Posts for cowboys

Dallas Cowboys Announce that Earl Thomas Will Not be a Cowboy

Kevin Kinkead - March 13, 2019

When you run a team Twitter account, it might not be a great idea to report that a highly sought-after free agent, who was extensively linked to your franchise, is going to another franchise instead

But that’s what the fine folks running the Cowboys Twitter account went and did, y’all. They decided to tell their fans that Earl Thomas is headed to Baltimore via their “free agency tracker,” seen right here:

Lmao!

The responses from jilted p̶o̶s̶e̶r̶s̶ fans are very good, after the jump:

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Jason Witten Simultaneously Improves Monday Night Football, Weakens Cowboys

BWanksCB - February 28, 2019

I actually had to do a double-take to make sure this was legit, but if you happen to be a fan of competent football analysts who also have a command of the English language, boy, do I have good news for you:

L.O.L.

A true win-win here. Witten leaves the booth to rejoin the Cowboys, and I have to say, I’m very excited to watch him trudge six yards up the field, catch the ball, and fall down short of the sticks.

Here’s Witten on his decision to return for a 16th NFL season, after the jump:

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The Cowboys Fired Their Offensive Coordinator

Kevin Kinkead - January 18, 2019

Bummer.

I was hoping he’d stick around:

The Cowboys’ offense pretty much sucked until the Amari Cooper trade. They finished bottom-half or bottom-ten in yards per game, pass yards per game, and points per game. The only thing they consistently did well was run the football.

Anyway, that’s enough about the Cowboys for now.

Taking a Look at the Good Dallas Defense and Bad Dallas Offense

Kevin Kinkead - November 8, 2018

Let’s get it back to the Eagles.

Big game Sunday.

It’s easy to sit here and talk shit about the Cowboys and their fans and whatever, but let’s take a look at the numbers and the film and see what we can learn about this 3-5 team.

They’re a top-five defense and bottom-six offense, so there’s just a lot of imbalance in the squad. Don’t be surprised to see a low-scoring game.

Here are some of those standout defensive marks, and how they rank league-wide:

  • 317 yards per game (4th)
  • 99.9 rush yards per game (10th)
  • 217.1 pass yards per game (5th)
  • 18.9 points per game (3rd)
  • 8 takeaways (20th)
  • 28 sacks (6th)
  • 147 first downs allowed (4th)
  • 44.4% third down allowance rate (29th)
  • 47 penalties (5th)
  • 337 penalty yards (2nd)
  • 69.2% opponent passes completed (28th)

You see they don’t give up much through the air or on the ground, but they do allow a lot of pass completions and don’t thrive in takeaways, so that might be an area the Eagles can attack with short passes and yards after the catch. Golden Tate had a monstrous game against the Cowboys earlier this season, so he comes in at a perfect time for the Birds.

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Dallas Week: Why Supporting the Cowboys Probably Makes You a Poser (Part 2)

Kevin Kinkead - November 7, 2018

Note: I wrote this column last year and decided to tweak it, update it, and publish a new version for 2018. 

………………………………

We all know one of these guys:

“Born and raised in Marlton! But I’m a lifelong Cowboys fan because my dad knew Nate Newton’s cousin.”

“Love the star on the helmet! I used to watch Roger Staubach on television back in 1974.”

“Well I grew up in Iowa, but we didn’t have a team, so I picked the Cowboys.”

These are all valid reasons to be a Dallas fan, according to Dallas fans. None of them involve being from Texas or ever having visited. “America’s Team” welcomes all front-runners and fakes.

This topic comes up every season. Eagles vs. Cowboys. It’s Dallas week on sports talk radio and disgusting locals crawl out their garbage pits to explain how they grew up in Northeast Philadelphia but support a 3-5 football team that hasn’t won diddly poo since the 1990s and is now being run into the ground by an owner who clings to the past and holds nobody accountable. The Cowboys “ain’t been nothing” for years, as Stephen A Smith recently said, yet you still have all of these bandwagon jabronies clinging to Dallas as if Troy Aikman is still out there slinging the ball around.

Philly is old-school and parochial. You grow up here, you support Philly teams. Eagles games are a family affair. You build memories through tangible experiences, like actually physically being inside of Veterans Stadium or meeting your favorite player after the game. You understand the city’s blue collar, non-cosmopolitan roots and why sport is a common thread. The third-shift factory worker who I saw puking outside of Les and Doreen’s in Fishtown last week  might not have much in common with Rand Spear, the accident lawyer, but both were probably standing somewhere on Broad Street nine months ago, watching the Birds’ celebrate their first Super Bowl win.

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Is Jason Witten Wearing a Toupée?

Kevin Kinkead - November 6, 2018

Saw this floating around on “the Twitter” earlier.

Jason Witten went from not having much hair, to now having a lot of hair.

See for yourself:

Toupee?

Sharpie?

Hair restoration with Dr. Paul Glat up in Bala Cynwyd?

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Eagles Monday: The Coordinators on Tim Jernigan, Golden Tate, and Other Stuff

Kevin Kinkead - November 5, 2018

It’s Dallas week. Get pumped.

Well it’s not technically Dallas week yet, since the Cowboys play the Titans tonight at home, so we’ll see if they limp into this one at 3-5 or head up to Philly as a .500 team coming off a win.

Coordinators Mike Groh and Jim Schwartz spoke today, covering a variety of topics from the addition of Golden Tate and return of Tim Jernigan to the heavy blitzing in the Jacksonville win.

Mike Groh

  • Tate is a veteran player who has been in different systems, so he has familiarity with various looks and offensive approaches
  • Tate is extremely competitive, a guy with excellent YAC qualities, fits nicely and complements the guys who are already in the huddle
  • Agholor and Tate are both dynamic players, they “do some similar things very well” but have different types of games as well, not worried about overlap
  • Can cuse the passing game as an extension of the running game in some situations, but “it certainly doesn’t replace the physicality of a run game”
  • Tate had explosive plays against Dallas in week four, made some guys miss, a big part of why Detroit was in that game
  • learning a new playbook is like learning a new language, but Tate is a smart guy and can relate the Eagles system to things he’s done in the past with Detroit and Seattle
  • not sure where his offensive line is in terms with injuries at this point (Lane Johnson and Jason Peters)
  • doesn’t see Corey Clement struggling, just hasn’t had a breakout game this season
  • confident in Big V at left tackle, happy with what they’ve gotten out of Josh Adams thus far

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Stephen A Smith Puts on a Cowboy-Trolling Masterclass

Kevin Kinkead - November 5, 2018

ESPN’s First Take broadcasted from Dallas this morning ahead of the highly-anticipated matchup between the 3-4 Cowboys and 3-4 Titans.

Stephen A Smith, who can sometimes be an insufferable blowhard, was at the top of his game, speaking the truth about a Dallas franchise that ain’t won shit since the 1990s and ain’t gonna win shit with Dak Prescott, Jason Garrett, and Jerry Jones running the show.

Here’s Stephen A preaching the gospel in front of Michael Irvin:

“Y’all ain’t nothing! Okay? Ya ain’t been nothing. Last time y’all was something, you had an afro!”

More truths after the jump:

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