Posts for season

Passionate, Intense… What the F$%k?: Sixers Send Strange Season Ticket Renewal Email

Kyle Scott - March 21, 2013

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Why am I not surprised that a guy who was an executive in the travel and leisure industry for so long fails egregiously to understand the Philly sports fan?

Yesterday, the Sixers sent a season ticket renewal email (and brochure!), signed by Adam Aron, to members of the Franklin Club, the hokily-named club for the poor souls who wasted their hard-earned money on bullshit this season. You can find a lot of things wrong with the letter, but mostly, it’s just too long and rambly, like a drunken note to a scorned lover. No way should things like this ever approach 853 words. Never. Not ever. But if it wasn’t so damn offensive and silly, no one would have noticed.

You can read the entire thing after the jump (it has to be the third-longest letter to season ticket holders in NBA history). But here are a few passages that really popped:

When I think back to how this current season started, we all had such high hopes that this would be a year in which the Sixers would soar to new heights. Right out of the box, a new ownership group demonstrated its commitment to restoring the Sixers to glory, through its sole focus both on your team and the experience you receive each game at the Wells Fargo Center. Last season’s improved play on the court, culminating in a dazzling playoff run, was complemented by enhancements to the show that surrounds the game itself. And then we created one new benefit after another for being a season ticket holder in the creation of the Franklin Club – as but three examples among many: you can dine in the Cadillac Grill; you can come to the games early and watch your favorite NBA players warm-up in private; and you were not alone in watching your Sixers play, as notable sports heroes and celebrities came to game after game.

 

Um, what?

If you’re from Philadelphia, or anywhere near it, you just rolled your eyes. Watching teams warm-up and notable sports heroes and celebrities??? Are you kidding me with that shit? You know where else you can find these things? EVERY PROFESSIONAL SPORTING EVENT, PRETTY MUCH EVER. Who are we talking about here, ex-Sixers and Terrence Howard? Really, tell me. Because this list isn’t doing it for me:

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the 76ers architected a trade that brought the Western Conference’s starting All Star Center last season to the Sixers roster.

 

Offensive. This is Philadelphia, where our baseball team is loaded with stars… where our hockey team is always among the most competitive and highest-spending in the league… and where our football team consistently has top-flight talent. Newsflash: YOUR TEAM SHOULD HAVE ALL-STARS. I’m soooo sick and tired of the Sixers talking about how they got the starting center of the Western Conference All-Star team. Imagine if the Eagles sent out a letter saying that, although it didn’t work out, they brought an AFC All-Pro cornerback to their roster. Just think about that for a moment.  

As a result, keen observers from near and far immediately began touting the Sixers as being among the NBA’s most competitive and contending teams. Unfortunately though, as we all know, sport can be cruel. Injuries have plagued the Sixers all year, and dashed our dreams for what might have been in the 2012-2013 season.

 

Tell me more, oh great fairy godmother! Did the villagers make it through the cold winter? Might I, too, one day be visited be a handsome prince?!

I’ve read goddamned children’s book that were less clichéd than the shit spewing from the Sixers front office.

We will either have on the floor the fruits of our trade from last summer, or instead we will have considerable cap space to participate in the free agency market.

 

Oh good! I have the utmost confidence in Tony DiLeo to make this work. 

It’s that time of year to continue your commitment to the Sixers, by renewing your Season Tickets for the 2013-2014 season. We have intentionally held pricing changes this season flat or modest for all Franklin Club Silver and Gold members. The vast majority of seats in the open lower and mezzanine bowls this year will have the same season ticket price or less than that of last year, and not a one will have a season ticket price increase averaging more than $2 per game (excluding the so-called “inside the dasher “ seats or suites/clubbox seats). And as a season ticket holder and Franklin Club Member, not only are you guaranteed to have the same great seat location for each and every game and a wide array of Franklin Club member benefits, but your season ticket holder price also assures you of a significant discount. Compared to buying an individual game ticket at face price for each game, you will enjoy a discount of at least 20% or more on average.

 

Too. Many. Words. And the Franklin Club is entirely too confusing. How many miles do I have to fly before I reach Gold status?

[click to enlarge]

Franklin

 

We want to see you in your seats at Sixers games next season. To thank you for renewing your season tickets, we will give you with our compliments a handsome Adidas 76ers warm-up jacket. As you would expect, these jackets are of fine Adidas quality (One free jacket will be awarded per renewing account, regardless of the number of seats renewed). 

 

SWELL, PAPA! My very own Adidas warm-up jacket with a compass in the stock and this thing with which tells time!!!! 

You better be careful, though– you don’t want to shoot your eye out. Actually… you might, when you read the full thing after the jump.

H/T to Chris

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Eagles Increase Season Ticket Prices by About $10

Kyle Scott - January 31, 2013


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Hello. My name is Jeffrey Lurie, and I’d like to punch you in the dick.

At least, that’s how I read this press release just put out by the Eagles:

The Philadelphia Eagles today announced their 2013 ticket prices. For the first time since 2009, season ticket prices will increase.

