Posts for pittsburgh

Is Philadelphia vs. Pittsburgh Really a Rivalry?

Kevin Kinkead - April 11, 2018

I haven’t written anything about the Flyers this year because I don’t know anything about ice hockey. That’s Anthony’s beat anyway. He’s got you covered.

What I do know is that I hate Sidney Crosby and his fat face. I hate his smug demeanor and childish attitude and his 89 points. I hate his three Stanley Cups and his seven All-Star selections and his pair of Conn Smythe and Hart Trophies.

When it comes to Pittsburgh, however, that’s about it. Obviously Wawa is better than Sheetz, and it’s “soda,” not “pop,” but I really don’t dislike anything else about the Steel City.

But it’s not about me, it’s about you, the readers of Crossing Broad dot com, who overwhelming said that Pittsburgh and Philadelphia are not rivals:

Seems accurate to me.

When you go down the list of sports teams, it’s hard to find a ton of meaning:

Penguins/Flyers

Metropolitan Division rivals. Frequent games, playoff history, exciting matchups.

Steelers/Eagles

One AFC team, one NFC team. Infrequent games, no playoff matchups even possible outside of the Super Bowl.

Pirates/Phillies

It used to be something special before the Pirates moved to the National League Central back in 1994. You could go back to the 70s and find 10 NLCS appearances between the two teams, an era of success that saw the Pirates win it all twice (’71 and ’79’) and the Phillies once (1980). It’s been tempered since then, and when the Pirates began to turn the corner about five or six years ago, the Phils were sliding back to mediocrity after the 2008 and 2009 World Series appearances.

Sixers/no one

Pittsburgh doesn’t have an NBA team.

Union/no one

No MLS team, but Pittsburgh does have a USL team, the Riverhounds, who play Bethlehem Steel a few times a year.

Colleges 

Pitt kind of sucks in all sports now, so it’s hard to find meaning there. They don’t play Temple or Villanova anymore, and those football and basketball games weren’t rivalries anyway. What else is out there? Duquesne? Carnegie Mellon? The Point Park Pioneers?

I think that’s it, really, it’s just the Penguins and Flyers for real substance and meaning.

Continue Reading

Continue Reading

And Now, an Email from Pittsburgh

Kyle Scott - October 18, 2012

Just a few minutes before doing my thing on the new GSD last night, I looked at my iPhone and noticed an email from ARF53@pitt.edu. Subject line: [sic] “kyle Scott… what a guy”

I am a great guy, but I don’t think that’s what Arf wanted to tell me. He apparently didn’t like this post about Sidney Crosby. Go, Arf:

Wow…I can not begin to express the hilarity that is your pathetic blog.
Kyle Scott you are a worthless excuse for a person…and even your own
demographic sees you for what you truly are…a sad, sad, little loser.
The new Crosby post, nice work, truly. You managed to come across as a
sniveling little girl, complaining about Crosby's lack of apology. You
then procede to call him a crybaby and a list of other witticisms, yet it
is you with a wang up your ass because in an interview, he spoke as an
athlete (something im sure you never were or ever will be) and refused to
apologize for whatever it was you and the rest of the Flyers orgnization
seems to be bitching about. The comments to that post amuse me. Your
"fans" calling you out for your complete stupidity. Crosby isnt sorry? Get
over it. You really are an embarassment to not only philadelphia but to
bloggers in general. You represent your orginization as complainers and
pussies looking for an apology…really? This is hockey. So until you
learn what it is to become a man, keep on sporting those sweet V-necks and
kindly go fuck yourself. You giant, giant, tool.

Oh…and your boner of the Nats? Also extremely pathetic…once again, you
are a tool.

 

If I had enough time to do so, I would have changed my spiel on GSD to simply: "fucking Yinzers!" But I'm not sure the censors would have allowed that anyway.

Pitt’s a tough school, and I’m not sure Arfy here is going to make it.

Yinzers Booed When The Flyers Drafted “The Next Mike Richards” Last Night

Kyle Scott - June 23, 2012

Fucking Yinzers.

Not that I would have expected anything better from folks in the western part of the state whose lives are mostly defined by bridges and a hockey team that nearly abandoned them a few years back, but this was a bit surprising.

When Paul Holmgren and his PS3 controller took the stage in Pittsburgh to announce the Flyers' first-round draft pick, Scott Laughton – who basically projects to be Mike Richards (more on that in a second) – Yinz booed the Flyers GM. Hard. 

Homer, who seemed more irritated than he was amused, had a quip ready to go: 

“Well, I was gonna thank the city of Pittsburgh for their for welcome…”

 

Well played, Paul.

While the boos directed at Holmgren – a long-time member of the Flyers organization who, last year, ripped Jaromir Jagr from the hearts of Pittsburghians – were funny, you’d expect that even the most hardened Western PA steel worker would golf-clap an 18-year-old on his big day.

Laughton, who was born in 1994 (1994!), had no such luck. 

He was booed throughout his entire walk to the podium, while on the podium, and when he held up his Flyers jersey. And here the national media would have you believe that these sorts of boos only exist in Philadelphia.

While we’re on the subject, let’s talk about Laughton.

Here’s a quote from an NHL Network analyst right after the Flyers made their pick:

“You know who his favorite player is? Mike Richards. And you know who he plays like? He plays like Mike Richards, as well.”

 

Well! That’s great. Always wanted a guy like Richards. Glad to see that the Flyers traded for Brayden Schenn – Richie 2.0 – last year and drafted the third iteration of the Stanley Cup champion this year.

