Posts for hartnell

Your Monday Morning Roundup: Humongous Big and Loony Edition!

Kyle Scott - March 4, 2013

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Pic via Amanda Rykoff

A bouncer at a strip club once told me that "crack kills." 

Let’s hit it!

 

But first, a word from our sponsors:

– Join us on Wednesday night at 8:30 for PRE-2000’S JIM CARREY QUIZZO at Drinker’s Tavern in Old City (2nd and Market). Details here

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– With March Madness coming up, there’s not a better time to follow Godfather Locks (@GodfatherLocks) and take 30% off weekly picks with code “Crossing.” 

– Speaking of March Madness, our friends at Philly Phaithful have a great promotion going on: three different t-shirts on sale each day for up to 33% off:

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Shop here.

Meet Ben Revere at the Sports Vault in the King of Prussia Mall on Saturday, April 20 from 11-12:30. Or Simon Gagne at the Sports Vault in the King of Prussia Mall on Saturday March 16 from 4:30-6. Details and tickets here.

Girls. Naked ones. Ones you may know. Check out Girls of Philly for over 10 years of naked local girls. Link is suitable for work… but after that, you’re on your own.

– Please welcome our new sponsor, Tour Golf Revolution. Want to golf like a pro and be part of a competition? Must check this out. Very cool. 

 

The roundup:

– On Saturday, we ran a story about Andrew Bynum allegedly throwing a shot glass and (somewhat jokingly) threatening to kill the friend of a CB reader at Buffalo Billiards on Friday night. A few unverified accounts have come in since. One person, claiming that he worked at Buffalo Billiards, at first offered to clarify some details, but then decided against it when he told me that CB has become too gossipy (…). But two commenters added the following:

The guy I was playing against was quick witted and very sarcastic so someone getting flustered and pissed with him isn't hard to understand. Bynum minded his own most of the night and latched on to two girls from the get-go and stayed with them even through his interesting departure. (Maybe that's part of his ladies closing tactic).

The guy asked if he could take a shot and told the girls and Bynum not to move for a sec so Bynum flicked his stick. The guy turned around and they both laughed and shot one liners back and forth. The dude went to shoot again and Bynum went with the flick move once again. They were still laughing but I did specifically hear the guy say jokingly, "don't make me cross check you like the real sport that wins at Wells Fargo". Neither team is winning so not the best line but still Bynum didn't like it and when he went to shoot for a third time Bynum made a gun out of his fingers and pushed down on his head. The guy said something along the lines of you're really not going to let me finish this game and Bynum said "you wanna play the death game?" Multiple times and said he has his boys and they can go back to his place and play whenever they want. Then he decided to spell out K-I-L-L… Show off. The guy said what do you think my answer is to that? And Bynum threw the glass and squared him up. Good shot if you ask me. He was covered from collar to bottom of chest. The dude did indeed yell stop the music that's the first shot Bynum made in Philly.

 

And…

I was there last night (my tweet referenced above) and can confirm that Bynum was there alone, and seemed to be going back and forth between 2 different groups of chicks. I was not near the pool table while the confrontation started but as me and my buddy were leaving at like 1:50am we caught the tail end of the argument and basically told Bynum to leave as it wasn't worth it for him. He didn't leave with any girls as someone mentioned in a comment earlier. He walked out with us, and was still really frustrated about those dudes trying to rile him up. As we were half a block away, a drunk blonde chickenhead ran out of the bar and was screaming down the block to him about how he was leaving alone (I suppose implying that no one cared about him and highlighting that he was a loser for coming out by himself). At which point the cops across the street got on their megaphone and told her to grow up and go back inside. Bynum walked with us and then went into a huka bar where he said he knew the owner. Didn't see much wrong doing from the big man, just a couple of guys who thought they were cool talking trash to an NBA player – end of story.

 

Reader Dominic, a reliable loon spotter, sent along this update:

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– Meanwhile, over the Constitution Center, where the Sixers held a disaster of a press conference to present the players from their breathtaking trade, a devotional to Bynum:

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via (@KennyTLP)

Yet somehow he is still Plan A.

– Very important nerd update: Bryz’s Star Wars mask has been updates to include Yoda holding his proper green lightsaber:

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– Speaking of Propper, I was on Propper Hockey last week with Brian Propp and Lou Tilley. You can watch it here.

– Philly native, sports fan and Eagles season ticket holder Jim Cramer, host of CNBC’s Mad Money (I love this show), was tweeting from all around Philly this weekend:

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Modern Family cast members trapped in an elevator. Really.

