Posts for david

Phillies Beat Writer Continues to Display Rudimentary Understanding of the Medium on Which He Makes a Living

Kyle Scott - February 19, 2013

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Daily News pseudo Phillies beat writer David Murphy, whose understanding of the Internet apparently consists of boobs, beer and SEO (which is actually, like, a real, useful thing that perhaps Murphy’s employer,, would have been wise to implement back in, say, 2005, when the company viewed direct mail* as its biggest threat in a rapidly changing media landscape), wrote a very meta blog post which threw some much-needed cold water on a WIP report that the Phillies were aggressively pursuing Giancarlo Stanton. [They’re not, really. Likely just did some due diligence, since, from afar, it appears that the Marlins would sell their pitcher's mound if it saved them a few bucks.]

Besides pointing out the obvious – that the chances of Stanton becoming a Phillie, or going anywhere right now, are slim to none – Murphy managed to once again sound like a self-absorbed d-bag who has no idea how that fancy new medium the kids use works. Go ahead, Cheeser:

At first, I was going to take a principled stand and refuse to write a blog post. But by the time I made that decision, my Twitter feed and email inbox were full of questions regarding a Chris May tweet of a WIP rumor that alleges the Phillies are "aggressively" pursuing Marlins slugger Giancarlo Stanton. So I decided that I had to write something. Then I figured, why not go all out and search engine optimize my headline, since really what we have here is little more than a naked grab for metrics. So, apologies, you will not find any boobs in this post. You will, however, find an explanation of why I wouldn't infer that the Phillies have a shot in hell of acquiring Stanton, even if they are, as alleged, aggressively pursuing him.


Funny, because the naked grab for metrics (like the Daily News and are above that sort of thing) started on the radio. And had there not been this shiny new thing on our desk boxes, the story likely would have gotten more legs– Hey, did you hear the Phillies are getting Stanton? Instead, the report was quickly shot down by those in the know – on the Internet – and Phillies fans will keep their sanity this afternoon.

Of course, this isn’t the first time that Murphy’s understanding of the intertubes has been about as deep as your great uncle’s:

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But it’s the hypocrisy from someone who collects a paycheck from a company that keeps a photo gallery of Wingettes on its sports page at all times…

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… that partnered with Bleacher Report to put SEO friendly, user-generated junk next to real, actual news…

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… junk like this… 

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… that is oh so rich. Rich. GET RICH QUICK. 12 STEPS TO GET RICH QUICK! Just hit the jump to find out how.

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This Article is Insufferable, Even by David Murphy Standards

Kyle Scott - February 12, 2013

image from

Writing today about the psyche of an athlete, thirty-something quasi-beat writer for a dying newspaper David Murphy, who just refuses to spell out single-digit numbers, managed to reach new levels of insufferable with this prose about athletes lying to themselves about their ailments:

Last year, a segment of fans and talking heads espoused a disconcerting school of thought during Utley's eventual 3-month absence from the active roster. Utley, the suggestion went, was not honest with himself or the organization about his knees, and because of that, he hindered the Phillies' ability to replace him. My response to anybody who asked my opinion on the matter was that it was nonsense, and my explanation went something like this:

The ability to lie to oneself, and to believe those lies, is a fundamental requirement for an elite-level athlete. The measure of an athlete's psychology is his ability to convince himself that the impossible can be attained. That psychology extends to his physical health, which, at most points during a season, is somewhere less than 100 percent. An athlete's job is to convince himself that he is not in pain, and, failing that, that the pain is not strong enough to hinder his performance, and, failing that, that the pain that is hindering his performance is within his control, that it can be overcome with the proper adjustments, be they mental or mechanical.

A major league pitcher must convince himself that he is capable of performing a task that the human body was not meant to do. This season, Roy Halladay's mission is to convince himself of the irrelevance of the fact that his body turns 36 years old on May 14. Perhaps he will find inspiration in Chris Carpenter, his friend and former teammate who as a 36-year-old in 2011 logged 237 1/3 innings before pitching the Cardinals to a World Series title.


