Posts for matt

BREAKING: Matt Stairs Has Joined Twitter

Kyle Scott - March 20, 2013

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This is breaking news, and very important: Matt Stairs has, apparently, joined Twitter (@mstairs12):

Yes, that'd be Don Cherry. Stairs, a noted hockey fan and Canadian, follows significantly more hockey people than baseball people, including the first account he followed, the Montreal Canadiens.

Go on, give him a follow and hammer his ass. Let him know he’s part of the club.

You know what's after the jump.

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Ex-Penn Basketball Star Killed by His Wife for Watching Porno

Kyle Scott - February 12, 2013

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According to the records, Garcia-Pellon went in the kitchen in the couple's home on the 800 block of Parkridge Drive, sometime around midnight. There, she retrieved a glass of water and two knives.

She returned to the bedroom and slipped the knives under her side of the bed. She took one of the knives out as her husband was asleep.

She stabbed him in the neck, the records allege.

Garcia-Pellon then changed her clothes and left the house. She went to the home of a friend and told her White had allegedly been viewing pornography on a computer and she killed him, the records state.

The friend called 911.

"I caught him looking at pornography, young girls, I love kids," Garcia-Pellon told investigators. "I had to do it."

White was starting center in 1979 when Penn made it to the Final Four of the NCAA basketball championship.

White played for the varsity team from 1976 to 1979. He holds the school record for field goal percentage among players with a minimum of 250 made field goals.


Wait. She killed her husband for watching porn? [rolls over, goes willingly] Two things:

1) Um, can you blame him?

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2) How young were the girls? Like, was it one of those barely legal, they are totally 18 just trust us this is their first time despite that gaping vacancy pornos, where the girls are ostensibly of age and there are all sorts of disclaimers and shit and was Jordan Capri in it because that chick is totally 30 and has been doing this for years? Or was this real, honest-to-goodness kiddie porn? Because it makes a difference. 

Still, knifing your husband is a bit much. Perhaps call 911. Or get a divorce. Or out him to a certain local sports blog that will blog about things barely related to current local sports. I think there’s a happy medium there. Nope– just killed him. There’s always weird shit going on with UPenn folks. Too smart for their own good. Should have gone to Villanova… where the basketball arena was named after a murderer. Never mind.

Screen grabs via 6 ABC

Matt Cord Wins Sixers PA Announcer Contest! (?)

Kyle Scott - October 11, 2012

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Dateline– December the twelfththth, two thousand eleven, Sixers press release:

Philadelphia 76ers Chief Executive Officer and co-Owner Adam Aron announced yesterday via his Twitter account (@SixersCEOAdam) that life-long Philadelphian and veteran broadcaster Tom Lamaine will be the team’s new Public Address Announcer for home games at the Wells Fargo Center beginning this season. Additionally, Aron announced that Matt Cord has been promoted to “Senior Correspondent” for the team’s official web site SIXERS.COM.

“The new owners of the Philadelphia 76ers have promised transformational changes in the game presentation for the Sixers when we play home games at the Wells Fargo Center. We are also committed to dramatically boosting content on our web site, SIXERS.COM,” Aron said. “With this announcement, we have made progress to achieve both goals.” 



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Que es?

This summer the Sixers said that Lamaine, who is 706, would not return, mostly because he performed his duties with the gusto of Jim Lehrer narrating the signing of a peace treaty. So, the team held a tryout to find his replacement. Some of our radio friends, 97.3 ESPN’s Mike Gill and WIP’s Brian Startare, auditioned, and I think either would have done a fine job. Cord, too, tried out… for his old job, ostensibly because he was tired of letting his many talents go to waste doing nonsensical interviews with G-list celebrities for the video page – whose daily visits must be in the tens! – and he wound up winning his old job back.


The same guy.

I have no issues with Cord– thought he was fine and didn’t see the need to replace him with Lamaine. But why bring him back? If you’re keeping score at home (I am, because I make a living performing such completely meaningless tasks), this is now two contests the Sixers have held – the mascot fiasco was the first one – that have ended in a stalemate of sorts. God knows what happened to poor souls Big Ben, B. Franklin Dogg, and Phil E. Moose. I can only imagine that they’re swimming with Phil A. O-Fishadelphia at the bottom of the Delaware. And that sucks, because I don’t think moose can swim in deep water, and certainly not when they’re carrying a basketball and wearing a revolutionary period jacket:

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A moment of silence for Phil E….

Back to the rant. 

So the mascot thing went nowhere. And now the PA announcer search has led us back to Cord. It’s like what happened on the short-lived NBC reality series Average Joe. The show’s second season tried to find sexy sweetheart Larissa Meek an average-looking guy with a heart of gold, but she wound up picking one of the late-arriving studly heels, Gil Hyatt, over nerdy Bostonian and awwww pick him fan favorite Brian Worth

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Hyatt quickly dumped Meek upon finding out that she used to date Fabio (yeah, for real, she used to fuck fucking Fabio). The whole thing was a disaster and the show limped through two more seasons before retreating peacefully into the land of television yesteryear so bloggers could make ridiculous references.

Now I don’t know how Cord would feel about a chick who once dated Fabio, and that probably doesn’t matter. What matters is that instead of going outside their comfort zone, the Sixers, like Meek, went with the predictable and safe choice in Cord. And that’s lame. Silly, too. Silly and lame. They made a big deal about searching for a PA announcer, giving local radio guys and others a shot at a dream job of sorts… and then settled on the original guy?