– Last week, Dennis Rodman met with North Korean leader and Chicago Bulls fan Kim Jong Un, who told Rodman that he wants Obama to call him. This, too, is real. And now for America’s next trick… we’ll be sending Snooki to meet with Ahmadinejad, who wants to exterminate Jews and destroy the West but is a lover of fat, drunken pussy.

Here’s a trolling article about soccer in Sunday's Inquirer. “To me, soccer is much ado about not enough. The teams run around for an hour and a half and if the fans are lucky, their team may – hold your breath! – score a goal or two.”

Meanwhile, Freddy Adu is the most predictable disaster ever.

Best buzzer ever.

The Apple iWatch is going to happen.

Videos. After the jump, watch Brendan Shanahan explain Harry Z’s suspension and see highlights from the Flyers Wive Carnival courtesy of our friend Dave Grzybowski from La Salle TV.

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Below Average (Still)

Kyle Scott - February 26, 2013

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Michael Leighton special

We still really high on Bryz, or is that whole thing over? No one will argue that the Flyers have a passable defense… but these are facts: In his last nine games, Bryz has given up 3, 4, 2, 4, 0, 5, 4, 3, and 3 goals. And he was pulled from two of those games. He’s 30th in the league in goals against (2.79) and 34th in save percentage (.900).

Are we still ready to declare him the Flyers MVP, or is he just another average Flyers goalie in a long line of average Flyers goalies?

While we’re on the topic: Jerry Gaul over at Philly.com discovered an interesting quirk with Siri. Behold:

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Screen grabs via Philly.com 

Someone at Apple is a Flyers fan. Or not.

Scott Hartnell, leader?

Q: You guys had six chances to get to .500 and almost all the games have gone the wrong way so far. That has to be frustrating. 

A: We’re not going to make the playoffs if we keep playing the way we are. We talked about it after the game. If we don’t learn fast, as in Wednesday night, it’s going to be a long season. Guys have to realize that. Every point counts, game 20 or game 30. We have to wake it up.

 

Thankfully, JVR, Captain Cliché, didn’t torch Luke Schenn last night (like he did a few weeks ago in Toronto), but his team did get the 4-2 victory and he did manage to, as usual, exhibit a negative (as in less than zero) personality when speaking to the media after the game:

Q: What do you think of the crowd reaction to you? There was some love there and some signs. 

 I didn’t hear anything, so I don’t know. I saw some of those, those were funny. That’s Philly for you. There are a lot of passionate fans here. There are a lot of great people in the city that support this team and you would have to be crazy to say you don’t appreciate that stuff. It was pretty cool to see.

Q: In warm ups, you were the last guy off the ice, is that your normal routine?

I did my same routine so I didn’t do anything different. 

Q: You have seen teams here not come out. Is that how they jump you here?

That is definitely one of the staples here, using the passion of the crowd to start the game of and getting yourself in the game. I think, when they do that, they have success.

Q: Did you talk to any of your former teammates before the game? Any wagers?

No, I didn’t talk to anyone today before the game. I saw Jody Shelley yesterday and I always enjoy catching up with him. These guys have a lot of talent over here and their right in the mix. It’s a short season, so we will see what happens next for all of us.

 

He’s never going to find a woman who respects him.

Join us tomorrow night at 8:30 at Chickie’s and Pete’s Play2 for an NHL 13 tournament. No signup ahead of time required.

Finally, CSN mic’d up Zac Rinaldo. The video is short, but pretty good. See it, after the jump.

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Your Thursday Morning Roundup: La Salle Beats Butler, Brayden Schenn Suspended, Scott Hartnell Hurt, Lousy Inquirer Writing

Kyle Scott - January 24, 2013

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First thing’s first: La Salle knocked off ninth-ranked Butler last night at the Tom Gola Arena. It was the Explorers’ first win over a top ten team since 1980. You’ll have to excuse the video highlights… the game wasn’t on TV. 

Our friends over at Phila Hoops have more. Court storming video from them is after the jump. I would sing the fight song, like I did yesterday for my alma mater, but I don’t know it. One of you La Salle folks should feel free to do so in the comments. 

That’s the good news. Now the bad news.

Brayden Schenn was suspended one game for his hit against Anton Volchenkov on Tuesday night. Brendan Shanahan, the league’s czar of discipline and monotone video explanations, tells us why here. Cue shield!

Scott Hartnell will be out indefinitely with a left foot injury, the Flyers announced last night. Hartnell got hit by a Kimmo Timonen shot in the third period of the Devils game. Paul Holmgren gave this most informative of statements:

"Scott will be out indefinitely with a left foot injury. We will know more on this within a day or two as we await results of tests."

