Today, Comcast executive VP and quite possibly the worst person in the business world, David L. Cohen, wrote an open letter defending his company’s proposed merger with Time Warner, which would make them the largest communications-content company in the history of Earth. The letter itself is mostly bullshit, the kind of bullshit that’s gestated in a bath of lawyers, publicists and evildoers hell-bent on ruling the world. But I will call out for you a couple of points so rich in doublespeak that even George Orwell would’ve had trouble conceiving propaganda like this.
Cohen’s strongest argument is that many (MANY!) politicians support the merger:
Among the substantive comments that have been filed in support of the transaction already are those of the governors of Maryland (Martin O’Malley) and Pennsylvania (Tom Corbett) as well as support from the Democratic Governors Association. We are honored to have the support of a bipartisan group of more than 50 mayors, from coast to coast, including both Comcast and Time Warner Cable cities, with a combined population of over 9 million people and representing major cities such as Anaheim, Denver, Jacksonville, Miami, Albuquerque, Philadelphia, and Austin. We are especially gratified for the support of mayors and other local officials underscoring the powerful benefits of this transaction for their cities, constituents, and customers because they uniquely understand their local needs and the impact that the enhanced scale, investment, and innovation of Comcast will have on their local communities.
That’s great, but a random sample Google search (of the local people) shows exactly what you might expect. Oddly, the least offensive thing here may be Comcast’s fight against paid sick time:
A major Pennsylvania Democratic donor has announced that he will back Republican Gov. Tom Corbett’s bid for reelection in 2014, according to multiple state news outlets.
As first reported by The Philadelphia Inquirer, Comcast Executive Vice President David Cohen hosted a January fundraiser for Corbett at his Philadelphia home that helped net the governor $200,000 for his reelection campaign.
“I expect to support Gov Corbett,” Cohen told the Inquirer in an email message this week.
At least 16 entities signed up as “platinum” sponsors, chipping in $25,000 apiece, according to a partial list released last week by O’Malley’s inaugural committee. They included Comcast, Marriott International and 1st Mariner Bank.
The biggest opponent of the bill is Philadelphia-based telecommunications giant Comcast. Almost all of the $108,429.25 Comcast spent on lobbying in 2011 was in opposition to paid sick days. It also is a major contributor to Mayor Nutter, contributing $7,500 to his campaign in 2011 and an additional $8,500 in 2012.
Really, it would’ve been best to stop reading there, because any argument that starts off with the arguer citing people ostensibly on its payroll is probably a shitty argument. It’d be like me saying the new Editor’s Commentary is great because Jim (who gets PTO, by the way) agrees that it is great (for realsies, it is great and we’re doing it again). Continue Reading