Posts for chooch

Today in Ridiculous Twitter Photos: Scott Hartnell as Larry Bird and Chooch with a Glove full of Kittens

Jim Adair - October 30, 2014

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Not Rajon Rondo.

Scott Hartnell, who has 10 points in nine games (one goal, nine assists) for his new 4-5 Columbus Blue Jackets, asked people on Twitter to guess his Halloween costume. It was Larry Bird, and even with his getup’s reasonable realism, the shorts still aren’t short enough. The shorts are never short enough.

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Another topic of discussion during the taping of the new Crossing Streams podcast yesterday was how much the Eagles are killing it on social media and how the Phillies could learn a thing or two from them. This picture (posted for National Cat Day), of Carlos Ruiz holding a bunch of incredibly tiny kittens in a glove, is a start. You can never go wrong with Chooch and Pussies.

Twitter Reacts to Roy Halladay’s Love of Chase Utley

Jim Adair - July 22, 2014

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Roy loves Chase and you love Roy for loving Chase. Your best Tweets, after the jump.

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Chooch is Actually Concussed Worse Than We Thought

Jim Adair - July 2, 2014

Photo Credit: Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

Photo Credit: Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

More good news for the Phillies, as Carlos Ruiz is recovering from his latest concussion at a glacial pace. According to the Inquirer:

“Ruiz did not travel with the team. He is eligible to be activated Friday from the 7-day disabled list, but that will not happen. He is under the supervision of doctors in Philadelphia. They have administered the industry-standard IMPACT test on Ruiz.

Phillies manager Ryne Sandberg described Ruiz’s recovery as a ‘slow process.’

‘He’s failing those tests,’ Sandberg said. ‘He still gets the dizziness and the eye sensation to brightness.'”

The Inky goes on to point out that Ruiz missed 20 games due to a concussion in 2010, and there’s apparently no reason to believe he won’t miss just as many (or more) with this one. For the Phillies, who are now eleven games under .500, there should be no rush to get him back. And really, is there any better metaphor for this team than the most (or 2nd most) beloved player sidelined because he was hit by a curveball?

Your Monday Morning Roundup: Humongous Big and Loony Edition!

Kyle Scott - March 4, 2013

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Pic via Amanda Rykoff

A bouncer at a strip club once told me that "crack kills." 

Let’s hit it!


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– Please welcome our new sponsor, Tour Golf Revolution. Want to golf like a pro and be part of a competition? Must check this out. Very cool. 


The roundup:

– On Saturday, we ran a story about Andrew Bynum allegedly throwing a shot glass and (somewhat jokingly) threatening to kill the friend of a CB reader at Buffalo Billiards on Friday night. A few unverified accounts have come in since. One person, claiming that he worked at Buffalo Billiards, at first offered to clarify some details, but then decided against it when he told me that CB has become too gossipy (…). But two commenters added the following:

The guy I was playing against was quick witted and very sarcastic so someone getting flustered and pissed with him isn't hard to understand. Bynum minded his own most of the night and latched on to two girls from the get-go and stayed with them even through his interesting departure. (Maybe that's part of his ladies closing tactic).

The guy asked if he could take a shot and told the girls and Bynum not to move for a sec so Bynum flicked his stick. The guy turned around and they both laughed and shot one liners back and forth. The dude went to shoot again and Bynum went with the flick move once again. They were still laughing but I did specifically hear the guy say jokingly, "don't make me cross check you like the real sport that wins at Wells Fargo". Neither team is winning so not the best line but still Bynum didn't like it and when he went to shoot for a third time Bynum made a gun out of his fingers and pushed down on his head. The guy said something along the lines of you're really not going to let me finish this game and Bynum said "you wanna play the death game?" Multiple times and said he has his boys and they can go back to his place and play whenever they want. Then he decided to spell out K-I-L-L… Show off. The guy said what do you think my answer is to that? And Bynum threw the glass and squared him up. Good shot if you ask me. He was covered from collar to bottom of chest. The dude did indeed yell stop the music that's the first shot Bynum made in Philly.



