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We Zaprudered the Eagles-Redskins Fight

Kyle Scott - September 22, 2014

Photo credit: Eric Hartline-USA TODAY Sports

Photo credit: Eric Hartline-USA TODAY Sports

It’s been a while since we’ve had the opportunity, but you’ve got to give the people what they want. Here now, Zaprudering the Eagles-Redskins melee.

 

It’s just your casual Nick Foles non-interception. This’ll be overturned.

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BAHWGOD SOMEONE JUST KILLED NICK FOLES!

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Bus 92 ran him over. A traffic camera captured the moment of impact.

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“YES! YES! WE KILLED A MAN!”

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“YES!”

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“YES!”

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“YES!”

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“Not so fast, my friend.”

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Riley Cooper and Trent Cole rush off to join Jason Peters in avenging Foles’ death, and in the process form the most ironic tag-team since John McClane and Zeus Carver. 

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“I”ll fight every Redskin here, bro!” 

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Video: Flyers and Rangers Fans BRAWL in Section 209

Kyle Scott - April 29, 2014

Playoffs, baby. Playoffs.

Another view after the jump. Continue Reading

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Video: Fights at Wing Bowl

Kyle Scott - January 31, 2014

There was a massive brawl in the second level. Someone finally posted video of it and another, smaller-scale scrum. Be sure to stick around for the lap dance at 3:10!

via YouTube

Chip Kelly: “We’re from Philadelphia and we fight”

Kyle Scott - December 23, 2013

“We’re from Philadelphia and we fight.” from Kyle Scott on Vimeo.

Chip Kelly dismisses media nonsense and provides you with a rallying cry for the ages: “We’re from Philadelphia and we fight.”

UPDATE: Get the t-shirt.

A Fight Broke Out at the Christmas Village Tree Lighting Ceremony in Love Park Tonight

Kyle Scott - December 4, 2013

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Christmas time. A time of cheer, a time of joy, a time to celebrate family, friends AND THAT FUCKING DOUCHEBAG NEXT TO YOU WITH THE GANG TATTOOS.

A fight broke out at the Christmas tree lighting in Love Park this evening. Mayor Nutter and other dignitaries were on-hand and so, too, was FOX Philly, whose cameras* captured a mild fracas just before the tree was lit: Continue Reading

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Flyers Hockey

Kyle Scott - November 1, 2013

[secondary video after the jump if that doesn’t play]

The Flyers beat the shit out of the Capitals tonight. Ray Emery skated down the ice, assaulted a man, and may go to jail. The crowd cheered. The bench cheered. Ed Snider probably cheered. Players high-fived on their way off the ice. Emery was named third star of the game. A good time was had by all at the Wells Fargo Center.

The Flyers lost 7-0. But they played Flyers hockey.

UPDATE:

Pat Sajak:

UPDATE 2:

Emery is a real asshole:

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We Zaprudered That Family Fight at the Eagles Game (Where’s the Security?)

Kyle Scott - September 23, 2013

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More video emerging from that family fight at the Eagles game Thursday night, and this one provides a much better look at what happened. It doesn’t appear that too many punches landed, but it went on for a while… and it took security forever to get there.

We pick up the action with the fight well underway:

To start:

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Don’t fuck with this girl

At around :06, we meet this guy…

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“Gimme an E!”

… a lone “event staff” member holding a “Go Eagles!” sign. He has no chance, but, dutifully, he keeps holding the sign high as long as he can (“elbow right angle and above the waist! elbow right angle and above the waist!“).

At :22, we meet This Fucking Guy. TFG escalates things by first finishing (important!) and then throw his drink into the pile:

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“Ice cold justice, biatch!”

He’ll later help break up the fight and shrug when people accuse him of making things worse.

Dejected after 25 seconds of trying, our spirit squader lets down his guard and heads off:

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“Gimme an… ah, fuck it.”

At around :39, we see someone wearing a sport coat and jeans pulling someone out of the pile:

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Undercover

He’s a plainclothed security guard, because he can be seen talking into his wrist in Eliot Shorr-Parks’ video from Friday:

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There’s either a microphone in his wrist, or he’s got a friend that nobody can see

This guy is half helping, grabbing – literally – the low-hanging fruit out of the pile. But there’s not much he can do without backup.

At around :50, we see a guy in a suit on the steps:

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“I have big hair and thick glasses– don’t FUCK with me. Also, how may I help better your experience this evening? Warm towel?”

He’s most likely part of the Eagles’ “concierge” staff, whose stated mission is to “provide guests with the highest quality sports and entertainment experience in a safe, clean, and friendly environment.” They’re doing a great job today.

At :54, we see this Justin Bieber looking motherfucker carrying what appears to be his seat as a keepsake from the melee. That, or he wants to murder somebody with it. He’s helped out of the ring by This Fucking Guy, whom we met earlier:

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“Drinks are cool, bro. But no steel chairs BAHWGOD!”

At 1:21, a thick dude wearing a grey Eagles jacket is allowed to enter the fracus and seems to be doing his best to break things up. Don’t know who he is, but he starts laying down the law real fast and might be a plainclothed security guard, too. Or he’s Hollis Thomas:

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“Get ’em, Tank.”

At 2:00, the most Philly woman ever: “Do me a favor, call the cops, you knucklehead! You frigging idiot!”

I’m told that both the “event staff” and “concierge” are employed by the Eagles and that they are, under no circumstances, allowed to get involved in fights or put their hands on guests. That task falls to CSC and Apex– both private security firms.

It’s unclear who the “plainclothed” guy (and Number Two) works for. We don’t see a uniformed security guard show up until 2:19 of the video, when a guy in a black “Apex Security” jacket steps in:

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Law here.

By this point the fight is already breaking up. The plainclothed guy or guys, the concierge and our peppy event staffer did the best they could (remember: they’re not allowed to touch people). But this fight needed more uniformed security guards, and it needed them to get there much faster.

Of course, the delay allowed for the Cupid Shuffle to serve as our soundtrack, which is pretty awesome.

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Here’s Better Video of That Massive (Family) Brawl at Lincoln Financial Field Last Night

Kyle Scott - September 20, 2013

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DON’T FUCK WITH THE GIRL IN THE WESTBROOK JERSEY

Nice job by Eliot-Shorr Parks of NJ.com to get this video out there. Love the press box commentary, too.

I’m told by security at The Linc that it was a family fight over an argument about Michael Vick and Nick Foles. John Clark heard that too. He says the entire family was ejected, but no one wanted to press charges… because they’re family.

Must have made for an awkward RV ride home.

More details here from Parks.

Video after the jump. Continue Reading

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