting organization.”


“We haven’t won a championship, but we’ve been in the Stanley Cup Finals a lot of times and the playoffs a lot of times and the culture is to win. 30 teams are trying to win the Cup. And we’re doing our damndest to do it. That’s our culture. THAT’S OUR CULTURE!”

The Flyers are a lost cause. But to be fair, the Phillies did hire their analytics internwho perhaps instructed them to make a grab for gurney groper Chad Gaudin – full-time, so there’s at least one person in the front office who might have an idea what the fuck they’re doing. Chip Kelly and the Eagles are all sorts of progressive. And Sam Hinkie is essentially the Billy Beane of basketball. So now… we just wait for the titles?

Go Screw, Boston

Kyle Scott - October 23, 2013



I’ve spent the past two hours trying to find something – literally anything – to write about. I came close to posting, in-full, a reader rant on Paul Holmgren, but it got incoherent torwards the end and, well, I’m the only one who is allowed to be incoherent around here. So that was out. And there’s nothing else going on. What the hell are you supposed to write about when local teams have won three games IN THE PAST MONTH and any more posts about ex-Philly folks killing it would be trolling?

But then it hit me: Today is Boston day in the sports world. Yet again, Boston.

I love Boston as a city. If there’s one place I had to move, it’d probably be there. Big city stuff in a smaller package. Relatively clean. Beaches nearby. History. An indigenous community.

Great sports teams…

… all of whom can go fuck themselves.

Just in the last 10 years:


Won Super Bowl in 2003

Won Super Bowl in 2004

Lost Super Bowl in 2007

Lost Super Bowl in 2011

Four Super Bowls in 10 years, and that’s not counting their Super Bowl win in 2001 and Super Bowl loss in 1996. 


Won Stanley Cup in 2011

Lost Stanley Cup in 2013

Two of the last three Stanley Cup Finals.


Won NBA Championship in 2008

Lost NBA Finals in 2010

Two Finals appearances, one win, and a thrilling seven-game series with the Heat in the past five years.

Red Sox

Won World Series in 2004

Won World Series in 2007

In World Series in 2013

86-year drought and then two World Series wins in three years, followed by another World Series appearance this year.


In the past 10 years, Boston teams have won six championships (each at least one) and participated in 11 Finals series. And that doesn’t count the several conference-league finals the Patriots, Celtics and Red Sox have played in and lost.

During that same timeframe, Philadelphia has seen four Finals series– 2004 Eagles (lost), 2008 Phillies (won– that’s still hard to write), 2009 Phillies (lost) and 2010 Flyers (lost). Nothing since, and no playoffs in what will wind up being close to two years, if not more. And, as you know, one championship in 30 years.

Every fucking six months a Boston team is either competing for a championship or in the semifinals. Like clockwork, the sports world always comes back to and centers on Boston, so we can all talk about their townspeople and beards. The Red Sox break an 86-year drought in epic fashion. Bill Belichick creates a mini dynasty, beats the Eagles along the way, and Tom Brady marries a supermodel. The Bruins win a seven-game Finals series with a 400-year-old goalie and then, two years later, get back there after a three-goal comeback in THE THIRD PERIOD of Game 7 of the first round. The Celtics assemble an unlikable Dream Team, win the title, and Kevin Garnett screams into a microphone. The Red Sox bottom out, bounce back, and, of course with their beards and pine tar, are right back in the World Series. THEY’RE ALWAYS IN THE MIDDLE OF SHIT. And if it’s not winning, it’s drama. Aaron Hernandez. EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THE RED SOX. Spygate. Beergate. Gronk’s existence. Doc Rivers and Bill Simmons. You name it, it probably happened in or involves someone from Boston.

Obviously, it’s hard to root against the Red Sox this year, as their World Series appearance comes on the heels of the Boston Bombing. They’re the sentimental favorite, and rightfully so. But fuck if their obnoxious beards and we’re not the Yankees shtick isn’t trying really hard to make that not the case. Hey, Mike Napoli– YOU LOOK LIKE AN ASSHOLE. Salt– Do they really fucking call you that? You’re an insanely mediocre baseball player. You can’t grow facial hair, Shane. Oh yeah, just for good, historic measure, let’s grand slam our way into the Series with a former Phillie hitting one, and Big Papi, who doesn’t age, hitting another, which produced an iconic photo with Boston’s finest throwing his fists in the air in a photo composed by God himself because he loves him some Irish Catholic Bostonians. Oh and now there’s a rainbow and a pot of gold over the fucking Monster? Fuck you all.

I hate sports right now.

Flyers Hand Over $42k Check to One Fund Boston

Kyle Scott - April 24, 2013

Screen Shot 2013-04-24 at 12.12.13 PM
Paul Holmgren was disappointed to learn that the payment couldn’t be spread out over 11 years so he could do dumb shit with other raffle funds over the next decade

Great job by the Flyers.

Pic via Frank Seravalli

The Flyers Raised Over $42k for Boston with Largest 50-50 Ever

Kyle Scott - April 24, 2013

Screen Shot 2013-04-24 at 10.55.53 AM
Heyyo national media, let’s see this one get some attention. When we Philly folks aren’t cheering cancer, booing Santa and vomiting in your mother’s britches, we actually do nice things… like applaud Major Drumstick and raise over $42,000 for Boston bombing victims.

Last night, the Flyers’ (brilliant*) 50-50 raised a record $85,595, with half of the money going to One Fund Boston. According to this Tweet from Flyers charities, it is the largest 50-50 ever, for all of history, since the beginning of time and people keeping track of such frivolous things.

*Let’s talk about the raffle: WHY DOESN’T EVERY TEAM DO THIS? Besides the psychology behind folks wanting to play since they have a measurable chance to win, a 50-50 is an easy win for charities, too. I’m surprised more teams don’t do this at every game. And even if they wanted to be greedy.. market it as 50-50 to sign a free agent. If the Phillies did a 50-50 every game and pocketed $30k each night, they could reasonably tell fans that they contributed $2.4 million toward whichever slow, plodding white guy they sign next winter. This way Amaro can blame us when he gets fired. Everybody wins.

Anyway, nice work by the Flyers.

Photos of the Shootout in Boston Last Week

Kyle Scott - April 23, 2013

Remember the guy who was reporting from his bedroom window during the shootout in Boston early Friday morning? Well, he posted a slew of pictures (although, most were already on his Twitter) of the confrontation between the Tsarnaev brothers and police… that happened right outside his window.

He writes:

When I looked outside my window, I could clearly see two people (the Tsarnaev brothers) taking cover behind an SUV and engaging in gunfire. After witnessing shots being fired I promptly ran up the stairs to my 3rd floor bedroom to distance myself a little further away from the gunfire. As I ran into my room, overwhelmed by shock, adrenaline, and curiosity, I jumped onto my bed to stay below the windows but also have a clear view at the shooters and photograph the event. As soon as I was laying safely on my bed I started taking pictures with my iPhone 5 and captured the following images that documented the terrifying shootout with the Tsarnaev brothers, which then led to an overnight citywide manhunt.

Read his account and see his pictures here.