Roy Halladay’s Surgeon Could Cut You with His Stare

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Or cutter you.

I’m assuming that Roy Halladay took a long, deep look into Neal ElAttrache’s penetrating eyes as the dreamboat doctor told Doc that he would need to have a bone spur pulled out of his shoulder, and at that point Roy knew… oh he knew– ElAttrache and the misplaced capital letter that no one seems to question would be the ones to rock Roy’s world back three years or so.

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Halladay decided to have his surgery performed by ElAttrache in Los Angeles next Wednesday. This past Wednesday, Halladay had this to say about the man who entered his life and understood him right away: []

“I liked him, I thought he was spot-on,” Halladay said on Wednesday in San Francisco, when he announced that he would need surgery. “I had seen him before I did the MRIs. He pretty much told me before I even went in the MRI what he thought. And when the MRI came back, it was almost spot-on with what he said. I really liked him and I was very confident with him.”

Dreamboat Neil has operated on many athletes and celebrities, including: Zach Greinke, Ryan Seacrest, Mariano Rivera, Tom Brady, RG III, the rapists Bryant (Achilles tear) and Roethlisberger, Sly Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Blake Griffin, Georges St-Pierre and many others. So Doc is in good, strong hands… which I’m sure will put him back together for whichever team Halladay pitches for next year. Fuck.

Mostly related: an email from a CB reader yesterday:

How fucking incompetent are the Phillies’ doctors? In fact, all of the local team doctors? None of them EVER seem to know what’s wrong with the injured players. Then they talk to another doctor from another city and they say “oh yeah… you got some big ass bone spurs back there.”



  1. Don’t you put Ryan Seacrest in the category of celebrity ever again. Do you hear me, Scott?! Also, when is the golf outing?

  2. Candy from the Oak

    May 10, 2013 at 8:59 am

    I heard he hurt his shoulder jerking off to Howard nose fucking his wife

    • DirtyDownSouth

      May 10, 2013 at 1:33 pm

      DAMN! If she could fit Howard’s nose in there, what’s that sayin’ about her Big Piece Box???

  3. ThePhillyFlash

    May 10, 2013 at 9:01 am

    Pfft! Maybe Halladay should divorce his wife and shack up with ElMariachi. “I really liked him and I was very confident with him”. Jesus! That sounded like something a college girl would say after a first date with the BMOC.

    Meanwhile, that CB reader was dead on about how incompetent team doctors are in this town, none moreso than the four blind men who gave Andrew Bynum a clean bill of health last year. Outrageous!

  4. Scott Excell's Tan

    May 10, 2013 at 9:08 am

    looks intense like Doc on the mound

  5. it was quite obvious way back in spring training that doc was not himself and seemed to struggling with some type of internal injury. the fact that it has taken this long for a diagnosis and the fact that it had to come from an independent doctor is a true testament to the incompetence of the phillies medical staff.

  6. I would finger blast his wife & then smell my fingers

  7. Duses all Playing God Alec Baldwin

  8. did they both call each other doc?

  9. Taggert house

    May 10, 2013 at 3:16 pm

    I would love to treat his wife to a nice dinner cooked by Jade at the tatters house and then give her some desert with my cock

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