What I did last night instead of watching the Phillies game: went to the mall, bought two fitted hats.
And then I treated Ms. CB to a high-rolling night out at TGI Fridays– we entered the restaurant at around the fifth inning – when the Indians had a 4-0 lead – and we asked to be seated within view of a TV.
Maybe we shouldn’t have.
I glanced at the screen as the game went to commercial and noticed that the Phillies had one hit. One goddamn hit. Against Trevor Bauer, who I never heard of until yesterday.
You know who else noticed that the Phillies offense had one goddamn hit through five? The pitcher, Cliff Lee: [Matt Gelb on Sulia]
“They pretty much pounded us both games, there’s no way around it,” Lee said. “They crushed us both games. It was never really close, either one of them. We have to have a little more pride than that and figure out a way to at least get back into games and make it somewhat competitive. Both games, it was never close.”
The Phillies have lost two games to the Indians by a combined score of – yeah – 20-2, perhaps thanks to the fact that they have outfielders that can’t, you know, hit:
Phillies outfielders have a .601 OPS, which is now the worst mark in baseball. The Marlins had been holding the basement until today.
— Todd Zolecki (@ToddZolecki) May 2, 2013
The Fire Rube train is now boarding.