Pic via (@jose3030)
Re-live the absurdity that was the Major League Baseball Home Run Derby. Chris Berman "back" counter included.
8:01 And we're live… with an uncomfortable second base performance by Jason Aldean. Don't worry, I have no idea who he is, either. Apparently, the song is called "It's My Kind of Party." Looks that way, one player's kid is covering his ears.
8:04 Cue Berman, standing on home plate with Saturn's rings wrapped around his neck. Wait, nope, just a tie.
He's pumping up the crowd WWE style: "Are we ready?" Elevated crickets at best.
8:10 After introducing the lineup, Boomer turns it over to John Kruk and Nomar Garciaparra. Nomar comments that the players came out of the dugout "sweaty," indicating that they must be ready for the event. It's 100 degrees in Phoenix. That could be a factor, as well.
John Kruk: "You don't understand the intensity that's down here."
No, we do. Anyone who has ever watched a heated bingo night has experienced this cauldron of anticipation. B 7, B 7. The letter B and the number 7. B 7.
8:12 This is always my favorite part: Pedro Gomez introduces kids from a local Boys and Girls Clubs. Tonight's donation will be determined by an arbitrary home run hitting contest. Sometimes life ain't fair, kids.
8:15 Cal Ripken to throw out first pitch. Congrats, Cal, this is old-timer life. After a brief debate, baseball's Iron Man throws it from the mound. Would we have it any other way?
8:16 Big Papi replaces Robinson Cano with Adrian Gonzalez in the leadoff spot. The Red Sox-Yankees rivalry never dies.
8:18 Nomar comments on the players' forearm muscles. Did somebody say performance enhancing drugs? No? OK.
8:21 Nomar: "I really like the mentality both sides are showing."
That was after one pitch. One. It's 8:21 and we're just now getting underway. Can you feel the excitement?
8:21 First home run of the night, ESPN debuts new distance counter, which appears in ball's landing spot. Nice. Subtle, simple, useful. – politely claps –
8:22 POOL SHOT!!!! Gets a "splashdown" from Boom. We're off to a roaring start.
8:25 We're five outs in and not a single "back back" from Berman. This may be a conscious effort.
8:26 Never mind. Three "backs." Over/under is 72.
8:26 I'm pretty sure Heath Bell, who is sitting at the announcer's table, just said "I'm taping this shit at home." He was bleeped. The Chase Utley HR Derby Delay Corollary makes its first contribution of the night. Chase: The gift who keeps on giving.
8:28 Gold ball worth $150. Apparently, there is actually gold in the ball. The children from the Boys and Girls Clubs look on in horror. Back home they play with a rubber coated sphere of duct tape.