Posts for commentary

End of Days Running Commentary

Kyle Scott - July 30, 2012

image from

I really didn’t want to do this. I mean, I really didn’t want to implement a 30-hour-long running tracker of the dismantling of the Phillies. But, it looks like we have to.

The rumors are coming in fast and furious now, and no one is safe. Women and children and Joe Blanton off first, please.

4:19 p.m.

That's it. We're shutting it down. Phillies trade Shane Victorino and Hunter Pence at deadline. No other moves.

Re-live the last 30 hours… after the jump.

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Your NHL Trade Deadline Running Commentary

Kyle Scott - February 27, 2012

Keep it locked here all day for any updates and rumor chasing. 

3:01 p.m.: Deadline. Nada. Some deals could get announced after 3, so stay tuned for any updates as they relate to the Flyers. But I'm thinking there are none.

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Bird Droppings: Running Commentary From Sunday Night Football

Kyle Scott - October 31, 2011

Screen Shot 2011-10-31 at 11.54.26 AM

Photo via Philly Sports Daily photo gallery

This started out with me taking notes on my iPad, then slowly evolved into a full-on running commentary of the Eagles national TV Halloween party.



– There’s Faith Hill. This song is cheesy and awful, but even as Faith ages, she continues to wear the black leather pants well. Ordinarily, we’d find her mousey and annoying. In a sports context, however, she’s downright saucy. Women lose about 10 years and 10 pounds when they're connected to sports– it's a fact (Hannah Storm Corollary). I mean, Colleen Dominguez looks like she got hit by a bus… but is still damnnn fine when she’s interviewing an NBA player.

– Oh hey, speaking of getting hit by a bus, there’s Michele Tafoya. She’s dressed as a pumpkin tonight. Or a pilgrim. One or the other. Michelle is the exception to the sports context rule.


First quarter 

– It appears as though the Eagles re-sodded the center of the field, yet it somehow looks worse than the rest. The two-tone field is one of the most underrated travesties in all of sports. Groundskeepers have one job, and one job only: make the field look good. Isn’t there a way to mow, cut, or dye the grass so it matches the rest of the turf? This happens all summer with that little box in front of the pitcher’s mound at CBP– can we at least get the football field looking right eight times a year? Is that too much to ask? 

– Annnnnd Shady McCoy trips on the new grass for his first run of the game. 

– Watching the game with the family tonight. My Mom: "The grass looks horrible, it's on TV.” I know, Mom. I know.

– 12:04 1st- More Mom: "Why does he dress and look so unprofessional?" That would be the first Rob Ryan sighting.

– 10:41 1st- Jeremy Maclin touchdown! That has to make Ryan Howard happy, he wore a Maclin jersey to the game.

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- First drive: four runs, four passes. Eagles score first first-possession touchdown of year. It’s also the first first-quarter touchdown given up by Cowboys this year. This, folks, is a good sign.

– They actually had to try to screw this one up: Eagles go offsides on kickoff, get penalized five yards, re-kick, kick ball out of bounds, now, because they got moved an additional five yards, the Cowboys will start with the ball on their own 45. Who had the double-penalty kickoff parlayed? Big money if you did.

- Tony Romo takes the field. Is it just me, or is he sporting a borderline rattail from beneath his helmet? I know it’s always there, but this has a little bit of flow going on. Again, NATIONAL TV— it’ all about appearance… and, you know, winning.

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Your Eagles Free Agency Running Commentary

Kyle Scott - July 29, 2011

This is a sticky post at the top of the site, updated in reverse chronological order, with the most recent post coming above the jump. Got it? Good.

We stopped updating this once Nnamdi was signed. Read below for all the previous moves.

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Home Run Derby Running Commentary

Kyle Scott - July 12, 2011

Pic via (@jose3030)

Re-live the absurdity that was the Major League Baseball Home Run Derby. Chris Berman "back" counter included.


8:01 And we're live… with an uncomfortable second base performance by Jason Aldean. Don't worry, I have no idea who he is, either. Apparently, the song is called "It's My Kind of Party." Looks that way, one player's kid is covering his ears. 

8:04 Cue Berman, standing on home plate with Saturn's rings wrapped around his neck. Wait, nope, just a tie.

He's pumping up the crowd WWE style: "Are we ready?" Elevated crickets at best.

8:10 After introducing the lineup, Boomer turns it over to John Kruk and Nomar Garciaparra. Nomar comments that the players came out of the dugout "sweaty," indicating that they must be ready for the event. It's 100 degrees in Phoenix. That could be a factor, as well.

John Kruk: "You don't understand the intensity that's down here." 

No, we do. Anyone who has ever watched a heated bingo night has experienced this cauldron of anticipation. B 7, B 7.  The letter B and the number 7. B 7.

8:12 This is always my favorite part: Pedro Gomez introduces kids from a local Boys and Girls Clubs. Tonight's donation will be determined by an arbitrary home run hitting contest. Sometimes life ain't fair, kids.

8:15 Cal Ripken to throw out first pitch. Congrats, Cal, this is old-timer life. After a brief debate, baseball's Iron Man throws it from the mound. Would we have it any other way?

8:16 Big Papi replaces Robinson Cano with Adrian Gonzalez in the leadoff spot. The Red Sox-Yankees rivalry never dies.

8:18 Nomar comments on the players' forearm muscles. Did somebody say performance enhancing drugs? No? OK.

8:21 Nomar: "I really like the mentality both sides are showing."

That was after one pitch. One. It's 8:21 and we're just now getting underway. Can you feel the excitement?

8:21 First home run of the night, ESPN debuts new distance counter, which appears in ball's landing spot. Nice. Subtle, simple, useful. – politely claps –

8:22 POOL SHOT!!!! Gets a "splashdown" from Boom. We're off to a roaring start.

8:25 We're five outs in and not a single "back back" from Berman. This may be a conscious effort.

8:26 Never mind. Three "backs." Over/under is 72.

8:26 I'm pretty sure Heath Bell, who is sitting at the announcer's table, just said "I'm taping this shit at home." He was bleeped. The Chase Utley HR Derby Delay Corollary makes its first contribution of the night. Chase: The gift who keeps on giving.

8:28 Gold ball worth $150. Apparently, there is actually gold in the ball. The children from the Boys and Girls Clubs look on in horror. Back home they play with a rubber coated sphere of duct tape.

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