Or, Roy Halladay should acknowledge the fact that he’ll turn 36 this year and, instead of ignoring it, make adjustments to his routine and his approach, the way so many other successful, aging pitchers have done before him. 

Or, you know, just pretend that he’s 22, a method of self-trickery that Murphy himself dismissed as, at best, unreliable (at worst, foolish) just a few paragrahs before claiming that it should be Halladay's mission.

Shea Weber Agrees to Offer Sheet with Flyers!

Ryan Gillon - July 19, 2012


I said it two weeks ago… Paul Holmgren is never done.

At 12:45 am this morning, TSN's Darren Dreger reported that Nashville Predators defenseman Shea Weber has agreed to a 14-year offer sheet with the Philadelphia Flyers for over $100 million.

Predators GM David Poile will have seven days to match the offer sheet. Poile said earlier in the offseason that he would match anything Weber put his name on. Paul Holmgren has officially called Poile's bluff.

If for some reason the Predators elect not to match, they could receive up to four first-round compensatory picks, depending on the structure of the contract. But ya know, structure could mean a lot of things like… this.



Okay, let me slow down a second here. It's late… I'm groggy, and kind of excited that there's hockey news that doesn't have the acronym "C.B.A." attached to it.


…better. Alright.

I absolutely jumped out of bed for this because… this is the kinda shit you jump out of bed for, but here's the deal: I do believe Poile will match… maybe. I believed it more when the Preds still had a chance to sign Ryan Suter, but that ship has sailed. Weber was "in disbelief" and as discouraged as Poile was when Suter made the jump to Minnesota and according to Dreger, the team has been weighing their options in trade talks with four other teams, including the Flyers. Weber's feelings on Suter's departure are attached to this chain of events, and Poile seemingly had his doubts about being able to ink Weber to a long-term deal… otherwise, why would he be talking trade scenarios?

The other side of this? The Flyers may have done these guys a favor because this isn't a contract Weber was going to sign with Nashville. If Poile matches, he has his guy (one of them, at least) for the next 14 years. That's why the structure of this contract is so important. Homer wouldn't make this move if there was NO possibility that Weber could join the Flyers, would he?

I have to say, though… it makes you wonder how badly Weber wants out of Nashville if he just signed a 14-year offer sheet with a team who FUCKING TRADED THREE OF THEIR LONGEST CONTRACTS IN THE PAST YEAR ALONE has made quite a few… recently. 

The bottom line is that when news breaks like this, we're going to talk scenarios. Whatever is happening behind the scenes at this point doesn't matter. Because there's only one move before anything else can happen…

…Nashville either matches the offer sheet, or they don't.

Video: David Beckham Has No Idea Who Mike Richards Is

Kyle Scott - March 30, 2012

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Mike Richards has changed.

Earlier this year we brought to you his attendance at the premier of Twilight: The Seventhy-Fifth Movie About a Forlorn Hottie Chasing Vampires Through a Field. His Tweets to Justin Bieber. His appearance on NHL 36. And now this little segment with Cabbie Richards.

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The two Richards attended a Lakers-Suns game earlier this season. They sat courtside, just a few seats down from David Bekham, who had absolutely no idea who (Mike) Richards was, just like the rest of the 20,000 people in attendance (this is funny because last year Richie went looking for Becks at PPL Park on the same day that he had surgery). Kobe Bryant, however, pretended to be chummy with Richie: “He plays for the Kings. Yeah, I know that.” 

Meanwhile, it must be getting close to playoff time. Mike's teammate and brotastic buddy, Jeff Carter, is in a walking boot.

Video after the jump.

H/T (@DXFlyers), (@deifert5), and (@Amoyer4)

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David Wright is Still Butt Hurt Over 2007

Kyle Scott - March 1, 2012

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We're talking a lot about the 2007 Phillies of late.

Speaking to Andy McCullough of the Newark Star-Ledger (don’t shoot!), Mets third baseman David Wright gave his thoughts on MLB adding two extra Wild Card teams this season:

"That would have been nice five years ago." 


Sure, it would have been nice. But, in 2007, the 88-win Mets still would have missed the playoffs under MLB's new playoff format. The 89-win Padres would have been the extra Wild Card team, the third playoff team from the NL West.

