Posts for pierre

Ben Revere is Almost Identical to 24-year-old Juan Pierre

Kyle Scott - December 6, 2012

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Photoshop via (@RudyMezzy)

The consensus on Twitter is that Revere, 24, is a young Juan Pierre-Michael Bourn type player.

Let’s compare.

Revere in 2012: .294 AVG, .333 OBP, .675 OPS, 0 HR, 32 RBI, 40 SB, sweet fucking hat tilt.

Pierre in 2012: .307 AVG, .351 OBP, .721 OPS, 1 HR, 25 RBI, 37 SB, sweet fucking hat tilt.

Pierre at age 24, in 2002: .287 AVG, .332 OBP, .675 OPS, 1 HR, 35 RBI, 47 SB, sweet fucking hat tilt.

Bourn in 2012: .274 AVG, .348 OBP, .739 OPS, 9 HR, 57 RBI, 42 SB, no fucking hat tilt.

Bourn at age 24, in 2007 (limited time with the Phillies): .277 AVG, .348 OBP, .727 OPS, 1 HR, 6 RBI, 18 SB, no fucking hat tilt

Revere has the worst OPS (on-base plus slugging percentage) of anyone here. His on-base percentage is a bit lower than the others’, but what’s holding him back is his power. He has none. He hasn’t hit a home run in over two seasons with the Twins. But, check out Revere compared to 24-year-old Juan Pierre, from 2002– they’re almost identical. Here, I put them side-by-side:

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No, their stats, silly:

Revere in 2012: .294 AVG, .333 OBP, .675 OPS, 0 HR, 32 RBI, 40 SB, sweet fucking hat tilt.

Pierre at age 24: .287 AVG, .332 OBP, .675 OPS, 1 HR, 35 RBI, 47 SB, sweet fucking hat tilt.

That’s a good sign. Pierre finished in top 10 in MVP voting the next season, led the league in steals (also, caught stealing), at-bats, and the Marlins won the World Series. 

This post also appears in our Winter Meetings Running Commentary.

Juan Pierre Clears Waivers, Could Be Traded Today

Ryan Gillon - August 31, 2012


(Photo: Rick Shultz/Getty Images)

He will be missed.

Jon Morosi from FOX Sports is reporting that Juan Pierre has cleared waivers.

Why is midnight tonight relevant? Pierre will be able to play in the postseason if he's traded by then. Because he's useful to a potential contender, there's a decent chance he'll be dealt.

Pierre, 35, is batting .300 for the Phillies with 32 stolen bases and 22 RBI, but's his .343 on-base percentage that likely makes him attractive to other teams.

Stay tuned.

Grab Bag: Cameras May Have Caught a Pair of Painted Breasted at Marlins Park on Monday Night and Greg Dobbs Stole Chase Utley’s Glove Last Night

Kyle Scott - August 15, 2012

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Second base at Marlins Park has become a bit of an attraction the past two nights. No, it’s not because it’s been stepped on by baserunners for the first time since May. Rather, we’ve been treated to a couple of odd scenes.

First up, Juan Pierre and the topless go-go dancer.

When Leon made a bit of a baserunning gaff on Monday night, which left him stranded on second when he should have been at third, cameras focused in on our favorite throwback slap-hitter while Chris Wheeler pontificated about something. I’ve long said that the only thing that could kill a raging boner* is the sound of Wheels’ voice and, unfortunately, we were given the chance to test that theory during this sequence.

Reader Michaeldabeast5273, noticed what appeared to be a pair of breasts just over Leon's shoulder:

Upon further inspection, those do, in fact, appear to be a pair of breasts. But they’re likely painted. That’s the Marlins’ Clevelander Bar, which, for the low low price of $100, affords hardcore baseball fans the opportunity to watch the game from field level while staring at painted titties. It’s… well… genius. Like, no way the Phillies’ half-cocked sellout streak ends at 257 games if there was a set of jumbo Ds just off Domonic Brown’s camera-facing right shoulder. No chance. Even Dan Baker could have had some fun with it, inserting awkward inflections into an announcement usually reserved for the 1 a.m. time slot at a Delaware Ave. strip club: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the right field area, Tatyana’s mammaries! 

Anyway, the Marlins have bodypainted slores dancing the night away, and we’re pretty sure CSN cameras caught some of the action.

*No reasonable person would get a boner from this, but it's the closest we've come to testing that theory.

And last night, after Greg Dobbs flied out to left field using one of his vintage majestic swings that finishes with him looking like a rhythmic gymnast, the former Phillie decided to swipe Chase Utley’s glove as he rounded second while taken his worn route to the dugout:

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Juan Pierre Attributes Speed to Usain Bolt, Does Post-Game Interview in Wife Beater

Kyle Scott - August 13, 2012

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Juan Pierre is so fucking throwback.

Everything about him is old-school: his baggy uniform, the hat-under-helmet thing, and his slap-the-ball-the-other way style of hitting. So, yesterday, when he legged out a Cool Papa Bell single to give the Phillies their third win of the season, it wasn't a surprise that he did his post-game interview in a wife beater:

Is it just me or does Pierre look a lot of J.B. Smooth’s Leon from Curb Your Enthusiasm? When Pierre jokingly gave credit to Usain Bolt for his 90-foot, game-winning sprint, saying that he was inspired by the Jamaican sprinter's final leg of the 4 x 100 relay, all I heard was: That fucker fast, Larry. I see that motherfucker and I just wanna haul ass down that motherfuckin' line. You can’t do that shit half-speed. Fuck Furcal. Usain Bolted that motherfucker, Larry.

