Posts for lies

The Amaro Lies: You F%#@ing Fibber You

Kyle Scott - March 21, 2012

Ruben_amaro_st_pete_beach_photo

Photo courtesy St. Pete Beach Photo

Last year we started a series called The Amaro Lies, a melodramatic theme in which, I think, we only stuck with for two posts. 

Make it three.

The premise is simple: Ruben Amaro lies. It’s usually for the good of the team, or in playing his trademarked game of dick-measuring poker, but he’s a fibber. A deceptive scalawag who will look a reporter in the eye and take sheer pleasure in telling him complete and utter bullshit. He probably enjoys it more than is socially acceptable. I could see him giving the birds and the bees talk to his nieces and making up some shit to get them laughed away from their first coed experience when they show up to Bobby’s dorm room carrying a dreamcatcher and a two-foot tall wooden gnome. It's not because he wants youngsters to remain chaste, but because it’s fucking funny. He seems like that type of guy. 

Anyway, he’s already vacillated (+2) wildly this spring. Presented without comment:

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The Amaro Lies

Kyle Scott - June 13, 2011

Ruben_amaro

He looks charming and honest

Welcome to our new running installment (?), which chronicles Ruben Amaro's quest to seduce a buxom blonde as part of a Lifetime mini-series land another right-handed bat.

Last week, we told you that Amaro said the Phillies weren't going to make any major moves this year. We think he's lying. Buster Olney, with your daily trade rumor:

Rival evaluator says the Phillies are already looking at right-handed hitting outfielders. Speculation: Josh Willingham, Michael Cuddyer?

 

Mmm hmm. Mmm hmm.

I see you Rube, checkin' out righties. Checkin' out righties.

If this does follow the cadence of a Lifetime movie, Rube will start out by sheepishly sending us flowers and denying his involvement with righties. But, before long, he'll start leaking trade rumors, taking late-night calls on his Blackberry, and beating us into submission with harsh verbal abuse. It's at this point that we'll either cry to our friends… or try to kill him. Either way, we'll come out of this hating men.