Posts for ryan

Today in “Ryan Lochte, Douchebag”: Douchebag Ryan Lochte Douchebag Douchebag Douchebag

Kyle Scott - March 26, 2013

Your move, North Korea. 

H/T to (@phillygirl1985)

Today in “Ryan Lochte, Douchebag”: Douchebag Ryan Lochte Seeks Douchebag Woman With Whom He Can Be a Douchebag

Kyle Scott - March 15, 2013

image from


He says, "I'm still single. I haven't found that right one. But I'm out there still looking for that one girl that takes my heart away … You'll see me going on dates." And the confident athlete admits he isn't at all apprehensive about a possible romance igniting on TV. He adds, "I'm not really shy about anything. I definitely want to find that one person I could spend the rest of my life with. Now, with the fame and everything that's happening in my life, it's hard for me to find that. There's definitely complications." "What Would Ryan Lochte Do?" premieres Sunday, April 21, on E! 


It is difficult for chiseled, Olympic athletes to meet women. So I do feel bad for Douchebag, and will look forward to watching his show.

H/T to (@mandersfield) and (@Flip_adelphia)

Hollywood Howard Will be on “The Office” Next Month, and, Incredibly, That Show is Still on the Air

Kyle Scott - February 26, 2013

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Photo: NBC


Not Howard… the show. My Christ, is Pam like 42 with child now?

Ryan Howard, the real one, will appear on the March 28 episode of The Office learned exclusively about the guest star appearance (how does Comcast-owned NBC not tell CSN about this first?) and spoke to Craig Robinson (Darryl on the show), who said almost nothing of use on the subject:

So, we have a lot of important things to discuss, but I guess we have to start with Ryan Howard: What’s a superstar like him doing with your crappy startup agency? 

[Laughs.] Well, you know, we’re trying to blow this up. We want to be a success and we want him joining us, but we’re looking out for his best interests, too. We want to see Ryan’s star grow to beyond a household name, to where he’s a household-and-backyard name. 

How are Ryan’s acting skills? 

Ryan killed it. He was dope, man. He’s pretty damn funny in real life, which doesn’t always translate to TV, but he killed it. He’s definitely a better actor than John Krasinski. Without a doubt. [Laughs.] I’m just playing. 

Did you milk him for some dirt on the Phillies?  

I’ve met Ryan a couple of times and he’s very chill, but I’m from Chicago, so he didn’t want to hear that. But he did say he’s going to get me out to some games, so I’m looking forward to doing that.  


This is The Office’s ninth and (thankfully) final season. I don’t even know if the character Ryan Howard (B.J. Novak) is still on the show. I stopped watching about seven years ago. But we’ll look forward to seeing The Big Piece next month.

[Related: Ryan Howard on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

[Related: Ryan Howard on Entourage]

[Related: Ryan Howard on Letterman]

[Related: Ryan Howard builds a moat]

Here’s a Photo of Ryan Howard’s MASSIVE Florida Home

Kyle Scott - February 6, 2013

image from

Previously, we’ve brought you details about Ryan Howard’s Belleair Beach mansion, a 17,500 square-foot home, with a moat, located on the Gulf just south of Clearwater Beach.

Construction began in April, and, of course, CB readers are on the scene. Here’s a picture from reader Brian of the halfway-completed MANSION. Behold, The Big Piece’s place: [click to enlarge]

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$125 million.

Ryan Madson Speaks Glowingly About Philly as LA Times Writer Fishes for a Stereotype

Kyle Scott - January 15, 2013

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In an article in which LA Times writer Mike Digiovanna rips Philly fans with this lede… 

However Angels fans respond the first time new closer Ryan Madson blows a save opportunity, chances are it won't rattle him.

It took only a short time before he experienced the wrath of Philadelphia's sports fans, who are notorious for booing Santa Claus, pelting then-St. Louis outfielder J.D. Drew with D-batteries and cheering when Dallas Cowboys receiver Michael Irvin lay motionless on the field after suffering a neck injury.


… we hear from former WFC Ryan Madson, now with the Angels, about his time in Philadelphia. And although Didyouknowva was undoubtedly fishing for some jabs at us rough and tumble fans to the east (by the way, 25 people were arrested and 62 needed medical attention at the 49ers game this weekend), Madson held his ground, complimenting not only Philly fans, but also the media. Really.

Check out these quoticals from Mad Dog: [LA Times]

As a Phillies rookie in 2004, Madson reeled off 21 consecutive scoreless innings in relief, lowering his earned-run average to 1.84 in July before giving up a two-run home run to Chicago Cubs slugger Sammy Sosa in a loss at home.

"They booed me off the field," Madson said. "I was like, 'Oh my goodness. It doesn't matter. It's what have you done for me lately?' That makes it tough. You can't rest on your laurels. Every day, they demand that you be at your best regardless of how many days in a row you've pitched, how you are physically."

"There couldn't have been a better environment to become the pitcher I am now," said Madson, who signed a one-year, $3.5-million deal with the Angels. "The fans might have been critical, but that's good. You don't want to go out there not caring."

