Posts for marlins

Ichiro Could Get Hit #3,000 in Philly, But He Wouldn’t Be the First

Jim Adair - July 15, 2016

At the start of this season, Ichiro Suzuki was 65 hits away from the immortal 3,000. With only 91 hits in 398 at-bats last year, it seemed unlikely Ichiro could reach the mark. He’s 10 away.

As it stands now, Ichiro is only the third player in baseball history to record 2990 hits, 500 stolen bases, and a career batting average of .310 or better. The other two, Eddie Collins and Ty Cobb, have been dead for 65 and 55 years, respectively. If his career ended today, Ichiro’s .335 batting average in his age-42 year would be the best for a player of that age (or older) with at least 50 ABs. But that’s not what’s notable here. Coming out of the ASB, Ichiro’s Marlins have four games against the Cardinals. Then, they come here for four. It’s possible that Ichiro could notch hit #3,000 in Philadelphia, but he wouldn’t be the first.

On June 9, 1914, Honus Wagner became the fourth member of the 3,000 hit club when he hit a double against the Phillies at the Baker Bowl. It’s the only 3,000th hit the city of Philadelphia has ever seen (either for a player or in the city). Other towns have been much more lucky.

The Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome in Minneapolis saw three such hits (Eddie Murray and Cal Ripken on the road, Dave Winfield at home). In all, 20 cities have bore witness to the feat, with Anaheim, Boston, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Detroit, and New York catching it twice. Anaheim Stadium, New Yankee Stadium, and Detroit’s old Navin Field (Tiger Stadium) got two a piece. Of the 29 3000th hits, only 12 came on the road. Ichiro would make it 30 and 13.

If Ichiro isn’t able to get 10 hits in St. Louis, he’ll have next Monday through Thursday to try to finish the job here. In his small sample size at CBP, Ichiro is 16 for 45. You’ll probably want to be there.

[All numbers and data from Baseball Reference]

Marlins Fan Abandons Kid in Geeky Wagon to Retrieve Baseball

Kyle Scott - March 11, 2014

This Marlins fan left his young son in what is apparently an Oregon Trail themed wagon when he went to retrieve a ground rule double at the Mets-Marlins spring training game yesterday.

Three thoughts:

1) Strange dichotomy of fathering here. One one hand, this guy just taught his son the value of balls that go into the stands and that you retrieve them at any cost, even your own son’s life.* That’s good parenting. The lesson will stick with the kid longer than his whiplash. On the other hand… he brought his son to a baseball game in a shaded wagon. He’s just asking to get him beat up him later in life. I don’t even know the kid and I kind of want to kick his ass.

2) Mom. Is. Mad.

3) Jorts and sneakers.

*My Dad taught me a similar lesson at age 3 when he knocked me off a pier while he threw a minnow to a passing seagull. Always feed the birds, is what I came away with.

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Hey, Let’s Make Fun of the Nats and Marlins

Kyle Scott - February 11, 2013

Yes, let’s.

While I’ll willingly acknowledge that the season ticket renewal deadline extension notices* the Phillies keep sending my father and I are a sign of decreased demand at CBP this year (the Phillies have sold more than 3,000 fewer season tickets for 2013), it still may not as bad as the issues plaguing some of our NL East friends.



After selling their entire team to the Blue Jays, many expected that the Marlins would play in front of HUNDREDS of fans this season. But perhaps initial assumptions were too high.

Here is a photo of the line for single-game Marlins tickets, which went on-sale Saturday:

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via (@joecapMARLINS)

And the concession stand from the Marlins’ “winter warmup” event:

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via (@clarkspencer)

Frightening. Both of those photos come via this Yahoo! article, which includes this startling statement:

The Marlins might have more players at camp (74) than fans who showed up to buy single-game tickets on the first day they were available. Seriously! 


We are the Marlins. Go Fish!



No doubt that the baseball team in Washington will see its attendance increase this season on the heels of their horrific NLDS choke… but don’t expect demand to outpace supply. They’re still giving away free tickets:

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via (@getzy89)

Of course, this is a far cry from the BOGO on season tickets the Nationals had going last year. So we applaud their progress there. 

*No, we haven’t renewed yet. Not sure we will. It doesn’t make a ton of sense to lock into 16 games, half of which wind up getting traded in or sold for a different date, when you can almost always get tickets below face value on the secondary market (yes, Crossing Broad Tickets). The playoff guarantee is an issue… but with the money saved during the season, you can splurge on jacked up postseason tickets.

The Marlins are Trading Their Entire Roster to the Blue Jays

Kyle Scott - November 13, 2012

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I guess that whole stockpiling thing didn’t work out so well for the Miami Marlins. According to reports from Ken Rosenthal and Jon Morosi, they are sending just about their entire team to Toronto in exchange for slop.

Here’s what’s known so far: Josh Johnson, Mark Buerhle, Jose Reyes, John Buck and Emilio Bonifacio, or some combination thereof, are heading to Canada. Coming the Marlins’ way? Yunel Escobar, Adeiny Hechavarria, Henderson Alvarez and Justin Nicolino.

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This is not completed yet, and Bud Selig may be hard pressed not to nix this nonsense, but these are the reports. What a wonderful day for Canada, and therefore, of course, the world.

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Grab Bag: Cameras May Have Caught a Pair of Painted Breasted at Marlins Park on Monday Night and Greg Dobbs Stole Chase Utley’s Glove Last Night

Kyle Scott - August 15, 2012

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Second base at Marlins Park has become a bit of an attraction the past two nights. No, it’s not because it’s been stepped on by baserunners for the first time since May. Rather, we’ve been treated to a couple of odd scenes.

