Posts for gonzo

Video: John Gonzalez and Marcus Hayes Get Heated with Each Other

Kyle Scott - February 28, 2013

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There are not many things I like about Marcus Hayes’ public persona. So it was very fulfilling to watch his hardened stubbornness get quasi eviscerated by John Gonzalez when the topic of rebounding in basketball came up. 

“Gravity and height– it’s a wonderful combination.” – Marcus Hayes

Give it a watch, after the jump.

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A New Year’s Roundup: Ilya Bryzgalov May Be Injured, a Media Reconciliation, Awkward Sheena Parveen Drawing, and More!

Kyle Scott - January 2, 2013

Hey there, new you! Feeling better in the new year? Working out more? Eating healthier? Being a better husband? Masturbating only twice per day? You look like a different person already. I mean, my Google Analytics still says that you’re slacking in your dead-end job and refreshing CB 12 times per day wondering when, in the hell, I’m going to update. But that’s OK– you ran on an elliptical this morning, and that makes you a better you in 2013. 

That was all Asshole for Happy New Year! 

This site will be covering the Eagles’ coaching search ad nauseam… the hockey lockout may be ending soon… and there's only six weeks until pitchers and catchers report. So there will finally be things to talk and write about.

Here are some nuggets I missed over the Jrue Holidays (who had 26 points and 10 assists in a Sixers win over the Lakers last night):

– Ilya Bryzgalov has left his Russian team, CSKA. The reason was unclear initially, but it now appears that Bryz is injured. It was first reported – by the most Russian reporter ever, Ruslan Salikhov – that Bryz said he was leaving Russia because the “lockout is ending.” But when Daily News beat reporter Frank Seravalli wrote a story based on that "quote," Bryz retweeted it and called it a lie: 

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Though Bryz was the second Flyer to call Seravalli a liar this non-season (Ed Snider did so in November), you can only really blame Seravalli and the Daily News for blindly citing a Russian reporter with under 300 followers on Twitter. Quotes often get lost in translation, and this isn’t the first time it has happened regarding a local player who speaks a different language.

An updated report from R Sport says that the reason for Bryz leaving CSKA is, most likely, because Bryz believes in aliens that the lockout “should be over pretty soon.” Another report says Bryz wore out his welcome. But CSKA says Bryz left for North America to get treatment on an upper-body injury, and will return when he’s healed. And that’s not good.

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Photo: Berlin Ice Bears

On the other side of this unfortunate hockey coin, Danny Briere signed a contract extension with the Berlin Ice Bears. [UPDATE: He has an injured wrist and will be out 2-3 weeks.]We’re assuming there’s a clause for him to return to the Flyers if there is a season. Claude Giroux, who was with Briere in Berlin but returned due to injury, is reportedly working out in Canada. 

Here’s the latest lockout update from TSN.

– Last night, Colleen Wolfe tweeted this photo of David Murphy and John Gonzalez, her fiancé, bonding over what appears to be a Busch Light and perhaps a Fuzzy Naval.

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If you’ll recall, the scriptuals had one of the best media Twitter feuds of all-time and, later, awkwardly appeared beside each other on Daily News Live (and we made a video about it).

(Cheap) Beer Summit.

– Jason Babin, still a dick, via (@FlyersNation):

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– Someone drew Sheena Parveen this hot hilarious horrifically horrifying, I want to store you in a meat locker and eat you caricature. She retweeted it:

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– Our friend Tony Hegedus, who works for Men’s Health, says that the magazine voted Philadelphia the 99th worst city for men, based on health (received an F), quality of life (F), and fitness (D). Remember, folks: new year, new you. 

Your Drinker’s Philadelphia CB Six Pack: Gonzo v. Murph (The Confrontation), Hunter Pence Eats with Sheena Parveen, and More

Kyle Scott - February 21, 2012

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The DNL crew sprung for beach bar chairs this week

1) Worlds collide.

Lots of stuff on Daily News Live tonight. First and foremost, Twitter war heroes John Gonzalez and David Murphy made their first joint appearance on the show, which was broadcast live from Clearwater. 

