Cliff Lee Thinks the Phillies’ Offense Sucks Too

What I did last night instead of watching the Phillies game: went to the mall, bought two fitted hats.

And then I treated Ms. CB to a high-rolling night out at TGI Fridays– we entered the restaurant at around the fifth inning – when the Indians had a 4-0 lead – and we asked to be seated within view of a TV.

Maybe we shouldn’t have.

I glanced at the screen as the game went to commercial and noticed that the Phillies had one hit. One goddamn hit. Against Trevor Bauer, who I never heard of until yesterday.

You know who else noticed that the Phillies offense had one goddamn hit through five? The pitcher, Cliff Lee: [Matt Gelb on Sulia]

“They pretty much pounded us both games, there’s no way around it,” Lee said. “They crushed us both games. It was never really close, either one of them. We have to have a little more pride than that and figure out a way to at least get back into games and make it somewhat competitive. Both games, it was never close.”

The Phillies have lost two games to the Indians by a combined score of – yeah – 20-2, perhaps thanks to the fact that they have outfielders that can’t, you know, hit:

The Fire Rube train is now boarding.


  1. I never got a chance to pitch

    May 2, 2013 at 9:06 am

    That’s all very well and good, and I certainly agree with Clifton that they need to have more pride than what they showed. It’s very true the outfielders can’t hit. However, giving up 5 runs in 6 innings isn’t conducive to winning ballgames, either.

    • Razor Ramone

      May 2, 2013 at 9:44 am

      DFA Ben Revere

    • no pissing excellence for lee as he gave up 9 hits and 4 ER in just 6 innings. there’s just too much inconsistency across the board for this team. maybe a sweep of the marlins this weekend can get things going again for them.

  2. What hats did you get

  3. hats? $4 long islands at TGIF must have went down nicw watching that horseshit.

  4. Offense sucks, pitching sucks, baserunning sucks, management sucks. This is the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

  5. Ben Revere got a hit last night so that’s something positive, right?
    But really, how did Ben hit .290 last year for the Twins? He is SO overmatched against major league pitching.

  6. Predictable that you’d take a pass on killing your man crush, Clifton Phifer.

    Yes the offense sucks. But Cliff and Roy and Cole haven’t been great either.

  7. marty janetty

    May 2, 2013 at 9:17 am

    I’m not expecting you to be Keith Law with these prospects, but never hearing of Trevor Bauer? Your baseball knowledge takes a hit….

    • Yeah, Bauer was one of the top pitching prospects last year right? Guy is supposed to be a beast. I think he was originally in the D-Backs farm system. Dude looked pretty nasty last night…

      Last time I saw that name, Shawn Michaels kicked you through a plate glass window…

  8. The pitching hasn’t been good either. Bad pitching, bad hitting, mental mistakes, mediocre defense…

    It’s a long season. Get it together.


  9. Even worse, since Trevor Bauer was longtime Arizona and thus National League prospect too.

    I’ll guess we’ll have to chime in when Oscar Taveras gets called up as well so that we can fill in the blanks for you.

  10. Charlie out. The players aren’t responding at all and we have given him far, far too much leeway for one championship when he should have at least two and possibly three by now.

  11. From wiki…
    Bill James, in his essay titled “The 96 Families of Hitters”[4] uses seven different categories for classification by OPS:

    Category Classification OPS Range
    A Great .9000 and Higher
    B Very Good .8333 to .8999
    C Above Average .7667 to .8333
    D Average .7000 to .7666
    E Below Average .6334 to .6999
    F Poor .5667 to .6333
    G Atrocious .5666 and Lower

  12. Guess ‘Big Poker” ain’t swinging his dick around this morning, eh Kyle? I’m sure him and Homer are spooning in a closet somewhere, wondering where it all went so wrong.

  13. ThePhillyFlash

    May 2, 2013 at 9:29 am

    Only the Phillies could be given six walks by one pitcher in five innings and STILL not score. Talk about an amazing bout of ineptitude to cap off a 20-2 demolition by Cleveland. Pathetic. I’m still maintaining patience, but it’s getting harder to do all the time, if the Phils don’t take at least three of four from the dead in the water Marlins this weekend, then maybe it’s time to start contemplating a fire sale.

  14. A baseball fan/sports blogger doesn’t know who Trevor Bauer is? Only at Crossing Broad, lades and gentlemen.

  15. Talbot's Fucking Penis

    May 2, 2013 at 9:56 am

    You blog like a woman. How does “We have to have a little more pride than that and figure out a way to at least get back into games and make it somewhat competitive.” = “Offense sucks”? No matter what gets said, you’ll find a way to take it the wrong way…you know, like a woman does.

  16. Talbot's Fucking Penis

    May 2, 2013 at 10:09 am

    Nicely played, ma’am.

  17. And how about that bunt by Revere? Bunting into a fielders choice? Fuck that!

    • ThePhillyFlash

      May 2, 2013 at 10:15 am

      All part of the rampant stupidity that’s gripping this team right now. And since we can’t depend on Uncle Charlie for any managerial strategy, don’t look for things to get any better.

  18. Dr Stinkynuts

    May 2, 2013 at 10:18 am

    Few new rules in the clubhouse should shake things up a bit:
    1.) Any Phillie who chases a ball with a 2-0 or 3-1 count receives a ball-tap
    2.) If you jog on the base paths you can go back to Oakland
    3.) Any hitter who strands a runner on 3rd with less than two outs receives a ball-tap.
    4.) If you sit in the bullpen during games, you will be forced to pay for all concessions

  19. The phillies offense is like a dying baby squirrel…someone should put them out of their misery but Kyle is going to go eat a burger instead…

  20. Crossing Broad Memes

    May 2, 2013 at 10:39 am

    Bashes nationals fans for being bandwagon jumpers that don’t care about the team. Goes clothes shopping with his girlfriend during Phillies game.

    Posts article saying how facial hair makes him manly. Goes clothes shopping with his girlfriend during a baseball game.

    • You missed one!

      “Bashes Bryz for giving up two goals when Flyers score zero. Gives Lee and Halladay a pass for getting shelled, rips offense instead.”

      • The Offense does fucking BLOW. It Does.

        25th in OBP
        24th in slg%
        26th in OPS
        27th in walks
        22nd in total bases
        3rd in total payroll

        The offense sucks, it’s easy to see.

        With that said they are also 26th in ERA so both sides of the coin have sucked ass pretty much, but my son isn’t wrong to bash this terrible offense. Ok Son?

        • I never said the offense doesn’t blow. It absolutely does.

          Just pointing out Kyle’s hypocrisy with players he has wet dreams about vs players he never gave a chance to.

    • ThePhillyFlash

      May 2, 2013 at 10:53 am

      Well, after sitting through that miserable shitstorm of a game last night, I wish I had gone clothes shopping instead. Sometimes, Kyle is smarter than he lets on.

    • Not setting up a golf outing for candy from the oak

  21. Lafferty, Daniel

    May 2, 2013 at 2:26 pm

    How in the hell can you be a sports (mainly baseball) blogger and not know of Trevor Bauer?

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