First up, Juan Pierre and the topless go-go dancer.

When Leon made a bit of a baserunning gaff on Monday night, which left him stranded on second when he should have been at third, cameras focused in on our favorite throwback slap-hitter while Chris Wheeler pontificated about something. I’ve long said that the only thing that could kill a raging boner* is the sound of Wheels’ voice and, unfortunately, we were given the chance to test that theory during this sequence.

Reader Michaeldabeast5273, noticed what appeared to be a pair of breasts just over Leon's shoulder:

Upon further inspection, those do, in fact, appear to be a pair of breasts. But they’re likely painted. That’s the Marlins’ Clevelander Bar, which, for the low low price of $100, affords hardcore baseball fans the opportunity to watch the game from field level while staring at painted titties. It’s… well… genius. Like, no way the Phillies’ half-cocked sellout streak ends at 257 games if there was a set of jumbo Ds just off Domonic Brown’s camera-facing right shoulder. No chance. Even Dan Baker could have had some fun with it, inserting awkward inflections into an announcement usually reserved for the 1 a.m. time slot at a Delaware Ave. strip club: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the right field area, Tatyana’s mammaries! 

Anyway, the Marlins have bodypainted slores dancing the night away, and we’re pretty sure CSN cameras caught some of the action.

*No reasonable person would get a boner from this, but it's the closest we've come to testing that theory.

And last night, after Greg Dobbs flied out to left field using one of his vintage majestic swings that finishes with him looking like a rhythmic gymnast, the former Phillie decided to swipe Chase Utley’s glove as he rounded second while taken his worn route to the dugout:

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Marlins Manager Ozzie Guillen Suspended Five Games

Kyle Scott - April 10, 2012

Oh those crazy Marlins…

Ozzie Guillen, who flew home today – during an off-day in his team's series with the Phillies – has been suspended for five games for his comments about Fidel Castro, according to ESPN.

Oh Those Crazy Marlins

Kyle Scott - April 9, 2012

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Perhaps the top underlying subplot in the NL East this year (besides the number of Nationals who wind up sticking their foot in their mouth) is the zaniness that is the Miami Marlins, the Phillies' opponent for today's home opener.

On Friday, we told you about Ozzie Guillen’s alcoholism and owner Jeffrey Loria’s ridiculous cake. But today, things get even wackier for those Hispanic Fish.

1) Ozzie Guillen on CUBAN DICTATOR FIDEL CASTRO: [Miami Herald]

“I respect Fidel Castro,” Guillén is quoted as saying in the online article. “You know why? Many people have tried to kill Fidel Castro in the last 60 years, yet that [SOB] is still there.”


After an obvious response from Marlins management, Guillen was forced to soften his stance: 

“I’m against the way he [Castro] treats people and the way [he has treated] his country for a long time. I’m against that 100 percent,” he said. “…The way this man [has been] treating people for the last 60 years.”


2) During their home opener last Wednesday, one stadium bar – The Clevelander – afforded patrons the opportunity to WATCH NAKED CHICKS GET BODYPAINTED. Let me repeat that: THE CLEVLANDER BAR, LOCATED INSIDE THE MARLINS' NEW STADIUM, AFFORDED YOU, THE BASEBALL FAN, THE OPPORTUNITY TO WATCH NAKED WOMEN GET BODYPAINTED. 

The women, sadly, had pasties on… but that hardly diminished the event:

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[Our friends at Busted Coverage put together an entire gallery]

3) The Los Marlinos traveled to Philly in style (?) yesterday: [The Fish Pond

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That there is Giancarlo Stanton, Randy Choate, Ricky Nolasco and Josh Johnson.

Welcome to Miami.

The Ridiculous Marlins

Kyle Scott - April 6, 2012

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The Los Marlinos are going to be a lot of fun this year. I have no idea if they will be any good*, but they’re certainly going to be entertaining.

They play in a spaceship.

It has a Kristin Davis-vagina-like home run sculpture.

Jose Reyes. 

A bananas logo.

This unfortunate unofficial theme song.

And Ozzie Guillen.

Ah yes, Ozzie Guillen– he’s a drunk, apparently. Here's what he told CBS Sports yesterday:

“I get drunk because I'm happy we win or I get drunk because I'm very sad and disturbed because we lose,” Guillen said. “Same routine, it never changes. It's been the same routine for 25, 28 years. It doesn't change. I don't like to go out.”

“I don't have time,” Guillen said. “I've got to be here early, and I go to sleep so drunk that I have to recover in time to go to the park.”


Nice. Their owner, Jeffrey Loria, however… well, he likes cake. This one: 

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via Strip Club with Stanton, Deadspin

That’s what was in the owner’s box during the Marlins stadium-opening one-game series on Wednesday night against the Cardinals, who quickly flew the coop (bird jokes), since MLB has reduced Opening Day to a series of games that loosely resemble the cadence of foreplay. No one is exactly sure when the play time ends and the sex begins … but by the time Cliff Lee takes the mound and starts spraying excellence everywhere, the festivities seem to be over. Just like this week… in case you couldn't tell by this last paragraph.

*When discussing drafting Heath Bell for team Berthing Scott, I briefly forgot that he was a Marlin. Co-owner Mike pointed out to me that had been happening to him as well, with several players, and then he kept realizing that they all wound up in Miami. The “oh yeah I forgot, that team got everybody this offseason” test sounds great on paper, but it rarely ends up well for said team. I guess we’ll see.