Burrelled: Pat Burrell was Spotted Dancing Shirtless at an After Hours Club Early This Morning

Kyle Scott —  May 19, 2012 — 34 Comments

Screen Shot 2012-05-19 at 9.11.55 AM
Oh no. It’s begun.
 

A video from our friends at BirdText.com warned us of this fateful day– May 19, 2012, when Pat Burrell returns to Philadelphia to retire as a Phillie… and, quote, “fuck every pussy he sees.”

The Bat wasted no time getting after it early this morning. We’ll let an anonymous reader fill you in with this unedited email, which was sent at 5:03 a.m.:  

I work at a bar in center city and usually get done fairly close to 2am. So after a long night of work I go to the Pen and Pencil so grab some beers (don't know if you heard of the place). Well guess what? Tonight I get done close to 2 roll to the pnp and go to grab some beers at the bar. Guess who I see dancing like an idiot and wearing a blazer with clearly no shirt on underneath? The one and only Pat Burrell. I roll up and say whats up to him and go to enjoy my beers and relax. My other buddy from work shows up and points to the table that Pat the Bat is sitting at, and guess who else has joined this table of smoking hot blondes? Chase motherfucking Utley, sitting there drinking a lager. Needless to say, I wasnt surprised to see Pat the Bat acting like an asshole in the PNP at 3am but Chase sure was. He left a little after 3 shortly after Pat left with some mediocre looking brunette.  

 

Ahh! It’s happening. Everything is happening just like the video said! 

Somewhat skeptical of any email I receive between the hours of 2-6 a.m., I quick Twitter searched for any other sightings.

We have one:

Screen Shot 2012-05-19 at 8.28.58 AMIt’s important to note that Burrell rocking blazer-over-bare chest at the Pen and Pencil Club is delightfully ridiculous. The members-only bar bills itself as “the nation’s oldest press club.” It was established in 1892 as a place for scriptuals to gather and regale each other with tales of the day. And to get really drunk. They probably got really drunk there. The club is operated by several members of the Inquirer, Daily News, and other local outlets.  

Burrell and Utley were always good friends and drinking buddies, so it’s no surprise they were out together. Quite frankly, the whole scene makes me a little misty-eyed, longing for the days of yesteryear when Chase Utley had knees and Pat Burrell could be spotted on any given Friday night dancing shirtless at an after-hours club.

Never forget.

UPDATE: Burrell was at the Irish Pub, too.

Screen Shot 2012-05-19 at 9.49.02 AMA few folks in the comments provides additional details, but take those with a grain of salt.

Kyle Scott

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34 responses to Burrelled: Pat Burrell was Spotted Dancing Shirtless at an After Hours Club Early This Morning

  1. Burrell and Utley were at The Cafe which is connected to the Irish Pub until about 1:30am then they left with some flooseys

  2. Please please PLEASE let this be true!!!

  3. I know Utley is married, isnt Burrell? Guess boys will be boys…

  4. kyle scott is a bitch May 19, 2012 at 9:36 am

    Kyle can you make me a facebook site for my blog?

  5. I am not making this up, I was taking a piss next to him at the Irish pub and asked him if it was nice to be back in his old stomping grounds and his response … “I’m tired of taking all this dick out to take a piss”

  6. I wouldn’t expect anything less

  7. Glad to Utley’s rehab is coming along well…

  8. This is hardly a good Burrell story. Glad he was back at it though one more time.

  9. Utley is cooked and Pat likes man bat.

  10. The shirtless/blazer look says that I’m not entirely trash, but I’m ready for three o’clock slop. I’m supportive of it.

  11. I was at bed bath and beyond early this morning and i saw richard simmons and sal fasano buying shit wipe and some candles no bullshit

  12. The Bat, while sticking it in some broad’s ass in the Irish Pub bathroom (circa early 2000′s):
    “Your pussy is so jealous right now.”

