Posts for philadelphia

Is Jim Schwartz Smart Enough to Understand He’s Not a Head Coach?

Coggin Toboggan - January 8, 2018

If you believe the rumors, next year Jim Schwartz will be the newest head coach of the New York Giants. Or the Arizona Cardinals. Or the Indianapolis Colts. Or the Chicago Bears. Every off-season one assistant coach or coordinator is the hot coaching ticket to fill one of the vacancies for the numerous shit-canned head coaches from the previous season.

I understand why the Giants’ fan base would be excited to hire a guy like Schwartz. Great defensive coordinator. Firey attitude. Smart, sharp hairline without a trace of hair gel to remind them of the ex-greaser failure Ben McAdoo.

But here’s the thing….Jim Schwartz is not head coaching material and hopefully he’s smart enough to know it.

Schwartz has a good thing going with the Eagles. The media loves him, he gets to coach an extraordinarily young and talented group of defenders, and he doesn’t have to worry about ANYTHING on the other side of the ball. All of his energy can be used to cook up new and intricate defensive schemes to terrorize NFC East opponents and administer vast amounts of head trauma to opposing quarterbacks.

It’s perfect for him, and at the same time it’s what made him such an abject failure as a head coach in Detroit.

Oh, do you not recall his tenure as head coach of the Detroit Lions? It’s probably because he went 29-51 over the course of five forgettable seasons. Yes, he went 10-6 one year, but the one thing anyone even remotely remembers about that season was his tug of war handshake with Jim Harbaugh. Do you remember anything else? I’m sure Matt Stafford threw a few touchdowns to Calvin Johnson – with fans getting excited because THIS WAS THE YEAR the Lions would actually “make some noise” in the playoffs – and then threw some horrendous interceptions in their one and only playoff game and that was the end of the season…what else could have happened? Continue Reading

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Enough with Don Tollefson

Coggin Toboggan - December 6, 2017

The Don Tollefson redemption tour has officially started.

In case you missed it, NBC 10’s Jim Rosenfield spoke with Tollefson about the disgraced sportscaster’s role in scamming over $340,000 from sports fans through his charity’s fundraisers, selling more than 200 people bogus tickets and travel packages that never materialized or came to any type of fruition.

Enough with Don Tollefson.

I understand why he’s still a story, and why NBC 10 would want to interview him, but did the interview have to have such a feel good vibe to it? Literally the first words of the piece are Tollefson saying, “I feel tremendous!” and Rosenfeld then commenting that Tollefson “looked fit when we sat down to talk.”

NBC 10 made sure to first establish that Tollefson looks well after his lengthy prison stay. Perfect. Everyone was very worried that Tollefson’s stint in prison may have left him looking haggard and unrested.

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Don’t Pray for Dolphins Fans, They’re Already Dead

Coggin Toboggan - October 31, 2017

Poor Miami Dolphins fans. First the franchise loses its young, FINALLY successful quarterback Ryan Tannehill when he shredded every ligament in his knee during a non-contact play in training camp. THEN they decided to replace him with a barely coherent and decidedly uninterested Jay Cutler, who likely spent all off-season ripping Marlboro Reds and “training” for his new job as an announcer for CBS. Surprisingly, that well-thought-out move has not been a good one, to the tune of Cutler averaging 165 yards per game with only seven touchdowns, five interceptions, and 8 million blank-faced stares as he wondered why he decided to come out of retirement for this. FOR THIS.

Their offensive line coach took a video of himself allegedly snorting rails of cocaine to impress a stripper that was PROMPTLY released to social media…which may not even be the most embarrassing thing to happen to the franchise in the month of October, considering they just traded an All-Pro running back who is only 24 years old and under contract next season for $765,000.

Oh yeah, and there was a hurricane in there somewhere as well. That sucked.

Sorry, Miami. It’s been a rough Fall for everyone involved…so lets continue to pile on, shall we? Lets take a look at some of the most tortured Tweets from this morning from our friends down in the Sunshine State after the jump.

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The Process is Dead, Long Live The Process

Coggin Toboggan - October 18, 2017

The 76ers season starts in earnest tonight, driving the last nail into the coffin of The Process, the singular greatest/worst/cheapest franchise strategy ever seen in the NBA.

