And Now, Pictures of Chase Utley and His Dog, Roy Halladay Scooping Ice Cream, and A Rod Playing with His Nuts


Notice in 1/3 of a page we see "PSPCA" twice?

These pictures come via Matt Porter, staff writer for the Palm Beach Post.

How the hell did Marlins owner Jeffery Loria's wife get Chase Utley, Roy Halladay, Alex Rodriguez and others to pose for her cookbook?

I'm guessing the conversations went something like this:

Agent: Chase, will you pose for the cookbook of an NL East owner's wife?

Chase: Absolutely not.

Jen (in background): You can help support the animals, Chase. – inaudible – Put him at your feet and look coy.

Chase: OK, I'm in. Can I wear stone-washed jeans?

Agent: You can wear stone-washed jeans.




Agent: Um, I know what you're going to say, but just hear me out…

Halladay: No.

Agent: … they want you to be in a cookbook.

Halladay: I don't cook… I gather.

Agent: – puzzled – You can show off your big, safe hands.

Halladay: …

Agent: It's ice cream. Chooch likes ice cream.

Halladay: Brandy does always say I look good doing domestic things in the three-button thin-stripe polo she bought me for Dorfman's birthday party at Smith & Wollensky.

Agent: Excellent.


A-Rod… after the jump.

H/T to (@herecomestreb1e)



Agent: Hey, got a proposition.

Rodriguez: What's her name?

Agent: It's a cookbook.

Rodriguez: Is she hot?

Agent: … – wipes face – Yes. But you need to take a few pictures for her.

Rodriguez: Can I squeeze my nuts like so, untuck the back of my shirt, and look like my favorite animal, a centaur, so as to show the world that I can do things on my own?

Agent: You got it.


Plenty more pics can be found on Porter's Twitter timeline… hither.


  1. That was actually pretty funny. Well done.

  2. Doc deserves to treat himself

  3. A-Roid likes salty nuts.

  4. A+ post. More of this.

  5. “I don’t cook… I gather.” hahaha

  6. Aroid “can I make a life size, cardboard cutout version of it so I can stare at myself?”
    Agent “Sure, just don’t let somebody catching you do it this time”

  7. You know what they say about men with big hands . . . LADIES. ; )

  8. hilarious.

  9. …………………..big gloves?

  10. Utley’s dog can tell there’s something wrong with his knee. See paw placement.

  11. this is hilarious.

  12. Roy Halladay does not gather. ROY HALLADAY HUNTS.
    Good grief, Kyle.

  13. “… stone-washed jeans…”
    “… the three-button thin-stripe polo she bought me… at Smith & Wollensky.”
    “… untuck the back of my shirt…”
    Face it Laddie-Boy, you’re flamingly obbsessed with men’s fashion as sure as a hairy cunt attracts dried and puetrified quim juice.

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