For Realsies For A Moment: Don’t Be An Idiot If You Go To D.C. This Weekend

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They had bases made… cute

Last night, reader Ryan sent me an email with something that was posted on the Nationals Facebook page. I couldn’t find the link to see it for myself, but that doesn’t matter. The message is a good one:

Emotions will be running high this weekend, so please be on your guard, Natstown. This website is a reminder of the dangerous situations you may find yourself in at the park and how to keep yourself safe.

Hopefully, we will all escape this weekend unscathed and not throw rocks at hornets’ nests again!


While the rhetoric surrounding the game (from us, radio stations and even the Nationals themselves) has reached extraordinary heights, we must point out that it’s a sporting event. Entertainment. Despite the military-grade terms being thrown around, it’s all in good fun. Sports rivalries are healthy and the perfect way for the common man (or woman) to feel like he (or she) has a cause to fight for. A greater good, if you will.  

Philly fans get a bad rap, undeservingly so. Bad stuff happens everywhere. This you know. That fucking rhymed! But, especially with our trip coinciding with ESPN’s national telecast on Sunday night, any incident will be yet another line on the endless list of bad Philly fan behavior compiled by the national media. We don’t want that. We don’t want anyone to get hurt, fight, or do anything similarly stupid. 

Our group will come in relative peace. We may take over, but we’re not going to be idiots… even if we’re not all that smart (derp). We’re going to be loud, support the Phillies, laugh at the Nationals, heckle the bejesus out of Jayson Werth, and perhaps have a drink or two– not start trouble or pick fights. I’ve mentioned this to every reporter I’ve spoken to about our trip. It’s a game, folks. And we expect that our rival Nats fans understand this, too… all six of them (I’M KIDDING– look, my tongue is in my cheek, the way chicks do when they make blow job face).  

It’s an early May baseball game. I think that all of us – both Philly and D.C. folk – can agree that there are much more important things to genuinely quarrel over. Sports are entertainment, and that’s the way I’ve always ran this site. Yes, we plan on showing up, being loud and supporting our team, but we also respect that everyone in attendance – Nats fan or otherwise – is entitled to do the same.  And those of you who are coming on our buses will be reminded of that before we leave our fine city. 

Now if you'll excuse me… I have to unbunch my underwear.


  1. Why are the Phillies co-branding with Walgreens? I don’t understand where the synergies will come from.

  2. Just wanted to say thanks to you and your reader Ryan, for mentioning our organization, Fans Against Violence. It is unfortunate that people take things to such extremes. When people are afraid to take their families to a game that is supposed to be our “national pass time”, it says so much. Please take a moment and think before you react. Nothing is worth your life or the life of another. It’s time to get back to what sports are all about. “The love of the game”. I hope everyone stays safe and has a great time. Thanks again for your post. You can also follow us on facebook at or on twitter @FansAV.

  3. Act like you’ve been there.

  4. Charlie Brown

    May 4, 2012 at 2:27 pm

    Have you read the comments on almost all of your posts? Good luck with the idea of idiot Phillies fans not getting out of hand.
    I’m with you, no need to damage an already shaky reputation. So to all of the idiots, try and act normal. Take over the stadium, but do it the same way it was done when WE went down there for our season opener and the legendary DOC debut.

  5. The alure of Citizens Bank has fallen off with the team thus far. I have been to 3 games and they have been brutal to watch. It’s like sitting at an Orioles game, except I would rather be at Camden Yards then the Bank lately. Nats fans will come around, even if it takes another month or two of wrecking every team with their pitching…

  6. “…the way chicks do when they make blow job face”
    what is the point of this?

  7. 3 Finger Lenny

    May 4, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    Going be great when that wip bus of white trash goes to Washington & start all these fights when they lose

  8. to give you a mental picture, now shutup and make me a sammich

  9. I’m taking my fanhood to Newark, NJ and rooting on the Fly Guys on Sunday. A early series in May without two of our best hitters isn’t as important as a series turning win the Flyers will get.

  10. Of course you post this after getting everyone riled up.

  11. Frank G. Dyrzdek

    May 4, 2012 at 5:47 pm

    I can’t fucking wait for this game…theres no doubt in my mind that i am getting back on that bus with a nats fans blood all over my knuckles…I’am bringing a switch blade that I’am gonna hide in my sock some nats fan is gonna get gutted…go phils!!!!!!

  12. Rip Hamilton is 1 ugly mother fucker

    May 4, 2012 at 11:03 pm

    I can’t wait to fuck some Nats fans up tomorrow

  13. “Philly fans get a bad rap, undeservingly so.”
    Kyle. Do me a favor. Please. Stop typing this shit. Phillies fans are awful. Fucking admit it. I dont care if bad fans are all around the country. That doesn’t make it right. Admit that Phillies fans are terrible. Then try to rehabilitate their image.

  14. Edward Murphy

    May 5, 2012 at 12:36 am

    I will be there with signs to make sure that there are no fights


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