Lower Level Sideline seats and Upper Level Loge seats have increased from $95 to $105.

Lower Level Endzone seats have increased from $85 to $95.

General Upper Level seats have increased from $70 to $75.

The average cost of an Eagles ticket will now be roughly $93, which currently ranks 11th in the NFL. Despite this increase, the average ticket price remains the lowest in the NFC East, and is in the middle third of the NFL.

Invoices sent to season-ticket holders today included a letter from Eagles President Don Smolenski that discusses the increase. 

"We have made some dramatic changes this offseason, including the hiring of Coach Chip Kelly. But one thing that hasn’t changed – and Coach Kelly appreciates this – is that the passion [the fans] display and the support [the fans] provide with [their] loyalty to [the] Eagles makes this a special place to play football," wrote Smolenski.

"We are also embarking on a two-year stadium improvement plan at Lincoln Financial Field focused on enhancing the game day experience."

 

Thanks, guys. Can’t wait to see more wind turbines and solar arrays. Perhaps a vegtable garden in HeadHouse Plaza?

Credit to the Eagles for having the balls to be upfront about the increases. But, um, 12-20 over the past two seasons.

Hey, The Nationals Did Another Silly Thing to Sell Tickets

Kyle Scott - September 6, 2012


image from mobilwi.typepad.com

We haven’t done this in a while, mostly because the joke has been on the Phillies this year (and it still is), but it’s always fun to point out the hilarity that is often the Washington Nationals, who had 17,000 passionate fans in attendance Tuesday night proudly embodying NATITUDE as the hometown team entered the homestretch for their first postseason appearance ever

Apparently, however, that amount of people just won’t cut it for Nats owners, the Lerner Family. So, next year, they would like to sell more season tickets. How to do that? By creating a false sense of scarcity. 

I, along with probably about a dozen other people who are subscribed to such updates, received an email this morning:

Dear Nationals Fans,

As lifelong baseball fans and fellow Washingtonians, it’s impossible to fully convey how excited we are to see the Nationals success on the field while fans across the region embrace the thrill of a pennant race. With a solid pitching corps, sure-handed defense and a roster full of the best young talent in the game, the 2012 Nationals have generated plenty of excitement and a new attitude – or Natitude – here in the Nation's Capital. Together with you, we are building something special … and the best is yet to come!

Few things in our culture unite family, friends and communities like the game of baseball, and we want to make sure that everyone gets the opportunity to share in this great time-honored tradition. With this goal in mind, we have decided to limit the number of season tickets available for 2013 to 20,000 of our 41,000 available seats. We are committed to ensuring that every fan who wants to see a live game at Nationals Park has the opportunity to do so.

Therefore, with limited season tickets available, those of you who don't want to miss a minute of Nationals baseball should purchase your 2013 season tickets now! Additionally, this is the only way to ensure priority seating for the 2012 Postseason before tickets go on sale to the general public.

We are truly proud to be a part of bringing winning baseball back to Washington, D.C. The national pastime in the Nation's Capital is a special part of our lives and we want all Washingtonians to be able to share in this amazing experience.

Sincerely,

The Lerner Family
and the Washington Nationals Baseball Club

 

Their stated reason for limiting the number of available season tickets? So more families, cultures, species, and empty seats can witness winning Nationals baseball. The real reason? They would be thrilled to sell 20,000 season tickets.

As I started writing this, the folks over at DC Sports Bog posted about the email and linked to this article from Nats insider Mark Zuckerman. He points out that the Nationals didn’t sell anywhere near 20,000 season tickets this season:

Team officials don't give out exact numbers, but it's believed the Nationals have sold the equivalent of about 12,000 full-season ticket packages. We know for certain that number is no greater than 14,520 (the smallest crowd of the season to date).

 

The Nationals will absolutely sell more season tickets this offseason, since they are all but guaranteed a playoff spot, but limiting them to 20,000, which could be greater than a 50% increase over this season, is nothing but their way of setting a goal for themselves. Reach that number and it’s a successful increase for the Nats. And if they do hit that mark, you can bet that they won’t start turning away season ticket customers 20,001, 20,002 and so on, because, as you know, the Nats have trouble filling those remaining 21,000 seats.

The End

Kyle Scott - May 9, 2012

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And that’s a microcosm for your entire season. 

Experienced veteran recognizes trouble, takes step backward to go forward by handing puck to expensive Russian goalie, expensive Russian goalie ultimately implodes, puts Flyers at disadvantage, team doesn’t have enough fire power to recover, loses.

You certainly can’t blame last night or the series on Bryz– the Flyers were completely outplayed by a hungrier Devils team. But this image will go on the mantle of pain, right next to the one of Claude Lemieux beating Ron Hextall with a slap shot from 527 feet away.

The Washington Nationals are Running a BOGO… on Season Tickets

Kyle Scott - August 4, 2011

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Welcome to the nation's capital, ladies and gentlemen.

