Posts for security

Eagles Security Guards Held Drills to Practice Chasing Streakers Yesterday

Kyle Scott - August 27, 2013

Screen Shot 2013-08-27 at 3.27.52 PM

If I was a national writer, I might say something like: This is the most Philly thing ever, security guards running drills to prepare for a drunken idiot on the field.*

But I’m not. I am us. So, we’ll just assume that every city has its security guards prepare for the unthinkable by playing tag on the field one weekday in August. Or, if we’re judging by all that open space, that this was merely some extra work for the Eagles secondary:

Screen Shot 2013-08-27 at 3.28.07 PM

Video after the jump.

*I wanted to get to this yesterday, but then I was told that Randy Miller had been let go and all of a sudden my world stopped. I remembered about the security guards this afternoon. Continue Reading

Continue Reading

NFL Stadium Security is Basically Now a TSA Checkpoint

Kyle Scott - June 14, 2013

Screen Shot 2013-06-10 at 8.28.41 AM
Roger Goodell has descended from his Mt. NFL to deliver the league’s latest decree: a new security policy for what you can, but mostly can’t, bring into stadiums.

From the Eagles:

Fans are encouraged to limit the number of items they bring with them to the stadium. They will be able to carry the following style and size bag, package, or container at stadium plaza areas, stadium gates, or when approaching queue lines awaiting entry into the stadium:

• Bags that are clear plastic, vinyl or PVC and do not exceed 12” x 6” x 12.”

• One-gallon clear plastic freezer bag (Ziploc bag or similar).

• Small clutch bags, approximately the size of a hand, with or without a handle or strap, may be carried into the stadium along with one of the clear bag options.

• An exception will be made for medically necessary items after proper inspection.

Prohibited items include, but are not limited to: purses larger than a clutch bag, coolers, briefcases, backpacks, fanny packs, cinch bags, luggage of any kind, seat cushions, computer bags and camera bags or any bag larger than the permissible size.


Other than maybe seat cushions and purses, who would bring any of those items anyway? I mean, if you wear a fanny pack unironically to a professional football game, you should get your ass kicked. That’s not even up for debate. Cowboys fan, Giants fan, Eagles fan— doesn’t matter. What are you carrying in there, Chief?

Speaking of Chiefs… we’re assuming Andy Reid’s utility belt will still be allowed under the league’s new – yet unannounced – Full Moon Prevention Program.

The Phillies Added Extra Security in Right Field to Protect Bryce Harper

Kyle Scott - May 22, 2012

image from

While perusing the Washington Post for a link for the previous post (Ian Desmond, daddy), I stumbled upon this story from Nationals beat reporter Adam Kilgore, who received confirmation from Phillies Communications Czar Bonnie Clark that the team added extra security last night to protect Brycecakes: [Washington Post]

“We did take precautionary measures and added additional security in the right field area for last night’s game,” Phillies Vice President of Communications Bonnie Clark said in an e-mail. “We cannot discuss other details of the security enhancement. I am pleased to say there were no incidents during last night’s game.”


Cute. Unfortunately for Bryce, no security guard will get between him and the fastball Cole Hamels is going to put into the small of his back tomorrow. KIDDING!*

Now, while the Phillies are upping staff, maybe they can deploy a couple warm bodies to supplement the zombies running Brewerytown stands on the 300 level.

*But seriously, how awesome would it be if Cole plunked him again just for the hell of it?

Two Yinzers Ripped a PNC Park Security Guard’s Finger Off This Weekend

Kyle Scott - May 17, 2012

Screen Shot 2012-05-17 at 10.42.18 AM

I should tell you that this post is being written live from a Panera Bread, where a man, who I don’t know, decided that roughly 18 open tables didn’t suit his needs and he would plug his computer in and sit at my table, across from me. 

So I bring you this story while sharing a desk with a man I’ve never met. If my words suddenly come to halt, either John Quinones showed up… or I’m dead.

Yinzers ripped a PNC Park security guard’s finger off this weekend.


A Pittsburgh Post-Gazette story tells us about Rachel George, 21, and her father, Christopher, 50, who attacked a security guard and police officer while Rachel was being escorted out of the stadium after she was caught smoking in her seat. Things got out of hand rather quickly: 

As Pirates security supervisor Joseph Risher was escorting her out of the right field gate, Ms. George's unidentified boyfriend assaulted him and ran off. Ms. George jumped on the guard's back and started to pull him backward, the complaint says.

Her father joined in the attack, pushing him up against a fence.

"While defending himself, Mr. Risher got his left hand caught on the fence, and when he was pulled by both (defendants) his left middle finger was ripped off at the second knuckle and was hanging by a piece of skin," Detective Rende wrote in the complaint.


A police officer also injured his shoulder while placing Rachel in a stadium holding cell (yep, other cities have them too). 

Mr. Risher’s finger was later reattached during surgery. 

Classic Shittsburgh right there, folks. I mean, from their look to the act. Smoke-stained, greasy dirty blonde hair? Check. Rustic handlebar mustache accompanied by hollow, lonely eyes? Yep. Getting kicked out of a stadium for puffing on a cigg then assaulting a security guard and ripping off his fucking finger? Oh you bet. A three rivers trifecta right there.

Sadly, this won’t live on in sports infamy, but if it happened in Philly it surely would.

H/T to readers Adam, Steve, Dave, and the guy sitting acr

Parenting FAIL: Tased Fan Identified, called Dad

Kyle Scott - May 4, 2010

Steve consalvi

According to, the tasered fan at last night's Phillies game was Steve Consalvi, a 17 year senior at Boyertown High School, heading to Penn State next Fall.

He wasn't drinking.  His father said he was a "good student", and that he even called to ask if he could run onto the field before doing so.  Umm, parenting FAIL.

Consalvi told his Dad it would be "a once in a lifetime experience."  No kidding.  This is the first time Philadelphia Police have ever tasered a fan on the field.  And he's getting his 15 minutes of fame out of it too.  Well played, Steve.

According to Facebook, Consalvi likes "going to Phillies games."  Ironic.

All joking aside, the punishment didn't fit the crime here.  As awesome as it was to see wannabe Paul Blart chase after Consalvi, he was slowing down and surrounded by security.  No need to taze, bro.

Shut Up Wheels: Chris Wheeler Tells You it’s Not Cool to Run on Field

Kyle Scott - May 3, 2010

I don't know if the best part of this was the fan getting tazed (searching for video…) or the fact that Tom McCarthy said, "we have some cat running on the field."  Yes, like "cool cat", the same that your grandfather used to say. 

Either way, Chris Wheeler finds a way to annoy by telling us how uncool it is to run on the field.

Shut up Wheels.