I was there last night (my tweet referenced above) and can confirm that Bynum was there alone, and seemed to be going back and forth between 2 different groups of chicks. I was not near the pool table while the confrontation started but as me and my buddy were leaving at like 1:50am we caught the tail end of the argument and basically told Bynum to leave as it wasn't worth it for him. He didn't leave with any girls as someone mentioned in a comment earlier. He walked out with us, and was still really frustrated about those dudes trying to rile him up. As we were half a block away, a drunk blonde chickenhead ran out of the bar and was screaming down the block to him about how he was leaving alone (I suppose implying that no one cared about him and highlighting that he was a loser for coming out by himself). At which point the cops across the street got on their megaphone and told her to grow up and go back inside. Bynum walked with us and then went into a huka bar where he said he knew the owner. Didn't see much wrong doing from the big man, just a couple of guys who thought they were cool talking trash to an NBA player – end of story.


Reader Dominic, a reliable loon spotter, sent along this update:

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– Meanwhile, over the Constitution Center, where the Sixers held a disaster of a press conference to present the players from their breathtaking trade, a devotional to Bynum:

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via (@KennyTLP)

Yet somehow he is still Plan A.

– Very important nerd update: Bryz’s Star Wars mask has been updates to include Yoda holding his proper green lightsaber:

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– Speaking of Propper, I was on Propper Hockey last week with Brian Propp and Lou Tilley. You can watch it here.

– Philly native, sports fan and Eagles season ticket holder Jim Cramer, host of CNBC’s Mad Money (I love this show), was tweeting from all around Philly this weekend:

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Modern Family cast members trapped in an elevator. Really.

– Last week, Dennis Rodman met with North Korean leader and Chicago Bulls fan Kim Jong Un, who told Rodman that he wants Obama to call him. This, too, is real. And now for America’s next trick… we’ll be sending Snooki to meet with Ahmadinejad, who wants to exterminate Jews and destroy the West but is a lover of fat, drunken pussy.

Here’s a trolling article about soccer in Sunday's Inquirer. “To me, soccer is much ado about not enough. The teams run around for an hour and a half and if the fans are lucky, their team may – hold your breath! – score a goal or two.”

Meanwhile, Freddy Adu is the most predictable disaster ever.

Best buzzer ever.

The Apple iWatch is going to happen.

Videos. After the jump, watch Brendan Shanahan explain Harry Z’s suspension and see highlights from the Flyers Wive Carnival courtesy of our friend Dave Grzybowski from La Salle TV.

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Morning Wood: Pinching Chooch

Kyle Scott - May 31, 2012

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He's… so happy

How about a game where delightfully fat and slightly injured Chooch hits a two-run, pinch-hit, game-tying bomb in the hell hole known as Flushing, New York?

Sign me up!

Carlos Ruiz’s two-run blast in the top of the seventh tied last night's game at 3-3 and prevented Cliff Lee from being eligible for yet another loss. The Phillies would explode for seven more runs on their way to a 10-6 victory against the Metropolitans.

Carlos, predictably, was so happy: [

"I'm so happy to have that big home run right there. I was trying to get at least a base hit to get the inning going. I got a good pitch to hit and made a good swing."


Charlie Manuel, predictably, knew his pinch-hitter would come up big: 

"I had a feeling he was going to get a knock," Manuel said. "That's why I put him up there."


Cliff Lee, predictably, and like Roy Halladay, thinks Chooch is the best player on the team right now: 

"He's a great player, and he's proven it day in and day out," Lee said of Ruiz. "He's been a great catcher ever since I've been involved with him, and now he's starting to prove it even more with the bat. It just shows how complete of a player he is. He's our best player right now and has been the whole time."


The Amaro Lies

Ruben Amaro, who back in February classified Ryan Howard’s second surgery as not a setback, tells CSN Philly’s Jim Salisbury that The Big Piece probably won’t be back in June:

Amaro was asked if he believed Howard could be back before the end of June.

“I don’t believe so,” he said. “I don’t think so.”

Could Howard be back by the All-Star break?

“I don’t know,” Amaro said.


Howard actually had muscle removed during his surgery, something that was just revealed by the team last week following an all-out assault on their transparency from the Inquirer. 


Now on to Halladay…  

Doc saw another doctor yesterday in New York– Dr. David Altchek, who performed surprise Tommy John surgery on Twin Scott Baker. There’s no indication that anything is wrong with Halladay’s elbow… but there are a number of odd occurrences involving Doc since March that make us uneasy:

Decreased velocity in spring training, denies injury.

Leaves team after poor outing – in which he once again looked overheated – for “personal family issue,” returns next day. 