Of course, you only hear that once you're able to block out the Dom Brown dong watch going on in the background.

Morning (Hard)wood: Blowing at Home

Kyle Scott - May 17, 2012

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Sadly, the highlight from the Sixers game may have been the 8-8 Eagles showing up


The Boston Celtics have two gears: Old and still fucking old but now it’s time to win so we have to do that Old School Chevy thing and find a way.

You can guess which they drove in last night.

For Games 1 and 2, the Celtics didn’t switch into Old School Chevy gear until the fourth quarter. The Sixers were lucky enough to escape Beantown with one victory despite outplaying the Celts for the better part of two games. Yesterday, though, the Celtics kicked it into gear in the second quarter and never looked back. Garnett was in Anything is Possible mode, putting up 27 points and 13 rebounds. 

You can watch the full highlights here… if you want to do that to yourself. 



Fat Carlos Ruiz – or, as some readers have suggested, Endearingly Pudgy Carlos Ruiz – hit a solo home run to give the Phillies a 3-2 lead in the eighth. They never looked back. Hector Luna tacked on a grand slam in the ninth and the Phillies went on to win 9-2. 

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The Daily News’ cover is good, though I’m not sure a home run coming around 10:45 p.m. can be considered late night. Maybe for scriptuals and layout folks needing to finalize an issue it is…

Zoo With Roy put a #voteforchooch video together and set it to Enrique Iglesias.

Did Kyle Kendrick suck?

He did not.

6 IP, 3 H, 1 ER, 4 K, 0 BB 

It’s an every man’s quality start, not the likes of what we see from Roy, Cliff and Cole, but still impressive from KK. 

Video here.  

Did a fielding gaff cost the Phillies a run?

It did.

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At the Iron Pigs game.

DeSean Jackson G Pic of the Day 

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Our friend HughE Dillon has pictures from Jeremy Maclin’s birthday party. Includes D-Jac, Jason Kelce and… Tim Legler? 

Meep Meep Meep Meep Meep Meep Meep

Beaker went to visit his hot girlfriend at Sampan, again.

Reader email:

Had dinner in Sampan on 13th and Walnut tonight for my bday. Was sitting at the bar afterwards when Evan walked in with his girl,his two boys and some old bald whote man. Not sure who he is. Nobpics cause its kind off empty and ill feel weird but they seem to be loving life even if beeker played like an asshole and soxers got smoked.



Can’t believe I’m about to do this: Do you remember that scene in Fever Pitch where Jimmy Fallon was crushed to learn that Johnny Damon and Jason Varitek seemingly were enjoying themselves at a nice restaurant after losing Game 3 of the ALCS in horrific fashion to the Yankees? Yeah, that.

A Reminder Why Sixers Super Fan Alan Horowitz Has Such Good Seats

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Man Scents

Yankee Candle just released four new scents specifically for men– Man Town— which sounds positively fruity… First Down… Riding Mower— not a sex position… and 2×4— which, you guessed it, smells like saw dust.

I need one of these for the new house. 

Awkward Tweet of the Day 

Many Eagles were in attendance at last night’s Sixers game. New Eagle Mychal Kendricks seemingly wasn’t invited. Check out this Tweet he sent to Adam Aron… an hour after the game started

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Poor guy. An hour later? 

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Sure is.


PHILLY SPORTS IN MOVIES QUIZZO TONIGHT AT DRINKER’S! I'm hosting, you're playing. Details here.


Finally, John Tortorella hates the media. Video after the jump.

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The Phillies’ Social Media Guy Thought Juan Pierre was Ryan Howard Today

Kyle Scott - February 23, 2012

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Ah, no they didn't.

Earlier today, whoever runs the Phillies’ Twitter account got a little confused as to what the $125 million gigantic limping first baseman who's been here for like 8 years looks like.

Simple mistake, I suppose.

Shane Victorino quickly LOLd at his club’s Tweet, pointing out that the black man on the right was not Ryan Howard– it was newcomer Juan Pierre, who is listed at around five inches shorter and 65 lbs. lighter than Howard. 

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Right, that guy

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To be fair, it does sort of look like Howard. But skinny 2010-2011 Howard, not current fat Howard, which, by the way, is the best kind of Howard (2004-2009). Or Pierre is just jacked… actually, yeah– that. Go on with your bad self, Juan.

Phillies Sign Juan Pierre to Minor League Deal

Kyle Scott - January 27, 2012


The Phillies are rounding out the fringes of their roster quite nicely. Jim Salisbury reports that they will sign Juan Pierre to a minor league deal.

Pierre, 34, played 158 games for the White Sox last year, batting .279 and stealing 27 bases.

I love this move. Huge upside for the Phillies. It's experienced, proven players that they were missing on their bench the last two seasons. Judging by his 27 steals, Pierre can still run (although he was thrown out 17 times). He's also only missed 23 games in the last three seasons– so he's healthy. And he rarely strikes out– only 41 Ks in 711 plate appearances last season. 

UPDATE: It's official.

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