Your Monday Morning Roundup: The Flyers Are Scoring Left And Right, But The Phillies Are Just Playing With Themselves

Screen Shot 2012-04-23 at 9.35.48 AM
via (@ChelsCoyle)
 

I call this lede dichotomy

The Flyers have… goals: [via the Flyers’ city-leading PR department]

The Flyers had 12 power play goals in the series, breaking the franchise record of 11 set in the 1989 Division Finals against Pittsburgh.  

The Flyers had 30 goals in the series, which sets a new franchise record for goals in a six-game series.  The previous record was 26 in the 1996 ECQF vs. Tampa Bay. 

The 26 goals scored by the Penguins tied the Flyers franchise record for goals allowed in a six-game series.  The New York Islanders scored 26 goals in the 1980 Finals. 

Claude Giroux finished the series with 14 points, becoming just the second Flyer ever to reach that total in a single playoff series.  The Flyers franchise record is 15 points, established by Tim Kerr in the 1989 Patrick Division Semifinals with 10 goals and 5 assists, also against Pittsburgh.    

 

And with that, Giroux not only asserted himself as the alpha male of the series and perhaps the playoffs, but he also entered the conversation as one of the greatest players in the world. After the game, Peter Laviolette snuck that reference into his post-game press conference: 

Q: Peter, can you talk about Giroux’s leadership, how he’s grown in the last couple of years into more of a leadership type role? 

“Not only leadership but his game tonight was monstrous, it really was.  When the best player in the world comes up to you and tells you, “I don’t know who you’re planning on starting tonight, but I want that first shift”, that says everything you need to know about Claude Giroux right there.”

 

Subtle, Pete. Subtle. 

We’ll obviously have much more Flyers coverage throughout the day and week… but let’s briefly turn our attention to the city’s baseball team, the Philadelphia Phillies, who managed a whopping 11 hits in the final two games (both losses) of their series against the lowly San Diego Padres. 

On Saturday, they pissed away another strong pitching performance, this one by Roy Halladay. And yesterday, were nearly shutout until they managed to sneak a run across the plate in the ninth inning.

This is what Phillies fans looked like after Saturday night’s loss: 

Screen Shot 2012-04-23 at 9.37.21 AM

via (@AMOOREon) 

It gets worse: As you likely already know, Cliff Lee has gone on the DL with a strained oblique– an injury that has popped up during each of the last two springs.

That, or this:

Screen Shot 2012-04-23 at 9.58.01 AM 

In five of their last six games, the Phillies have been held to two runs or less.They are second to last in all of baseball in runs scored (43), 13 ahead of the lowly Pirates, but nine behind the Oakland As. They are last in the league in total bases (171) despite being in the middle of the pack in hits. They are tied for second to last in home runs (7) and slugging percentage (.317).

And here’s why all of that really sucks: The Phillies pitching staff has the second best ERA in the league (2.46), behind Washington.  

The pitchers are playing with themselves. No matter how glorious it may be (or how good it feels, at times), the aces and Jonathan Papelbon are without a partner. Without hitters. They’re employing next level masturbatory techniques – watermelons, apple pies, fleshlights – but it’s all for naught. Instead of post-thrust euphoria, afterward they’re just left with shame. Why did I waste two hours DOING THAT? Now I have to clean this white residue off my hat. Am I going to go blind?! These are all of the things they are thinking and more. Their efforts are futile, performed alone, and without the aid of a partner. I feel the same way after watching Phillies games as I do when I watch my parents' nutless dog hump his toy for hours on end– sad and dirty.

Let’s hit it.

 

But first, a word from our sponsors

- Visit Drinker’s Philadelphia locations during all Flyers and Phillies games and get $1 hot dogs. Also, $2 PBRs and $3 SoCO and Limes all day, every day. Instead of cramming into a packed Xfinity Live!, stop by a Drinker’s location to watch the game – with full sound – and come out with your wallet still having some heft to it.

- Have drinks with Steve Carlton. This Friday, April 27, head to Teca in West Chester to hang with perhaps the greatest Phillies pitcher of all-time. Details and tickets here.

Knock, knock. Grab your Mac Miller-inspired t-shirt from out friends at Philly Phaithful. Have it in time for Round 2! Get one here.

Yes, there are tickets for the Eastern Conference Semifinals available on Crossing Broad Tickets. Get in to Game 1 for as low as $179. See them all here

 

The roundup

We’re not doing links today. Just a roundup of Flyers nonsense.