Poor Mets, not even a grandfather clause could get that squad them into the postseason.

It doesn’t seem like that long ago, but it’s funny to think that the Phillies’ four-game sweep of the Mets in August of 2007 was essentially the start of this current run of success, which was brought on by a dominant offense. As an example, check out the scores from a six-game win streak which included that sweep of the Mets:

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That’s 50 runs in six games. 50

To put that in perspective, it took the Phillies 12 games to score 50 runs at the conclusion of last season, including the NLDS against the Cardinals. 

Anyway, Wright remembers 2007 quite well. And so do we.

David Boreanaz Practiced with the Flyers Today

Kyle Scott - November 30, 2011

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Photo courtesy of the Flyers

Guess which one's not the hockey player?

Phillies Beat Writer David Murphy Creates Hipster Blog, Rips Mike Missanelli

Kyle Scott - November 28, 2011

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I wonder if Murph ever redeemed his gift card from this McFadden's email…

Yes! One-sided media fight! Excellent.

A while back, after I made a comment about David Murphy’s Daily News Live smuggery, someone who knew Murph told me that he was a "meathead masquerading as an intellectual." Which is the worst kind of intellectual. From that point forward, I viewed all of Murphy’s articles and blog posts through that lens. Still, I often found his pithy thoughts, especially those on High Cheese, to be interesting and somewhat humorous in that I’m trying too hard but I’m usually able to hit the mark sort of way. His stuff is different from the 900 other Phillies beat writers, so it’s a breath of fresh, privileged air.

But Murph likes himself. A lot. 

So, now, he’s launched his own blog – here comes the freebie link from Philly’s best* – And, naturally, it only took him until his seventh post to lambaste Mike Missanelli, a Philly Media Network colleague.

*Voted, baby.

We use the term “colleague” loosely. Missanelli writes a weekly column in the Inquirer, and undoubtedly doesn’t leave his home to do so. Murph is a Phillies beat writer for the Daily News. They certainly don’t “work together,” and they might not even know each other, but their paychecks come from the same place (for those who prefer to watch the puppets instead of checking out the strings, the Inquirer and Daily News are owned by the same company). As such, Murph v. Miss joins Murph v. Gonzo, Bowen v. McLane, and Seravalli’s lousy sources v. Carchidi’s seemingly good ones in the League of Unfortunate Adversaries.*

*For realsies, the last thing and Co. needs is more intracompany feuds. One (both?) of their papers is (are?) dying, their website is lousy, and their tablet program (which they keep pushing– on sale today for $89!) is an unmitigated disaster. Apparently, they have only sold through half of their 5,000 trial tablets, and their entire test has been plagued by faulty devices, buggy apps and lousy customer service. Shouldn’t there be an editor somewhere saying “Hey! Stop critiquing each other… you leave that to Crossing Broad!”?

In taking apart Missanelli’s column (which appeared in yesterday’s Inquirer), Murph attacked “the writer," passively calling him an ass [indirectly] and a “novice writer,” among other not-so-friendly chides. 

I highlighted some, um, highlights from Murph’s lecture “workshop," providing some of my own feedback on his cheesy prose, where necessary.

Give it a little jump.

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David Akers Lost $3.7 Million in Ponzi Scheme

Kyle Scott - August 16, 2011

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Part of this story was reported earlier this year, when David Akers revealed that he had lost a lot of money investing with Triton Financial. Yesterday, Akers told a federal jury that he lost $3.7 million investing with the Austin-based company: [The Post Game]

Akers claims he got some bad advice from Kurt Barton, the former chief executive of the company. 

"I've had a lot of sleepless nights," Akers told the Austin-American Statesman. "This is my family's future. I said that to Kurt a lot of times. I said, 'Man I'm trusting in you.'" 

Prosecutors say Barton regularly lied to investors about where their money actually ended up; instead he built up a $50 million Ponzi scheme.


Sean Considine, Ty and Koy Detmer also had dealings with Barton. Sad.

[The Post Game]

H/T to Nick