Negative media can be good, he added: "All the 'Ha-ha, yeah-yeah, this team is great' stuff, that affects the players. They get comfortable. I want to feel that sense of urgency to go above and beyond expectations."


Not sure if Sarah Madson feels the same way… but nice to see that Ryan appreciates us.

We can assume that last quote can be applied to teams from later in Madson’s tenure with the Phillies, squads whose style of play contrasted with that of the 2007-2009 versions. In the article, Madson talked about how the 2008 Phillies were “hungry” and eager to prove doubters wrong. We haven’t seen that since about mid-2010.

The whole article is worth a read.

H/T to (@news_junkie_esq)

Today in “Ryan Lochte, Douchebag”: Douchebag Ryan Lochte Gets Own Douchebag TV Show

Kyle Scott - January 8, 2013

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Quick, give me the douchiest name you can think of for a reality TV show starring Ryan Lochte.


Here’s one: What Would Ryan Lochte Do?

Yes, that title is a rhetorical question… otherwise the answer would be “making duck faces and wearing obnoxiously large sunglasses ftw– JEAH!”

But that’s what E!* has decided to name its new six-episode series starring the guy who is just simply isn’t as good as Michael Phelps, the greatest ever.

From FOX News:

Airing on E!, "What Would Ryan Lochte Do?" will follow the 28-year-old swimmer as he prepares for the 2016 Rio Olympics while developing his fashion line, making media appearances, dealing with his family and friends, and searching for a girlfriend.

"Ryan Lochte captured everyone's attention at the Summer Olympics with his athletic prowess and his utterly unique and unaffected approach to life," E! Entertainment President Suzanne Kolb said Monday.

"He is an incredibly endearing personality who is sexy, entertaining and fun. Watching this show, I believe people will fall into three categories: they want to be him, sleep with him or mother him."

The show will include Lochte's family — his mother, Ike, his older married sisters Kristen and Megan, his younger brother and roommate Devon, and his nephews. Viewers will get to see the swimmer's eclectic collection of shoes that top out at more than 150 and the blinged-out accessories he favors.

Lochte, whose signature catch phrase is the made-up word "Jeah!", will be seen hitting the clubs in Gainesville, Fla., where he lives, and training with coach Gregg Troy. 


Incredibly, that’s not satire. This is a real thing. Move over, Honey Boo Boo– there's a new trainwreck in town, and this one has six-pack abs.

*Not surprising it’s a network with an exclamation point in their name. I guess Yahoo! hasn’t ventured into web series yet.

H/T to the six people who sent this to me this morning

Rex Ryan Has a Tattoo of His Wife Wearing Only a Mark Sanchez Jersey

Kyle Scott - January 4, 2013

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Photo: NY Daily News

Rex Ryan may very well have licked his wife’s toes while she was wearing a Mark Sanchez jersey.

This picture, which you will see everywhere today, is of Ryan on vacation in the Bahamas earlier this week. We’ll call your attention to his right arm, where two tattoos adorn the meaty mass. One is of a shamrock and contains the names of Ryan’s wife, Michelle, and kids. The other… is of Michelle wearing nothing but a Mark Sanchez jersey and beckoning for you to do dirty things to her (and perhaps her feet). It also appears that she could be Tebowing, which would be the hot-opposite of this porn star doing a Naked Tebow (NSFW!).

It will take an army of psychologists to deconstruct the meaning behind an oft-maligned NFL head coach having a tattoo of his wife, with whom he enjoys a foot fetish, wearing only the jersey of his oft-maligned quarterback. But, Ryan and his wife seem like they are crazy about each other, so there’s certainly something to be said for that. Saying it with that tattoo… well, that’s weird. 

Following Their Wedding This Weekend, Ryan and Krystle Howard “Trashed The Dress” in the Pacific

Kyle Scott - December 5, 2012

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Can't see the line, can you, Russ? [Photos: Splash News]

This is what happens when you make $125 million and can do pretty much whatever the fuck you want.

After getting married in Hawaii on Saturday (surprisingly few pictures exist), Ryan and Krystle Howard took a dip in the ocean on Monday, with their tux and dress on, respectively. 


One person tweeted a stealthy pic of the couple, rolling about in the Hawaiian waters (an image which I prefer to the clear ones):

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Pic via (@quintastic

Apparently, this is all part of a new fad called “trash the dress,” which sounds like a sexy little game Bill Clinton came up with in the Oval Office. But, it turns out it’s just a thing where brides soak or muddy their expensive wedding dresses by jumping in the ocean, rolling in mud, or spilling food all over themselves. Why? Because women like attention, and doing something that says hey, look at me– I’m sexy and crazy lets everyone know that they’re just a carefree, unpredictable soul, while solidifying their own (mostly inaccurate) belief that they’re not materialistic and are just happy to be one with the earth… and their millionaire husband.

Anyway, the dress, which was featured on TLC's Say Yes to the Dress (a little show I like to call Kill Myself) is ruined. But at least the Howard’s have this $7 wash cloth from our friend Joe over at Busted Coverage.

via TMZ, Big League Stew

H/T to (@kyliegeds)