This is entirely too many words about a PA announcer, but the whole contest now feels like it was a sham. You think so too:

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Cole Hamels Scratched From Tonight’s Start, Cloyd Called Up

Ryan Gillon - August 29, 2012


Ask and ye shall receive. (Photo: Morning Call)

Wow… maybe the Phillies read the Morning Wood comment section… or maybe they didn't have any other options on short notice.

Cole Hamels has been scratched from his start tonight due to a gastrointestinal illness, which opens the door for…


Cloyd, just named the International League MVP, is 12-1 as a member of the Lehigh Valley Ironpigs with a 2.35 ERA. He'll take the mound against the Mets Matt Harvey (2-3, 2.75 ERA).

You can follow Ryan Gillon on Twitter @SeriouslyRyan.

Matt Carle Gets His Payday And Returns to the Lightning

Ryan Gillon - July 4, 2012


Tell me if you've seen this before…

…in which you take a look at the Flyers four days into free agency, and see that their biggest signing to date is Michael Leighton.


After missing out on Zach Parise and Ryan Suter to the Minnesota Wild, Matt Carle has pledged his allegiance (get it?!) to the Tampa Bay Lightning, where he'll sign a six-year, $33 million deal. At $5.5 million per year, you'll hear many say that Carle was overpaid for his future services, but he was the second-best defenseman in a relatively thin free agent class. This is the kind of shit that happens.

Even with the acquisition of Luke Schenn (and Danny Syvret, if that's worth mentioning… it's not), the loss of Carle really makes things shaky for the Flyers at defense. Kimmo Timonen was absolutely wiped at the end of last season and may not be able to give the minutes he did in the past. Sam Carchidi of the Philadelphia Inquirer noted that the Flyers will sign defenseman Bruno Gervais tomorrow, but he only played 50 games last year and doesn't show any signs that he can give the ice time that Carle does.

Some will tell you the Flyers defense isn't so bad, and they're not, but in addition to the changes this offseason, health is an issue. Andrej Meszaros was a big loss in the latter part of last season and the unfortunate situation with Chris Pronger doesn't need any elaboration. His career is probably over.

There is still plenty of time to make moves, but the names the Flyers are connected to include forwards like Anaheim's Bobby Ryan and Columbus's Rick Nash. No defensemen are linked as of this writing.

Carle's signing with the Lightning will begin his second tour with the team. He was dealt from Tampa in the 2008-09 season to the Flyers.

And yes, Shea Weber is a restricted free agent, but Nashville Predators GM David Polie will match any offer sheet for his star defenseman… especially considering that Polie is on suicide watch after Ryan Suter packed up for Minnesota…

…not even Homer, his whiskey, and his shotgun will be able to pull off such a move. But, there's always next year.

Jerry Sandusky’s Adopted Son Says He was Molested

Kyle Scott - June 21, 2012

And it gets worse.

Speaking to crack Patriot-News reporter Sara Ganim – who will undoubtedly get a job a major national outlet when this is all said and done – Matt Sandusky’s attorney said that his client was a molestation victim of Jerry Sandusky:

He has denied ever being abused by his adopted father until now. “This has been an extremely painful experience for Matt and he has asked us to convey his request that the media respect his privacy. There will be no further comment,” Shubin said in a statement. 

Shubin also said Matt was prepared to testify truthfully at trial, if called by prosecutors. 


Various reports say that Matt was ready to testify had his adopted father taken the stand yesterday (he didn’t). Perhaps Likely the reason Jerry didn’t take the stand.

Scott Hartnell’s Latest Blackberry Video Pokes Fun at Matt Carle’s Defensive Abilities

Kyle Scott - May 25, 2012

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For a while now, we’ve been chronicling Scott Hartnell’s adventures thanks to a promotion with Blackberry and the NHLPA

Today, Hartnell tweeted out a link to his latest two videos, Scott Hartnell’s World of Wildlife. It’s mostly several minutes of Hartnell overload, but features a delightful (and presumably friendly but oh-so-perfect) shot at Matt Carle, cast as a pylon in these videos. Of course, the pylon displayed better situational awareness than the Flyers defenseman. Behold:

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Lightning, Matt Carle Beat The Flyers

Kyle Scott - March 27, 2012

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One of these days Bryz had to give up more than two goals in game. The problem last night was that none of the Lightning’s three tallies coming after their second goal were Bryz’s fault. First there was a breakaway by Martin St. Louis to start the third period. 3-2 Bolts. Then Matt Carle floated a beautiful pass to Lightning forward JT Wyman, who briefly found himself in that Buick Unexpected Pleasures commercial* (for me? An insurance goal placed on my stick by the kindest defenseman in all the land? How unexpected.). 4-2.

*Next thing Wyman knew he was being serenaded by a bottomless ice girl and Peter Frampton in the Bolts’ locker room. Unexpected pleasures.

Matt Carle:

Q: Matt what happened there on that goal?

“I don’t know, I’d have to watch the replay but I don’t think I want to… so it’s kind of a give and go with Kimmo and I lost handle of it and it popped out in the front and Bryz didn’t see it.  It’s just one of those things where I think the sooner I put it behind me the better off I’ll be. Obviously it’s gut wrenching to have that happen and I just want to apologize to my teammates and all the fans and everybody that paid a ticket to come to the game tonight.  So it’s hard to swallow right now especially in a playoff race and where we are in the standings right now. Those are a huge two points that we needed.”


Thanks, Matt. 

Scott Hartnell would add his league-leading 16th power play goal, but it wouldn’t be enough as the Lighning iced the game with an empty-net goal. 5-3, other guys.

Full highlights are after the jump.

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