A video from our friends at BirdText.com warned us of this fateful day– May 19, 2012, when Pat Burrell returns to Philadelphia to retire as a Phillie… and, quote, “fuck every pussy he sees.”
The Bat wasted no time getting after it early this morning. We’ll let an anonymous reader fill you in with this unedited email, which was sent at 5:03 a.m.:
I work at a bar in center city and usually get done fairly close to 2am. So after a long night of work I go to the Pen and Pencil so grab some beers (don't know if you heard of the place). Well guess what? Tonight I get done close to 2 roll to the pnp and go to grab some beers at the bar. Guess who I see dancing like an idiot and wearing a blazer with clearly no shirt on underneath? The one and only Pat Burrell. I roll up and say whats up to him and go to enjoy my beers and relax. My other buddy from work shows up and points to the table that Pat the Bat is sitting at, and guess who else has joined this table of smoking hot blondes? Chase motherfucking Utley, sitting there drinking a lager. Needless to say, I wasnt surprised to see Pat the Bat acting like an asshole in the PNP at 3am but Chase sure was. He left a little after 3 shortly after Pat left with some mediocre looking brunette.
Ahh! It’s happening. Everything is happening just like the video said!
Somewhat skeptical of any email I receive between the hours of 2-6 a.m., I quick Twitter searched for any other sightings.
We have one:
It’s important to note that Burrell rocking blazer-over-bare chest at the Pen and Pencil Club is delightfully ridiculous. The members-only bar bills itself as “the nation’s oldest press club.” It was established in 1892 as a place for scriptuals to gather and regale each other with tales of the day. And to get really drunk. They probably got really drunk there. The club is operated by several members of the Inquirer, Daily News, and other local outlets.
Burrell and Utley were always good friends and drinking buddies, so it’s no surprise they were out together. Quite frankly, the whole scene makes me a little misty-eyed, longing for the days of yesteryear when Chase Utley had knees and Pat Burrell could be spotted on any given Friday night dancing shirtless at an after-hours club.
UPDATE: Burrell was at the Irish Pub, too.