 

Thanks, Paul. CSN’s Sarah Baicker, who dutifully wrote about the injury before heading over to Chickie’s and Pete’s for this week’s taping of the Great Sports Debate last night (airs tonight at 7 on Comcast Network!), has more.

Any other misery? Not really. But Forbes ranked the Sixers as the 20th most valuable franchise in the NBA, estimating their worth to be $418 million. That’s… not as good as having the third most wins in NBA history, but it’s up two spots from where they were in 2012. HOW? Josh Harris paid $287 million for the franchise in 2010, and now Forbes is telling me that the team is worth $418 million, $104 million higher than their valuation from last year ($314 million)? I’m sure there are some league revenues that come into play, explaining a substantial portion of the change, but you’d never know it from awful sports writing like this, from the Inquirer’s John Mitchell:

While the 76ers’ fortunes have gone south on the basketball court, they are standouts on the ledger.

 

STANDOUTS ON THE LEDGER, YOU SAY? THEY’RE IN THE FOURTH LARGEST MARKET IN THE COUNTRY BUT ONLY THE 20TH MOST VALUABLE FRANCHISE. OH, AND THEY'RE OPERATING AT A LOSS, ACCORDING TO FORBES. YEAH, LET’S GIVE THEM A PARTICIPATION PRIZE.

The Sixers saw their value in 2012 boosted by 19 percent increase in their first year under Harris.  The Sixers reached the second round of the playoffs for the first time since 2003.

 

YES, AND IT SNOWED THIS WEEK AFTER TEMPERATURES DROPPED. SO WHAT? CAUSATION, JOHN, CAUSATION. I DON’T THINK YOU WOULD MAKE A GOOD LAWYER.

Following the acquisition of center Andrew Bynum the Sixers reportedly doubled their season ticket base heading into what has thus far been a very disappointing season.

 

HOW ABOUT THINKING FOR, LIKE, TWO SECONDS BEFORE WRITING WORDS. YES, THEY SOLD A FEW MORE SEASON TICKETS. BUT THAT DOES NOT ACCOUNT FOR EVEN CLOSE TO A $100 MILLION JUMP IN REVENUE, LET ALONE WORTH.

Say the average season ticket is – aggressively – priced at $100. Multiply that by 41. Times 3,700, the season ticket increase reported by Mitchell in September. 100 x 41 = 4,100. 4,100 x 3,700 = $15.1 million. $15.1 million. And that’s top-line. The impact on the team’s overall value would be much less, especially when any reasonable person would look at those number and say, “Hey, those are all based on one guy, WHO STILL HASN’T PLAYED A GAME FOR THE TEAM.”

I am so glad John Mitchell of the Inquirer is here to re-write press releases for us. Even more glad that the Philadelphia Business Journal is here to report ALL THE WRONG NUMBERS. Keep up the good work, Philadelphia scriptuals.

Video of La Salle students and some guy dressed as a Whoopee Cushion rushing the court, after the jump.

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Hartnell and Parveen, Sittin’ in a Tree

Kyle Scott - January 12, 2013


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Hartnell DTF! 
 

Not since that time NBC 10 sent Sheena Parveen on an awkward lunch date with goofball Hunter Pence have we had a story about, well, Sheena Parveen going on a date with a goofball local athlete.

Dan of Gross of Philly.com was informed by a tipster, who says he works at the Irish Pub, that Hartnell and Parveen were having drinks at the bar late Wednesday night. Doing his usual due diligence, Gross found that it wasn’t the first time the pair had beverages together: [Philly.com

Parveen was also seen hanging with Hartnell in the VIP area at Dusk at Caesars in November after the Operation Hat Trick charity game he organized at Boardwalk Hall to benefit Hurricane Sandy relief efforts.

 

This is huge, folks. Hartnell’s apparent courtship of Parveen puts him in rarified Philly-cock-swinging air once inhaled by the likes of Pat Burrell and, yes, John Bolaris (back in his Lauren Hart days). This story also answers the question: How does Scott Hartnell celebrate being named the fifth hottest hockey player by Cosmo

BY TAKING OUT THE CROWN JEWEL OF PHILLY TV PERSONALITIES, is the answer. 

What’s more is that the decision to go to the IP is a move ripped from the pages of Burrell’s playbook. It’s like the sex manual that Kevin’s brother talked about in American Pie 2– this book that some guys brought back from Amsterdam in the early eighties. What to do with your tongue, things like that. And each year, it got passed on to one East student who was worthy of it.