We'll just call Schenn and Laughton Maybe. As in, maybe one of them will turn into Mike Richards. Maybe they'll realize their potential. Maybe they'll have that type of success. Laughton would love that:

“I’ve been looking up to Mike Richards for a while now. He’s a guy that I love to watch play. And I really like watching Shane Doan, too. Those two guys are huge for me, and I like to model myself after them. They’re just really good players, who were always there for their team in the playoffs and everything like that. They’re heart and soul type of guys, so I really like to play like those guys.” 

 

Maybe he’ll eventually become one of those guys. Maybe.

Shittsburgh: A Bull and Cow Have Sex in the Road, Man Sues Penguins for Too Many Text Messages

Kyle Scott - June 1, 2012

Screen Shot 2012-06-01 at 10.40.14 AM

There's a Sidney Crosby joke to be made here, but I won't do him like that– because Malkin is! (pic via 96.1)

Welcome to the lovely city of Shittsburgh, where sewer pipes leak below PNC Park. Today, traffic was stopped while a bull and cow had sex in the middle of the road:

Screen Shot 2012-06-01 at 10.44.16 AM

Screen Shot 2012-06-01 at 10.44.16 AM

Screen Shot 2012-06-01 at 10.44.16 AM

That's not anger, lady– it's passion.

The sports story of the day in this fine town, though, is of one Yinzer, who is suing the Pittsburgh Penguins because they sent him two extra text alerts during one week in March.

For realsies.

The folks at Puck Daddy did a nice job of breaking the lawsuit down, but basically it goes like this:

A guy signed up for text alerts from the Penguins. He was told that there would be a maximum of three texts per week (reasonable), but got upset when, during the week of March 11, he received – brace yo’selves – five text messages. The following week? Four. HE RECEIVED THREE EXTRA TEXT MESSAGES IN TWO WEEKS. THE HORROR! Somewhere, a child dies of hunger, a man gets shot, an old lady gets plowed over by a bus, and a Pittsburghian has to check his cell phone. We’re doomed.

image from media.zenfs.com

As the folks at Puck Daddy point out, there are explicit instructions on how to unsubscribe from the text alerts. But no, a lawsuit seemed like the better option.

Yinzers: looking for a way out since 1992.

Two Yinzers Ripped a PNC Park Security Guard’s Finger Off This Weekend

Kyle Scott - May 17, 2012

Screen Shot 2012-05-17 at 10.42.18 AM

I should tell you that this post is being written live from a Panera Bread, where a man, who I don’t know, decided that roughly 18 open tables didn’t suit his needs and he would plug his computer in and sit at my table, across from me. 

So I bring you this story while sharing a desk with a man I’ve never met. If my words suddenly come to halt, either John Quinones showed up… or I’m dead.

Yinzers ripped a PNC Park security guard’s finger off this weekend.

Really.

A Pittsburgh Post-Gazette story tells us about Rachel George, 21, and her father, Christopher, 50, who attacked a security guard and police officer while Rachel was being escorted out of the stadium after she was caught smoking in her seat. Things got out of hand rather quickly: 

As Pirates security supervisor Joseph Risher was escorting her out of the right field gate, Ms. George's unidentified boyfriend assaulted him and ran off. Ms. George jumped on the guard's back and started to pull him backward, the complaint says.

Her father joined in the attack, pushing him up against a fence.

"While defending himself, Mr. Risher got his left hand caught on the fence, and when he was pulled by both (defendants) his left middle finger was ripped off at the second knuckle and was hanging by a piece of skin," Detective Rende wrote in the complaint.

 

A police officer also injured his shoulder while placing Rachel in a stadium holding cell (yep, other cities have them too). 

Mr. Risher’s finger was later reattached during surgery. 

Classic Shittsburgh right there, folks. I mean, from their look to the act. Smoke-stained, greasy dirty blonde hair? Check. Rustic handlebar mustache accompanied by hollow, lonely eyes? Yep. Getting kicked out of a stadium for puffing on a cigg then assaulting a security guard and ripping off his fucking finger? Oh you bet. A three rivers trifecta right there.

Sadly, this won’t live on in sports infamy, but if it happened in Philly it surely would.

H/T to readers Adam, Steve, Dave, and the guy sitting acr

Watch As This Pittsburgh Site Trolls You, Philadelphia

Kyle Scott - April 14, 2012

This is actually pretty funny.

Video by Benstonium, makers of "Pittsburgh's biggest and best viral videos," via The Pensblog

Your #VisitPittsburgh Highlights

Kyle Scott - April 13, 2012

Screen Shot 2012-04-13 at 1.10.48 PM

Screen Shot 2012-04-13 at 1.06.51 PM

Since Wednesday, the Twitters have been all aflutter with the #VisitPittsburgh hashtag, an aggregation of reasons to visit the Shit City.

In anticipation of tonight’s game, and because you hate Pittsburgh, here are some of our favorites.

Continue Reading

Continue Reading

More Examples of Yinzer Idiocy

Kyle Scott - June 18, 2011

Pittsburgh

Ah Pittsburgh, the appendix of our state.

In another show of awfulness, here's a story about Pirates catcher Chris Snyder, whose wife, Carla, almost collided with a motor scooter (ist?). The driver (rider?) became enraged. Luckily, Joe Changle, a former wrestler, intervened: [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette via Big League Stew]

Mr. Changle couldn't ignore Mrs. Snyder's yells for help.

"She was screaming, 'help, help me, my husband just had back surgery and he can't do anything,'" said Mr. Changle, 22, of Scott. "I stepped toward the male and I said, 'You've got to chill out, you don't hit women.'

"I've got a pretty hot head, so he got pretty defensive real quick and tried to assault me. I said, 'Dude, don't threaten me, just back off.' I had to make a decision whether I was going to let him hurt me or possibly neutralize things."

 

First of all, who drives a motor scooter? Pee-wee? This guy?

Whatevs.

Pee-wee is being held on $25,000 bond. You stay classy, Pittsburgh.