Eagles Beat Writers are Already Whining About Something at Training Camp

Slow morning today. I golfed. Not well. Shot a 106 on a par 65. Good news? My orange pants looked spectacular, I parred three holes, chipped one in from the rough on 10, and the sun was shining. Nice summer Friday morning. Nothing to complain about. UNLESS YOU’RE A SCRIPTUAL AT EAGLES TRAINING CAMP AND OH MY GOD YOU CAN’T GET IN TO WATCH GROWN MEN RUN THE MOST BASIC AND FUNDAMENTAL FOOTBALL DRILLS YOU WILL EVER SEE. HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY DO YOUR JOB IF FANS GET IN TO SEE PRACTICE BEFORE YOU DO?

Chip Kelly’s first practice was slow to get underway, and that meant media members were stuck LOCKED IN A BUNKER AGAINST THEIR WILL AND WATERBOARDED for about 10-15 minutes before being allowed out onto the practice fields. Did they complain about it? Oh, you bet they sure did. Go:

Yeezus, guys. Newsflash: NO ONE CARE WHAT HAPPENS IN THE FIRST 10 MINUTES OF PRACTICE. As if the world can’t continue to spin on its axis if our Twitter feeds aren’t cluttered with play-by-play from 7-on-7 drills. It’s a marathon, not a sprint, gentlemen. Take it easy.

UPDATE: More complaints. Including a possible rules violation:


And so it begins.


  1. Rhea Hughes' dick

    July 26, 2013 at 1:44 pm


  2. What a bunch of tools. Crazy concept – is it even possible the fans could matter more than the media?? Dafuq?

    Props on those orange pants. Hella baller.

  3. Crucify Wheels

    July 26, 2013 at 2:07 pm

    I like a fuck the media/love the fans approach

  4. Slammin Gretzky's Daughter

    July 26, 2013 at 2:15 pm

    Fans? I thought only the practices at the Linc were open to the fans?

  5. Nice pants, Ricky fowler. How come you’re not down at nova care being locked out? Oh, that’s for media only.

    I have hated your site for years, now, but I keep coming back. Somehow you’re in my lineup of websites to check. I need to reevaluate.

  6. Chip Potato is running the Howie Roseman dog and pony show to a tee. And we are talking about practice… whats for lunch anyway.

  7. Par of 65? Kyle, was that Juniata? Byrnes? Walnut? Do tell. How was the course? Possible setting for the outing?

    I do forget what par each course is exactly around here.

    • NotTheRealGoose

      July 26, 2013 at 2:58 pm

      I would absolutely love destroying Kyle all over a golf course. Set something up for charity Kyle, stop being a b*tch and do it.

  8. Rube’s about to further deplete our farm system for a bullpen lefty and a scrub OF

  9. We talkin’ bout PRACTICE.

  10. Poverty of Truth

    July 26, 2013 at 3:27 pm

    By far the best unconventional thing Chip Kelly has done. Fuck the media and their fat heads

  11. Did you have a matching orange crash helmet? 106…what a joke.

  12. as soon as I read “I golfed.”, I knew you had to shoot 40+ over par. That bush bro, so bush. But Im glad you didn’t say you “golfed a 106″.

  13. Carmen Sandiego

    July 26, 2013 at 3:34 pm

    WOO WOO WOO hold the phone. That is a real bad score and I am sure you kicked her around a little bit and took a couple 5 foot gimmie’s. Whatever that is just water under the bridge…what we really need to be talking about is the tournament. If I comment enough I think… by blog/internet rules you must address the issue. There is a ton of interest…I think you owe it to your readers to at least have a little write up about it. Work is pretty hard over here today at the dick sucking factory, there is nothing that would make me happier than a nice little post about our 1st annual CB golf outting. Happy Friday my babiess. SEE YA AT THE OD

  14. golf. fucking. tournament. yes. ill bring the KY and my stinger tees.

  15. ThePhillyFlash

    July 26, 2013 at 3:45 pm

    106? Damn! I could probably shoot lower than that, and the only golf I play is on my PS3. As for those beat writers, break out some more whine.

  16. Candy from the Oak

    July 26, 2013 at 3:50 pm

    Kyle, any plans this weekend?

  17. Carlos Danger

    July 26, 2013 at 4:08 pm

    Hola Candy!

  18. I hate the media. They are a bunch of freeloading assholes who love to pontificate and seem to think their job is relevant. This is hilarious. The only way it could be better would be if the AC went out and it was 100 degrees out.

    • Walter Cronkite's Middle Finger

      July 26, 2013 at 9:58 pm

      You hate the media? Interesting. Last time I checked, the only way you get ANY info from your teams is by reading/watching their reports. Ms Pad, given your first name I’ll guess this is your last, settle down and eat another Twinkie. The media isn’t anyone’s problem in this town. Although they are known to whine.

  19. The Eagles as an organization really turned me off the last couple of years. But this I love. Yes, members of the Philadelphia sports media, the fans are more important then you so get over it. We buy the tickets, the memorabilia, we pay the salaries, and probably pay for the free buffet you gorge yourself with on Monday’s during the press conference.

    p.s. I didn’t know so many single digit handicappers read this site. Relax guys, he shot 106, the average golfer still shoots around 100.

  20. Wendy Williams

    July 26, 2013 at 6:08 pm

    Stop using the word “scriptual” kyle. you fuking annoy me.

  21. Rueban Franks Big Fucking Gut

    July 27, 2013 at 9:13 am

    If there was a big Buffet during their time of imprisonment you would not of heard a word. What’s for lunch??

  22. The Eagles started the festivities by introducing several players on Alumni Day. Hall of Famer Tommy McDonald, Donovan McNabb, Brian Dawkins, Brian Westbrook and Mike Quick were among the former Eagles in attendance.

    McNabb, who will officially retire as an Eagle on Monday, drew the loudest cheers, slightly edging Dawkins. That was surprising considering Dawkins is one of the most popular athletes to ever play in Philadelphia and fans have always been divided in their feelings toward McNabb.

    ”The reception was great,” McNabb said. ”It was awesome. I enjoyed being back.”

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