Screen Shot 2012-04-23 at 9.32.29 AM

via (@jrsgillespie)

Screen Shot 2012-04-23 at 10.02.50 AM

via (@recordsANDradio)

  Screen Shot 2012-04-23 at 10.03.42 AM

via (@JakePavorsky)

 

Screen Shot 2012-04-23 at 9.34.46 AM

via (@MUSCLEZ_MALLON)

  Screen Shot 2012-04-23 at 9.35.12 AM

via (@JENNYD72)

 

Matthew Barnaby's son is, apparently, a Flyers fan:

Screen Shot 2012-04-23 at 9.37.05 AM

via (@MattBarnaby3636) 

Even ESPN is trying to get Michael Leighton on the ice. via reader John, who apparently gets his sports news on an iPod:

Screen Shot 2012-04-23 at 9.43.50 AM 

Finally,  a famous Vancouver strip club’s way of making a joke at the expense of Mike Richards and Jeff Carter (who advanced to the second round last night)… this picture comes to us via reader Craig, who says that it was taken yesterday and not Photoshopped:

Screen Shot 2012-04-23 at 9.40.36 AM

That Kings-Flyers Final is alive and kicking…

28 Comments

  1. Hey
    Does anyone think Ryan Howards’ RBI and HR numbers are meaningless anymore ??
    Love,
    Beez Nutz

  2. Jeff Carter's coke dealer

    April 23, 2012 at 10:29 am

    I’ll hook up Carts n Richie in the cup

  3. Ryan Howard alone isn’t saving this offense. Entire offense right now is hitting historically bad with RISP.

  4. Why is no one listening?
    I’ve been telling you since October 2011.
    Howard will not play in 2012.
    This team is cooked.

  5. 30+ 100+ would help right about now!

  6. Jeff Carter's coke dealer

    April 23, 2012 at 10:50 am

    Jeff does 3 eight balls a day

  7. Phils need to tell Mayberry to beat it back to aaa & dfa Thome. Call up the bust Dom brown & scott podesek.
    Also I would finger the chick sitting down in sd stands a-hole.

  8. Andy (San Diego)

    April 23, 2012 at 11:05 am

    Time to trade Dom Brown for David Wright.
    . . .or at least start playing him in LF.

  9. phillies suck

  10. Right now its just awful…yet we’re at the same record as last year, but I don’t see the hussle or want to win. Pence looks horrible, guys aren’t hitting, they’re impatient at the plate. Thome’s not hitting because he’s not getting playing time. I think there are TO MANY utility players.
    IF Howard and Utley come back, they’re not going to be 100%-to-say, and will only help out a little.
    I have phaith in this team and think they can win, but right now they look lost and are playing with old players. At what point in the season do you say time for change and start moving players for younger?

  11. Im in the minority on this Thome thing
    i’d rather them put him in for a week and see what happens…. he needs AB’s before they can make a decision.
    Regardless he will historically get on base at about a higher clip than the guys on this team (even last years numbers)
    He’s the only guy they could put in who realistically can drive in runs (bc you cant bench Pierre right now for Mayberry). And its your best chance to even out the lineup
    The reward far outweighs the risk at this point
    Love,
    Beez Nutz

  12. NO ONE wants Dom Brown.
    Including the Phillies.
    Any trade suggestion with his name in it is silly. Especially for an All Star.

  13. NHL.com’s Dan Rosen had the Penguins beating Vancouver for the Stanley Cup with Marc-Andre Fleury being the series MVP.

  14. I’m surprised ESPN managed to get 12 people to make predictions on any hockey series since the network basically thumbed their noses at the sport and ignored it ever since they lost the rights to broadcast the NHL to Versus/NBC Sports Network.

  15. I just dumped in my hand and then tasted it! Go Rangers!

  16. If you think ESPN’s Expert Picks are bad, take a look at SI.com’s….
    http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2012/hockey/nhl/04/11/staff.playoff.picks/index.html?sct=hp_t11_a13&eref=sihp
    Then read how the Flyers are NOW the team to beat….
    http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2012/writers/allan_muir/04/22/flyers.penguins/index.html?sct=nhl_t2_a9
    This is why the media SUCK! Not Crossing Broad, however, cause you guys are a blog. Totally different.

  17. Brian Dawkins retired…give the man a coaching job.

  18. Espn has analysts like the penguins fan who goes to temple making these predictions. Clueless

  19. Best quote from that SI link: “If [Crosby] stays healthy throughout the tournament, he’ll produce at big moments and lead the Penguins while reminding his critics why he’s the league’s marquee star.”

  20. Roy Halladay has a higher batting average than Rollins, Pence, Galvis, Polanco, Nix, Mayberry, and Thome. Higher than Thome in five fewer at-bats.

  21. No comments about the great rack on the crying Phillies fan?

  22. EVERYONE
    Please note … Todd Zolecki has stolen my Jim Thome idea
    W T F !!!!!
    Internet Legend Beez Nutz deserves his credit
    NO LOVE TODD,
    Beez Nutz

  23. Pence looks horrible?! He’s freaking carrying the entire offense this year…just had a bad game yesterday.

  24. I been playing knock knocks all day. G is da man
    Ain.t nutin but a g thang baby

  25. But guys, i dumped in my hand and tasted it! And no comments about the great bod on the guy behind the girl in the crying phils fan pic?

  26. Todd Pence hasnt had a hit in 15 ABs. totally carrying the offense

  27. Christian 'JAR" Stengel

    April 23, 2012 at 3:58 pm

    My TBC team coached by Mr Mcdonald & Mr Kilmilo could beat the phillies

  28. Teez let’s meet up at a singles mingles event girlfriend!

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