Thanks to reader Nick, who is unfortunately subscribed to the Nats' mailing list, for sending along their latest marketing email: Buy 2012 full season tickets and get the rest of 2011 FREE.

I find the Buy 2, Get 2 plan to be the best:

LF/RF Baseline Reserved – Buy 2 for $40 per seat, per game and get 2 FREE

LF/RF Corner – Buy 2 for $30 per seat, per game and get 2 FREE

RF Mezzanine – Buy 2 for $25 per seat, per game and get 2 FREE

 

Sounds like something you would order at Panera. I'll have the You Pick Two. You said your soup du jour was the soup of the day? That sounds good and I'll have that.

By my math, you could buy two full season tickets for 2012, and get not only an additional two FREE seats for the entire year, but also two FREE seats for the remaining 25 home games this year. That's 374 individual game seats for the price of 161. Yeah, they might want to look elsewhere for that $126 million.

The Flyers’ Season: An Analogy

Kyle Scott - May 7, 2011

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Last night, on Twitter, I posed this question to followers: This Flyers season was equivalent to __________? I received many responses. Most of them were frighteningly realistic. The plummet from pleasure to pain was palpable. Here's a summary of the Flyers' season, put into, shall we say, human terms. Godspeed.


Imagine you’re a senior in high school again: It’s late spring. Things are going surprisingly well for you. You just got into your “reach” school. You have no idea how or why, but you did it. Your grades weren’t that good- B- student at best. Your extracurriculars were non-existent. Yet, somehow, you blew your SATs out of the water and come from just enough money to entice the development office, which needs to hit an aggressive endowment goal, to lean on admissions hard enough so that they will accept you. 

Things are good. So good, in fact, that you even met a girl. It was dumb luck, really. You were coming home from picking up swag at your soon-to-be school’s – it’s local – bookstore when you ran into Briana, the delightfully sexy, yet somewhat mysterious head cheerleader at your high school. You and Briana have been neighbors since, like, forever, but despite numerous attempts to snap her bra in the sixth grade and that one time you caught a glimpse of her in her window – it was an honest accident, I mean who doesn’t position their desk chair against the side window while dim light provided by a single candle sets the mood as Dashboard Confessional massages away your anxieties? – you were never able to seal the deal. 

You were always plenty cool enough. You sit at the cool kids table, hang with the jocks, but, for some reason, could never quite land the hot girl. This is was your chance, and you made the most of it.

You somehow mustered the courage to ask Briana out. She said yes, and you were able to impress her with a charming but not cheesy day-trip to the beach, the place where she planned to spend the upcoming summer before starting at – ZOMG – the same college. 

At the end your little date, you pulled the old let’s watch the moon on the blanket routine. Incredibly, it worked. All you wanted was one kiss, but next thing you know, it’s happening: mind-blowing sex. She explained to you that she never does that, and that it was only because she felt so safe in your arms. You had your doubts, but convinced yourself that your recent trips to the gym must have paid off. Safe arms. Plus, it was a rather bright waxing-crescent.

The euphoria of that night quickly waned, however. Just a few days later, as your high school career neared its end, you found out Briana had a boyfriend. It had been a poorly kept secret for most of senior year that she was dating one of the jocks, but you chose not to believe it. Unfortunately, you weren’t just told about their relationship, you saw it. For yourself. 

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Lou Williams “Hopes” to Return for the Playoffs

Ryan Gillon - April 4, 2011

Louiggy

"So… you wanna go meet AI at Friday's?"

It may be a frustrating close to the regular season for the Sixers, as a couple of players are banged up from injuries. The most concerning, however, involves their sixth man Lou Williams. He strained his right hamstring on Friday night.

Hamstring injuries are touch-and-go, so it's always hard to tell how long a player an land on the bench, but Lou shared the following with Kate Fagan of the Inquirer, and it's not encouraging:

Fagan

Williams is averaging almost 14 points a game and he's a fourth-quarter monster for the Sixers. This would have been an easier injury to handle a few months ago. Timing is a real bitch.

With a playoff spot already clinched, the Sixers will have to hope that Williams will be able to get enough rest to play his usual role late in games when the postseason rolls around.

Here's to "hoping".

It’s Official: Amaro Says Chase Utley Will Begin the Season on the DL

Ryan Gillon - March 24, 2011

 Well, here's a shocker…as per ESPN's Jayson Stark.

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 The only question now is for how long.

I know I've been knocked for worrying too much about this specific injury, but why shouldn't I be? We lost our guy in the five-hole to the Nats who, despite what you think of him now, was great protection for Ryan Howard in the clean-up. Now, the guy we had preceding him in the lineup could be out anywhere from the next month to the end of the season.

You can only ride these four starters for so long before the issues on the offensive side begin to surmount. I like Wilson Valdez and what he was able to do as a plug-in for an injured offense. I understand and appreciate that the Phillies won 97 games in a year that saw way too many guys get hurt. I hear the argument that the Giants were able to win the World Series last year with great pitching and a subpar lineup…

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