Wild rumors pop up about Doc’s health as people speculate what’s wrong and why he left team.

More bad starts.

Shoulder soreness, pulled from start. 

Lat strain, out 6-8 weeks.

Second opinion, will speak with media on Friday, likely in a secret, staged meeting by Phillies PR gestapo. 

Does this worry anyone else, or is it just me? 


A mobile-friendly link to the CBP beer guide.

The Rapists for 100, Alex

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The serial rapist in the Northeast looks an awful lot like Shane Victorino, as pointed out by reader Emily. We're told it was Cliff Lee who gave a description to sketch artists.

Old Balls

Jamie Moyer was DFA'd.


Finally, the mermaid of John Mayberry Jr.’s affection, actress Antoinette Nikprelaj, is in a Carl’s Jr. ad, as pointed out by reader Ray.

I bet John wishes she was biting into his meat. What, too graphic?

Everybody Hits! (Seriously, Almost Everybody)

Kyle - May 24, 2011

Chase Utley gets a raucous standing ovation last night (AP)

The Phillies scored 10 runs on 14 hits last night in a 10-3 win over the Reds. Yes, that is the total from one game and not an entire week. Let's dig deeper: In their previous seven games, the Phillies had scored exactly 10 runs, and they had only one game in their last eight where they had more than six hits. In the 3rd inning alone last night, they had six hits.  Five different players – Rollins, Polanco, Howard, Ibanez, and Ruiz had multi-hit games. That's only the second time all season that more than four different players in the order had multi-hit games.

Bronson Arroyo, with his mid-80's fastball, is the kind of pitcher the 2007-2009 Phillies would have hammered. He pitches to contact, is usually around the plate, and doesn't throw hard. I thought they would score some off him last night as well, but the way this lineup has been hitting lately, you just never know.

We don't usually do game recaps, but since it's been a while that we could talk about some offense, let's break down the two key at-bats last night that helped the Phillies hang some crooked numbers.

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The Epitome of Class: Halladay Gives Chooch Replica of Cy Young Award

Ryan Gillon - March 26, 2011

A bromance that could bring a tear to your eye…

To say that Roy Halladay is a class act would be a gross understatement at this point. We're reminded often by his modesty, work ethic, his appreciation of the fans here and elsewhere, and his respect for the game of baseball.

Seven months ago, Halladay purchased 60 watches for his teammates and other members of the Phillies organization. The watches commemorated his perfect game against the Florida Marlins last May 27th. The MSRP on the each watch was almost $4,300 and was engraved with a message saying "We did it together. Thanks, Roy Halladay".

Gives you chills, doesn't it?

Well, wait just one second, because it gets better. Roy's latest act of kindness may be his classiest ever.

He left a brown box in front of Carlos Ruiz's locker yesterday during yesterday's exhibition game against the Braves. Ruiz found the box during the seventh inning. I'll let Paul Hagen of take it from here.

Curious, [Ruiz] dug into the wrapping paper and packing bubbles and found an exact replica of Halladay's Cy Young Award. He looked at reliever Danys Baez standing nearby and said a few words in Spanish. Both men beamed.


Wow. I know that Cliff Lee gets a ton of praise around here for being, well… Cliff Lee. But it's moments like these that remind you just what kind of guy we have at the top of this Phillies rotation.

Chooch spoke briefly about his gift with some classy comments of his own:

"It's definitely going to be in a special room in my house. I'll always remember this gift from him. Anything he does for me is special, because if I were going to pay to watch baseball, that's the guy I'd like to watch play the game."


It's a beautiful bromance, folks. By the way, our resident class act takes the mound in six days to open the 2011 season against the Houston Astros. It can't come soon enough.

Video: Roy Halladay Wins in MLB 2K11 Commercial

Kyle Scott - March 3, 2011


Turns out Doc can act.

2K Sports had already knocked it out of the park (puns!) with this Brian Wilson commercial, but, last night, their newest spot was posted to YouTube. It features Roy Halladay, at home during the offseason, pining over Carlos Ruiz . Solution? Inflatable Chooch.

Besides the obvious awesome that accompanies this, could you imagine having your own inflatable Carlos? You could take him to the park, regale him with tales of woe, or simply snuggle with him in a festive manner- the way Doc does.

Video after the jump.

H/T to Brian

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