It was three years of either unending entertainment and a collective “fuck you” to the NBA and its team owners, or three years of unending embarrassment for fans that had to watch win totals of 19, 18, and 10 from 2013 to 2016.

It was awesome.

I’m sorry, it was. There has never been a bigger divide among Sixers fans in this franchise’s history. NEVER. You either were all-in, deifying Sam Hinkie as the genius architect of The Process, or you cursed Hinkie as a jowly, overly analytical loser who purposefully made the franchise so bad that they could acquire a greater amount of precious, precious “assets” in the hopes that one of them would eventually pan out.

I fucking loved it. The idea that a pale nerd, who looks like he could hardly dribble a basketball, turned the NBA on its head by declaring that the Sixers would SEEK to be awful (and thus improve their chances to be great) and could evoke such tremendous emotion from basketball fans throughout the country is insane.

It was a shadowy practice only discussed in half-joking, hushed tones from fans, put into practice from possibly the least impressive looking man that has ever stepped foot on a basketball court in any fashion.

You loved Hinkie or you hated him. People either wanted to punch him or fuck him. There was no in-between.

Blogs were created purely to discuss his genius. Podcasts were launched. His swollen face and sly grin are plastered on t-shirts that grown men proudly wear in public. Sixers Twitter exploded, with his legion of followers ready to pounce on the non-believers who dared to question his vision, or who didn’t understand his devotion to second round draft picks, or his willingness to swindle salary-cap-strained franchises with an eye for a payoff YEARS down the road. Continue Reading

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Markelle Fultz Declared a Bust by the Dumbest Twitter Has to Offer

Coggin Toboggan - October 5, 2017

Are we really doing this? Seriously, are we already cursing the heavens for our foul luck with drafting Markelle Fultz? We’re calling him a bust in this city after ONE preseason game? Hell, people were writing him off after one half last night, so I guess if you waited until the end of the game you were a bit more balanced in your assessment.


True, Fultz did look a little lost at times last night and struggled to get anything going offensively. Weird that a 19-year-old would be overwhelmed playing in his first professional NBA game. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT?

The Sixers Twitter overreaction to his first taste of NBA basketball is insane. The way morons were tweeting about his demise you’d have thought there was a line of people at the Ben Franklin Bridge waiting to cast themselves to their watery grave. Should’ve taken Lonzoooooooooooooooooooooo. Splash.

These Tweets deserve your mockery and scorn. In the Victorian ages, their authors would’ve been forced to wear a scarlet “O” on their lapels and publicly shamed for the rest of their miserable existences (O for “overreacter”…Nathaniel Hawthorne loves that reference, believe me).

And we’re officially ROCKETING out of the gate. Incoherent complaint? Check. Use of a vulgar slur to describe Fultz’s play? Check. Declaring Fultz needs to prove you wrong after one half of poor play? Check. That’s the good stuff. Harrison, I salute your ham-handed attempt at criticism. Continue Reading

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Will We Ever Escape The Sixers’ Groundhog Day?

Coggin Toboggan - September 22, 2017

January 2017: Joel Embiid “feels great” after injury to knee, will only miss a few games.

Then put your little hand in mine, there ain’t no hill or mountain we can’t climb…

February 2017: Joel Embiid has a torn meniscus, but he won’t need surgery.

Then put your little hand in mine, there ain’t no hill or mountain we can’t climb…

March 24, 2017: Embiid’s meniscus repair surgery went just fine.

Then put your little hand in mine, there ain’t no hill or mountain we can’t climb…

Sept. 20, 2017: Embiid is progressing, but he’s not ready for 5-on-5

Then put your little hand in mine, there ain’t no hill or mountain we can’t climb…

Sept. 21, 2017: Jahlil Okafor will have every chance to play while being shopped by the 76ers.

Where have we heard this before? Embiid is hurt and the Sixers don’t know when, or if, he’ll be a full-go. Okafor is in the best shape of his life and he’ll have every opportunity to play so he can be dealt to the highest bidder.

Didn’t this all happen last year? And the year before? And the year before that? Did Embiid hurt his knee bowling in the offseason, or was that someone else? When does it end? Will it ever end? Will we all be living the same tortured season year in and year out for the rest of our lives? It’s possible we will.