Only one local athlete at a time is privy to the book's contents– things like, "cab companies quickest to Irish Pub, Public House and Drinker’s," "how much get home money to give in the morning" (it’s commensurate with her education), and “cunilingizing a TV anchor.” HARTNELL’S GOT THAT BOOK! Not saying he did those things with Parveen, but he has the book. Jeff Carter had it before him (Hartnell presumably skipped the chapter about how to start a rumor that you’re nailing your teammate’s wife). John Clark before that. Darren Daulton back in the day. But now it’s Scottie’s. His to do with what he will. Perhaps he’ll marry a Hooter’s girl, dye his hair blonde, or ride down Broad in celebration on a Clydesdale-pulled wagon. The possibilities are endless.

Scott Hartnell is the Fifth Hottest Player in Hockey, Scientific Survey Says

Kyle Scott - January 8, 2013


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Cosmo says he’s hot… and Hartnell’s down with that

OH MY GOD HE’S SO SEXY IN SO MANY WAYS, all the ladies say.

Well, at least that’s what readers of Cosmo say. The magazine's list, Hot Hockey Players, unveiled to thirsty lady loins everywhere today, ranks Hartnell fifth in the league. His position is justified thrustly… er, thusly:

You might recognize this left wing from his cameo in This Is Forty. Or from scoping out his sexy red curls on the ice. 

 

Claude Giroux didn’t crack the top 30 (which makes at least one girl very sad), nor did any other current Flyers. Jaromir Jagr finished 30th, presumably thanks to Cosmo’s more mature, perhaps bushy, Eastern European readers.  

A few other names of note: Jeff Carter, our former sword-swinging sex machine turned Stanley Cup champion– he finished second (Mike Green and his Gerber face finished first). And Sidney Crosby– 15th, somehow (his inclusion was mandated by the league). 

If a sudden influx of estrogen allows you to click, you’ll be able to see the full list… hither.

The next time I see a feminist nut complaining about men objectifying female athletes – like the luscious Alex Morgan – I'm going to spam them links to the descriptions for every player on Cosmo's list. Just for sport.

H/T to Sarah Baicker

UPDATE: Scott Hartnell, Dan Carcillo to Participate in Charity Game in Atlantic City

Kyle Scott - November 15, 2012

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Need some hockey in your life? I do. And while I’m not particularly a fan of exhibition sporting events… this may have to do, for now.

Scott Hartnell, Brad Richards and Dan Carcillo will take part in a charity game in Atlantic City for Operation Hat Trick on Saturday, November 24, according to Tim Panaccio. The game will be sponsored by Caesar’s and played at Boardwalk Hall. Proceeds will go toward Sandy relief. 

The last time we remember Car Bomb being in Atlantic City, he fired out this finger-banging Tweet (we have some inside info on that, unfortunately), so who knows what can happen this time.

I’m guessing other current and former Flyers will participate, too.

UPDATE: Tickets go on-sale today at 10 a.m. on TicketmasterMany current and former Flyers are playing: Bobby Ryan, Kimmo Timonen, Braydon Coburn, Dan Carcillo, James van Riemsdyk, Justin Williams, Simon Gagne, Ville Leino, Steve Eminger, Jeff Halpern, Brian Boyle, Jody Shelley and James Neal. Tickets go on-sale today.

Where’s Scott Hartnell?!

Kyle Scott - October 15, 2012


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At Xfinity Live! PBR! Riding the mechanical bull!
 

Why go overseas and play hockey when you can just stay home, get drunk, and party away a six-year, $28.5 million contract? No really, why?

Video after the jump.

H/T to reader Brandon for sending along

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Signs of a Lockout: This Looks Like Scott Hartnell and Peter Luukko Tailgating Before the Eagles Game

Kyle Scott - October 15, 2012

image from mobilwi.typepad.com

After posting this pic in the Monday Afternoon Roundup, I noticed that the person talking to Scott Hartnell looked familiar. Upon closer inspection, it appears to be Peter Luukko, Comcast Spectacor COO. 

As best as I understand it, teams and players are allowed to have contact during the lockout, but not in any sort of official or business capacity. And judging by the beverage in Luukko’s hand and Hartnell’s 90-degree elbow bend, it seems that this was nothing more than casual conversation, which I'm sure touched on the current work stoppage completely avoided the current labor dispute.

Hartnell, of course, has nothing to be worried about. The Flyers signed him to a six-year extension before the lockout.

Reader Christian, who took the picture, also said that Kimmo Timonen and “Hatcher” were there. But that’s hard to tell from the picture.

UPDATE: Hartnell also rode the bull at PBR:

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pic via reader Scott

And of course, if you have video, we'd love to see it.