You may be familiar with Onward State, the independent student-run Penn State website that reported Joe Paterno’s death before it happened did a great job covering the Jerry Sandusky stuff. Most of their writers, some of whom are readers (and friends?) of CB, are very good.
One guy, is not.
He is a Yinzer.
Readers Dan and Casey (which sound like an early-oughts network TV crime fighting duo) sent along a link to this article, written by Greg Schlosser… whose last name I’d argue has one too many Ss… in anticipation of TONIGHT'S BATTLE FOR PENNSYLVANIA. Or something like that.
You can read the full article here… or, the abbreviated version, with my rebuttals, as follows. Because why not?
10) Pittsburgh is a safer city
So is Amherst, New York. Your point?
9) Primanti’s sandwich > Cheesesteak
8) Pittsburgh’s statues represent real people
Honestly, it’s a little weird that the most famous statue in Philly is of some fake boxer. While Rocky Balboa did have an illustrious career, the fact that there’s a statue immortalizing him and his fake career in the city is a little odd.
"Ben Franklin, George Washington, William Penn– real? Not real? Harry Hariston goes undercover to find out, tonight at 11 on NBC 10, the only local station where Sheena Parveen goes to the bathroom!"
7) Pittsburgh has the best ballpark in the MLB
And the worst baseball team in the MLB.
6) There’s no jail in Heinz Field
Perhaps they should add one…