God that is depressing.

I’ll give you a winter prediction: It’s gonna be cold, it’s gonna be grey, and it’s gonna last the rest of your life.

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Why Philly Would Be a Good Home For Amazon

Tim Reilly - September 8, 2017

On Thursday, news broke that Amazon was seeking to establish a second corporate hub to complement its massive operation in Seattle. According to the AP’s Joseph Pisani, “the company said…it will spend more than $5 billion to build another headquarters in North America to house as many as 50,000 employees.” Amazon set up a website to field applications from interested cities.

Right on cue, Mayor Jim Kenney announced in a Tweet that Philadelphia would be tossing its hat in the ring:

Notwithstanding Kenney’s hackneyed pun, which is unbecoming of a St. Joseph’s Prep alumnus, the mayor is wise to pursue this opportunity.

Judging by the construction boom currently taking place in Center City, we certainly have the labor capacity to build whatever Amazon requires in terms of office space.

Do we have a population that can fill the thousands of high-skill jobs that Amazon will create? Given that only 25% of the city’s residents can claim to hold a Bachelor’s Degree – for comparison, current Amazon home Seattle’s is 58%, while the other top five markets are all over 30% – this might be an area of concern; however, that number rises considerably when one takes into account the population of the metropolitan area. Moreover, the open jobs will obviously attract applicants from all over the world, who would then relocate to Philadelphia.

One obstacle that will be particularly difficult to navigate is the backwards tax system implemented by our local government. It’s no secret that Philadelphia is a difficult place to set up a business. Taxes are burdensome, which is why a lot of companies set up shop in the suburbs. Our civic leaders are particularly adept at taxing mobile assets (see City Wage Tax, Business Privilege Tax, soda tax, etc.) rather than immobile assets (taxes on real estate, use and occupancy, etc.). If you want to read more about this issue, here’s a 42 page report from 2009 that was presented to Mayor Nutter.

Perhaps as an acknowledgment of their onerous tax system, the city offers numerous incentives to prospective businesses that wish to pitch their proverbial tent in Philadelphia. For example, Philadelphia provides a 10-year tax abatement on new construction in the city, something that is popular with developers. Undoubtedly, our government officials will back up the truck for Amazon, offering generous subsidies and abatements in exchange for the revenue that will flow into the city’s coffers from the new jobs that will be created.

Furthermore, Philadelphia has many of the assets that Amazon has identified in a municipal partner. According to Reuters, the corporate titan is looking for “a metropolitan area of more than a million people with an international airport, good education and mass transit.” The city can reasonably claim to possess three of these metrics. More anecdotally, Philly is situated between New York and Washington D.C., with easy, quick travel to both. It is largely viewed as being on the upswing as a tech hotbed, finishing high in multiple (arbitrary) media rankings, and is generally considered an increasingly desirable destination for young people. Having Comcast and Amazon call the city home would go a long way towards solidifying that standing. Continue Reading

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Here’s The Flyers-Capitals First Round Playoff Schedule

Jim Adair - April 11, 2016

The NHL has announced the schedule for the first round series between the Flyers and Capitals. All currently scheduled games will air on NBC Sports Network, except game 2, which will air on CNBC. Games 3, 4, and 6 (if necessary) will be in Philadelphia. Check the whole schedule below:

Game 1

  • @ Washington on Thursday, April 14 at 7 p.m. on NBCSN, CSN Philly

Game 2

  • @ Washington on Saturday, April 16th at 7 p.m. on CNBC, CSN Philly

Game 3

  • @ Philadelphia on Monday, April 18th at 7 p.m. on NBCSN, CSN Philly

Game 4

  • @ Philadelphia on Wednesday, April 20th at 7 p.m. on NBCSN, CSN Philly

Game 5*

  • @ Washington on Friday, April 22nd. Time and network TBD, CSN Philly

Game 6*

  • @ Philadelphia on Sunday, April 24th. Time and network TBD

Game 7*

  • @ Washington on Wednesday, April 27th. Time and network TBD, CSN Philly


*if necessary

UPDATE: CSN Philly will air all games, except Game 6.