  13. My wife and I were at Target last night and we saw Jim Fregosi wearing a diaper fingerbanging a mannequin. He even asked me to smell his fingers. No bullshit.

  14. The Sal Fasano thing made me roll

  15. @KingofBlueBell May 19, 2012 at 1:04 pm

    Heard a story at the local bar that after PTB sexed a woman he asked, “How’s it feel to have just fucked Pat Burrell?”

  16. I wanna get Burrelled. Lol

  17. “A few folks in the comments provides additional details, but take those with a grain of salt.”
    But that other shit, it was on *Twitter*, so it has to be true.

  18. I fuck better that PTB

  19. Todd Van Poppel May 19, 2012 at 7:13 pm

    Bat loves fuvking

  20. Pat the Bat knocked up a lady I work with daughter back in 2007. She’s setup for life now for keeping that hush hush $$ from the media & his wife

  21. X Live Panty Dropper May 19, 2012 at 7:42 pm

    I was at bed bath and beyond early this morning and i saw richard simmons and sal fasano buying shit wipe and some candles no bullshit
    Posted by: Frank G. | May 19, 2012 at 12:01 PM
    The Bat, while sticking it in some broad’s ass in the Irish Pub bathroom (circa early 2000′s):
    “Your pussy is so jealous right now.”
    Posted by: RF | May 19, 2012 at 12:13 PM
    My wife and I were at Target last night and we saw Jim Fregosi wearing a diaper fingerbanging a mannequin. He even asked me to smell his fingers. No bullshit.
    Posted by: Crispy | May 19, 2012 at 12:18 PM
    Three stellar contributions in a row.

  22. So i was at 32 a few years back. I walk into the bathroom, and Burrell is there. He is standing in front of the sink shaking uncontrollably. I go to wash my hands at the sink next to where Pat was, and I see that he is washing his dick in the sink.
    I ask him why he is doing that, he says “My wife is meeting me here in a few minutes, I have to wipe the lipstick off….”
    Legend.

  23. 3 Finger Lenny May 19, 2012 at 11:49 pm

    I’ll never forget seeing him plowing some chick in the Irish pub bathroom stall in June 2005. Legend

  24. 3 Finger Lenny May 19, 2012 at 11:50 pm

    Btw he was coke blocking me by using that stall for sex

  25. Man is a Legend

  26. My fav pat the bat encounter was when I was intoxicated yelling @ him across the street from the irish pub & Todd Pratt pulled down his pants & mooned me. He had a tan ass

  27. I saw Pat the Bat the other night at the PJ Whelihans in Haddonfield. He was doing a Chili Dog on some blonde in the stall next to me… No Shit!

  28. Chance from the falcons May 20, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    I have an inside source in the Phils front office that pat the bat requested to make sure his retirement ceremony was before memorial day. He told uncle Dave Montgomery he didn’t want to lose half the chick litter to the shore

  29. dave hollins will kill u May 20, 2012 at 12:45 pm

    I saw Pat the Bat at mad river last night finger blasting some chick in the nude j-mich was there picking up the left over slop while eric brunlett was wearing assless chaps video taping it all….chase was just chilling taken ground balls outfront..NO SHIT

  30. Lmao ^^^^^

  31. Some classic responses on here. Lmao.
    Pat & Chase deserve each other. Two fucking assholes. Not that I’m jealous….nah.

  32. I saw Pat the Bat have sex on the counter in the kitchen of the Dark Horse Pub with three midgets dressed in Mets uniforms. Then he banged my girlfriend on the bar.

  33. I saw Pat the Bat have sex on the counter in the kitchen of the Dark Horse Pub with three midgets dressed in Mets uniforms. Then he banged my girlfriend on the bar.

  34. On 18 May Pat the Bat went to Chestnut Hill College and had sex with three nuns dressed as Devilrays to celebrate his WS win. A priest asked to join but Pat let him know he was no switch hitter. Pat could never play the infield because he always went beyond third base.

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