Ilya Bryzgalov’s $3.9 Million House is For Sale

Screen Shot 2013-08-15 at 2.13.52 PMIn Soviet Russia, $3.9 million house buys you!

Still feeling bad for Ilya Bryzgalov and the $39 million he will earn from playing two seasons with the Flyers?

Here’s the 8,660 square-foot Haddonfield, New Jersey house he’s selling:

Screen Shot 2013-08-15 at 2.14.20 PM

It has five bedrooms, seven bathrooms, a middle-of-the-room fireplace, pool, humongous big great room, custom wine cellar and Star Wars pillows, which are ostensibly for his son.

The listing:

Wonderful custom built home on a prestigious corner lot in Haddonfield featuring over 8600 total square feet of architectural details and finishes. Stunning features inside and out. Beautifully landscaped with fountains and ponds provide total privacy all year long. This unique home features detailed iron work, cherry flooring, Siberian oak and porcelain slate, beautiful grand windows, solarium, custom doors and artistic lighting. Built on a foundation of decor faced block, the home featuresĀ a beautiful finished basement with custom wine cellar.

It was purchased in October, 2011 for $3.2 million (so, yeah, Bryz might make a profit on his house, too).

Here are some pictures with added callouts:

Screen Shot 2013-08-15 at 1.52.32 PM

Humongous big

Screen Shot 2013-08-15 at 2.02.40 PM

Bryz never used this office

I hate him

I hate him

Most random spot EVER to hang a child’s artwork

Totally unnecessary

Totally unnecessary

Screen Shot 2013-08-15 at 1.59.15 PM

Bryz doesn’t drink

Screen Shot 2013-08-15 at 2.01.18 PM

The unplugged treadmill looks like it got a lot of use

Screen Shot 2013-08-15 at 2.03.01 PM

Nesting dolls. YES! Nesting dolls! And the Kremlin

Screen Shot 2013-08-15 at 2.01.42 PM

A space theme, it is

Screen Shot 2013-08-15 at 2.01.58 PM

Is that the Kremlin above his bed and a tripod in the corner? My God Russian porn is AWESOME

You can see the full gallery here.

H/T to Joe and Brianna


  1. Have the “In Soviet Russia…” jokes EVER landed? Come on dude, just stop.

  2. Paul Mazzochetti

    August 15, 2013 at 2:27 pm

    & he is paying a lousy 2.5% coop commission!! all that ass!

  3. Paul Mazzochetti

    August 15, 2013 at 2:29 pm

    $69K a year in taxes!!!!

  4. Crossing Broad Memes

    August 15, 2013 at 2:37 pm

    Criticizes other writers for nonsense and irrelevant fluff pieces. “Writes” a post solely about a rich guy owning a big house. Hard hitting stuff.

  5. Candy from the Oak

    August 15, 2013 at 2:53 pm

    G should buy it, imagine all the gay sex parties he would have and his Hitler art would look on those walls

  6. Actually dig the house.

  7. I drive by this place all the time cause I live close by – it’s gorgeous but the taxes are crazy. It’s right across the street from Danny B’s place. Pretty sure he’d be the best neighbor ever (the few weeks a year that he’ll actually be around, that is).

  8. HUMONGOUS Property.

    Biggest joke was in the 90s they printed bumper stickers:

    ” London….Paris….Rome…Haddonfield”


  9. Outside = Beautiful.

    Inside = Barf.

    Money can’t buy taste I suppose.


    August 15, 2013 at 3:18 pm

    3.9 million and I still have a drop ceiling in the basement? Pass.

  11. No doubt JD, that place looks really stale inside.

  12. Tough day today kyle….two posts….one about soccer and the other about bryz house being for sale

  13. He bought the house from the CEO of EP Henry, who’s a billionaire and lived directly across the street from Briere.

  14. I want to know if his dogs come along with the property.

  15. Right after I win the Powerball Saturday night, that humongous crib is ALL MINE!!

  16. What a monstrosity! Money does not buy good taste that is for sure.

  17. Ugliest multi-million dollar house I’ve ever seen. What a waste.

  18. This is stupid, irrelevant, childish, and borderline stalkerish. Wouldnt mind senseless stuff like this from this site if you didnt sit on a high horse and judge other media outlets and writers for things that are far less silly and retarded as this.

  19. If im not mistaken This is the SAME EXACT house you said was prongers last year

  20. Wrong, Marc. Pronger lived on Hinchman Ave. about a block from Bryz. Bryz lived on the corner of Hinchman and Loucroft.

  21. Does anyone care about this house, it’s pictures or your horrible Russian impression?? Nyet, Nyet & NYET!!! Not impressive, bozo. Write about a real story.

  22. Jon Kruk's Other Nut

    August 15, 2013 at 10:09 pm

    Wow, that outdoor-facade atrium is the worst thing I’ve ever seen. I hope Bryz bought it that way. I assume that he did – they don’t grow anally inclined interior designers like that in Russia, I don’t think.

  23. Go up to Newport, Rhode Island. Old money real mansions.
    Iron gates 40 feet high. dining rooms the size of high school auditoriums.

    and no, I’m not from “Township” whatever the fuck that means.

  24. Why is there what looks to be like a tripod and camera in the master bedroom? Freak Russians

  25. Puck Duckin Bryz

    August 16, 2013 at 8:27 am

    You should buy this a house! It is very nice! Haddonfield is a far enough away from dirty city of Philadelphia where all the chocolate faces at on the welfare. High five!

    Stalin is good. Very nice!!!

  26. It’s hillarious that on every “haddonfield” related post
    Non-haddonfielders get so worked up. Don’t hate just because j can’t afford to live here.

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