Posts for brett myers

Brett Myers’ Country Album is on Spotify Now

Jim Adair - May 8, 2015

Photo Credit: Chris Humphreys-USA TODAY Sports

Photo Credit: Chris Humphreys-USA TODAY Sports

Back in December, we first found out that Brett Myers is a terrible musician. But the album that post was all about, Backwoods Rebel, is now streaming for free on Spotify. Oh boy is it something.

We’re not going to review the whole thing like some others did, because I’m not sure I have that in me. But here are some standout lyrics:

  • “I saw my neighbor jogging, and I wanted to see more. I took another look. I had to take that chance. It’s the best damn thing that I have seen and it’s those damn yoga pants.” – “Yoga Pants”
  • “It’s the thrill of the hunt, but we won’t need a gun. ‘Cause right around here, the season’s open all year. Going out early. Staying out late. It’s a backwoods party and the bar is my tailgate. Right around here, season’s open all year. Every weekend raisin’ hell, out here chasin’ tail.” – “Chasing Tail”

And none of that includes the lead single “Kegerator,” which is about buying a Kegerator so you nagging wife can’t tell you you’re drinking too much. Myers hates nagging wives.

Spotify’s “related artists” algorithm is the real star here though, since it’s just a who’s who of artists whose names sound sports related, like:

  • The Miami Dolphins
  • The World Series
  • Vince Young (not that Vince Young)
  • Michael Vick (not that Michael Vick)
  • Sir Charles
  • and Ron Mexico

What a time to be alive. A Spotify embed of the album is after the jump, if that’s a road you really want to go down.

Continue Reading

Continue Reading

Brett Myers is a Terrible Musician Now

Jim Adair - December 30, 2014

Photo Credit: Rick Osentoski-USA TODAY Sports

Photo Credit: Rick Osentoski-USA TODAY Sports

Do you like country-rock music that is so stereotypically country-rock it actually sounds like a joke? Well, you’ll love the new EP from former-Phillie Brett Myers, called “Backwoods Rebel.” Or, as NBC Sports’ Craig Calcaterra put it in his fantastic lede: “If you thought that league average pitching and overlooked domestic violence was all that Brett Myers was about, you couldn’t be more wrong. He’s also a singer.”

The track list reads like a call for help — or cast-offs from a “Mr. Show” sketch — including tracks “I Need a Drink,” “Beer Hand Strong,” and lead single “Kegerator.” The EP also features the song “Chasing Tail,” for the ladies. As Myers’ website reads, Myers has been writing songs for years, but it wasn’t until his musician friend was “blown away by his clever concepts,” that they got together to create the “perfect blend of Southern Rock and Country with witty lyrics about drinking and life in the woods.”

Myers’ site says his album is “available everywhere now,” but everywhere doesn’t seem to include the U.S. version of iTunes or any store in the entire world. You can buy it for $6 on CDbaby.

The Cleveland Indians Released Brett Myers Today with This Matter of Fact Tweet

Kyle Scott - August 29, 2013

Screen Shot 2013-08-29 at 3.59.18 PM
Myers started three games for the Indians and had an 8.02 ERA before a right elbow injury sent him to the DL.

From Indians Baseball Insider:

Myers attempted a comeback in June but had to be shut down when he suffered a setback. He recently had been pitching on a rehab assignment in the minors, but the Indians released him rather than activating him and having to add him back as an active member of the 40-man roster and lose a player.

The Indians signed Myers to a one year $7 million contract in the offseason hoping he would provide innings and be a consistent starter for the rotation. There have been grumblings over the past few months that Myers and the Indians did not see eye to eye with his injury, so this is a move that comes as no surprise. He is now a free agent and free to sign with any team.

If you’re keeping score at home and want to feel really sad, here’s a running list of the 2008 World Fucking Champions (going by World Series roster) that are no longer in baseball or don’t have a team:

Pat Burrell

Eric Bruntlett

Chris Coste

Pedro Feliz

Geoff Jenkins

Matt Stairs

Ryan Madson

J.C. Romero

Brad Lidge

Chad Durbin

Scott Eyre

Jamie Moyer

Brett Myers

Incredibly, Greg Dobbs is still playing baseball.

Astros Sign Myers, And Ed Wade LOVES Former Phillies

Kyle Scott - January 12, 2010

Ed wade

The Astros have finalized a contract with Brett Myers, a now former FWFC (Former World Fucking Champion).  Shockingly, Ed Wade was the GM who pulled off the move.  Myers isn't the first former Phil that Wade has signed.

Seriously, I have never seen someone have such a love affair with a team's throwaways.  Wade, who general managed the Phils to a bunch of no playoff appearances, now rules the roost in Houston, who by the way hasn't made the playoffs since he took over.

In his short time there, he has signed, Michael Bourn, Geoff Geary, Mike Costanzo (former Phils draft pick, Delco resident, and an old friend of mine, now with Baltimore), Jason Michaels, Chris Coste, and now Pedro Feliz and Brett Myers.  It's like he's trying to repeat mediocrity.  With the exception of Feliz, all of these guys represent the core of guys who couldn't get it done for so many years in Philly, why does he keep signing them?  I literally think he knows no one else in the game, and has to keep signing his former players to field a squad.  You just know Pat Burrell is next.