In case you are unawares, Murph v. Gonzo was our all-time favorite Twitter war (Les Bowen punching Jeff McLane is actually in a class of its own– Swinging Scribes). You can read all about it here.

Awkward. I need an adult.

Got to again give Gonzo the slight edge, though: He broke the ice and busted out the brilliant mark that down on your iPad, Barkann line– an unintentional hybrid of suck it, Trabek and Van Wilder’s write that down, all while paying homage to Barkann's iconic Gen 1 iPad. +2.

2) Moving on (which I think we can all agree is what’s needed here). Lee participated in DNL’s Quick Six segment. One problem: Lee’s hamster operates at the speed of a turtle on Xanies, making quick six a mathetmatical impossibility. But he did give us this when asked how Cole Hamels won last year's hitting contest among starting pitchers:

"I don’t know, I only had the highest average, more home runs, more RBIs, more hits, a stolen base. I don’t know. I lost."


I agree. How, in the hell, does one hit two home runs, gallop the bases and piss excellence, then not win the award? Please.

3) CSN’s other big announcement (I’m telling you– DNL had substance today) was… Gregg Murphy being added as Phillies sideline reporter for all home and away games on CSN, Comcast Network, and MyPHL 17. via the press release:

PHILADELPHIA – (February 21, 2012) – Comcast SportsNet today announced that the network’s anchor/reporter Gregg Murphy has been added to the Phillies broadcast team as a field reporter for the 2012 season. Murphy will join Tom McCarthy, Gary Matthews and Chris Wheeler, beginning with Comcast SportsNet’s broadcast of the Saturday, March 3rd Spring Training game featuring the Phillies and Yankees.


I actually like this move. Yeah, we’re going to miss continued success and I generally prefer my sideline reporters to be females sporting endless stilts… but Murphy is good and will certainly give us more than Sarge.

And as some of you asked, no, this doesn't mean Sarge is leaving the team, just not doing the on-field stuff.

4) LETS MAKE FUN OF THE METS. Deadspin has a rather in depth post on how Madoff’s money ran the team: [Deadspin]

The Mets chose not to pay their premiums on insurance for injured players, instead putting that money into a Madoff account, and pay players directly from the returns.

And then there's the famous Bobby Bonilla contract. Instead of paying him the $5.9 million owed on the last year of his deal, the Mets bought Bonilla out—and agreed to pay him $1.2 million annually from 2011 to 2035. It's not the only deferred contract the Mets handed out, and now we know why: they were investing that long-term money with Madoff. Wilpon and Katz figured the Madoff money would cover the contracts and make them a tidy profit.


The Mets headline translator is worth checking out, too.

5) Five other roles Shane Victorino should pursue

6) Finally, tonight (Tuesday) at 11, Hunter Pence eats Sheena Parveen eats with Sheena Parveen. This is absolutely going to end in more CB posts, I promise.

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Just in case you were wondering (I was), Pence, who is rumored to be no more with Playmate Shannon Jamesfollows only one Philly media person. One. Sheena Parveen:

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Let’s. Go. Eat.

H/T to (@irollrocks)

John Gonzalez and David Murphy Whip It Out to See Whose Pen is Bigger

Kyle Scott - April 18, 2011


… or keyboard. Or whatever dick reference is appropriate.

Let’s break it down.

Yesterday, Inquirer columnist and former 97.5 host John Gonzalez wrote an article about booing, which – rightfully – blasted the square media-types who consistently feel the need to call us out for doing something we’ve done for the last 50 years. In the screed, Gonzo took aim at his Philly Newspapers (or whatever they're now calling the company that resides at 400 N. Broad) colleague, Daily News Phillies beat writer David Murphy, who writes the “High Cheese” blog on

That's part of the problem. Many media types I know hold the fans in contempt. It's sad when, say, a cheese-heavy local baseball blogger thinks he knows it all but fails to see himself for what he is: a glorified stenographer with a bloated ego and a sweet gig. It's the misguided elitism that rankles. Reporters don't consume sports the same way fans do, and few of them have made much of an effort to understand your perspective.


– gasps - Like that scene in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, where Angelo tells Judge Doom he’s seen a rabbit.  He didn’t really just do that, did he?

This is where things got good… after the jump.

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