Posts for schwimer

Michael Schwimer is Pissed Off

Kyle Scott - August 24, 2012

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And I thought the time I spelled it "Schwimmer" was bad, pic via (@IUPmike)

Michael Schwimmmmmmmmer is mad, yo. According to a report by CSN’s Jim Salisbury, Schwimer and his career 4.62 ERA were disproportionately upset about their most recent demotion to baseball’s incubator: [CSN Philly]

According to multiple sources, the demotion did not sit well with Schwimer. Two sources said the pitcher had recently complained of a sore arm and believed he should have been placed on the disabled list instead of being sent to the minors. Schwimer apparently made his feelings known to club personnel.


One source (who I’m convinced is Rich Dubee) told Salisbury that Schwimer had been “making noise about his arm hurting and getting a second opinion.” That’s code for whining. He had been whining.

Schwimer’s anger most likely stems from the fact that he will no longer receive substantially higher Major League pay while in the minors. When on the DL, players still receive their full compensation, which for Schwimer is paid at the rate of the league minimum, $480,000.

Michael Schwimer Just Broke Some Roster News on Twitter

Kyle Scott - May 10, 2012

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Uh oh. Why do I get the feeling that the gestapo that is the Phillies front office and media relations department isn’t going to be too thrilled with Michael Schwimmmmmer, who seemingly just announced a few roster moves… on Twitter.

That would be Jake Diekman, Raul Valdes and Hector Luna to whom Schwimmm is referring. 

Now, was Schwimer – who was optioned to Lehigh yesterday to make room for Cliff Lee (and because he stunk) – sending out that Tweet to get under his team's skin ala Ilya Bryzgalov at the Winter Classic? Maybe. Probably not. But it’s fun to think about.

Delco Times beat reporter Ryan Lawrence tries to add some context to the reported moves: 

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Anyway, Phillies minor leaguers: breaking roster moves on Twitter. Somewhere, the Phillies PR department is searching for a typewriter.

Michael Schwimer Wrote a Letter to Grantland Asking if it was OK to be a New York Giants Fan

Kyle Scott - February 9, 2012

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This happened.

Katie Baker, the former Deadspin contributor who was poached by Bill Simmons for his Grantland dream team, writes a weekly mailbag on the ESPN-backed site. In yesterday’s column, in which a picture of Eli Manning headlined the lengthy read, the final letter Baker addressed was from a Michael S.

OK– so what?

Michael S., a Yankees, Giants, and Knicks fan… who was called up by the Phillies last year.

Hello, Schwim.


Here’s what he wrote: []

My dad was born and raised in the heart of New York City. He is a diehard fan of the Yankees, Giants, and Knicks. Just like any other kid with a diehard New York sports fan dad, I was brainwashed from a very early age to live and die with New York sports. My dad and I bond the most over sports and going to events. We went to Lambeau Field for the 2007 NFC Championship game, and now to this Super Bowl.

Long story short, I got drafted by the Phillies, and got called up for a month and a half this past season. My love for the Yankees has disappeared but my love for the Giants and Knicks is as strong as ever. I also have fallen in love with the city of Philadelphia and truly believe they are the best baseball fans in the country. The last thing I ever want to do is lose support from these fans, but I love the Giants. So am I allowed to outwardly root for the G-MEN or do I have to keep that to myself because I happen to be employed by the Phillies?

— Michael S.

Baker offered a response in which she compared Schwim’s conundrum to Sister Wives. So, between that reality and the fact that she’s a Mets fan, I’m declaring her unqualified to weigh in on such provincial manners.

My response to Schwim is after the jump.

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Very Important News: Michael Schwimer’s Girlfriend Finishes Eighth in Bikini Contest, Julie Dorenbos in Preston and Steve Calendar

Kyle Scott - December 13, 2011

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Uh oh! It’s a blondes vs. brunettes post. 

The girlfriend of Michael Schwimer – one M, as he once pointed out to us – Missy Coles, finished eighth at the World Bikini Championships this weekend. 

As you may or may not know, Coles is a female body builder and model. Our friends over at Busted Coverage were kind enough to put together a photo gallery of the competition and other select photos of Coles wearing next to nothing. 

Schwimm was a proud boyfriend:



Meanwhile, in long snapper news, our friend Julie Dorenbos, the wife of Jon Dorenbos, will be featured in Preston and Steve’s recently released 2012 Totally Office Calendar. The above picture isn’t from the calendar – it's from Julie's Twitter (@Julie Dorenbos), but we thought you might enjoy it anyway.

You can pick up a calendar here. Full disclosure: Not an ad, just a public service announcement.

[Related: Photos of Schwimer's Bodybuilding Girlfriend]