Ruben Amaro Just Made the Most Anti-Climactic Signing of All-Time

Kyle Scott —  December 12, 2013 — 28 Comments
Photo: St. Pete Beach Photo

Photo: St. Pete Beach Photo

ALRIGHT! A MOVE AT THE WINTER MEETINGS! WHO IS IT, RUBE? WHO?! WHO?! A BIG BAT? AN ACE? SOMEONE UNDER THE AGE OF 34?!?!?!?! WHO! WHO!!!!!

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UPDATE: Jim Salisbury reports it’s 33-year-old Roberto Hernandez, formerly Fausto Carmona. He has a career 4.67 ERA. He was 6-13 with the Rays last year with a 4.89 ERA and 1.33 WHIP.

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Kyle Scott

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28 responses to Ruben Amaro Just Made the Most Anti-Climactic Signing of All-Time

  1. Roberto Hwrbdandez does what exactly? The Mets got better, the Marlins got better and we seem to be content as a stagnant third place team.

  2. SWEET SIGNING RUBE!

    He’s finally got the message to get younger! Our average is now 36 instead of 37, and you all thought he didn’t know what he was doing!

  3. On a side note, it looks like Kyle has a nice little crush on this maroney chick……way to aim …low

  4. Anyone have any guesses as to what the Phillies record will be when Rube gets fired this year? Of course, this is based on my hope that the front office has the tiniest of balls remaining and will fire this moron once it is clear that this team sucks on the field just as much as it does on paper.

    My guess, they wait longer than they should (this is already true) and the Phillies are 23-36 when he gets canned.

    Thoughts?

    • Unfortunately I don’t think 23-36 would do it, they could “still make a run” or that’s right in the range of “oh, we’ve had injuries” or “we’ve had bad luck”.

      I think for him to get fired, we would have to be like 10-40 or something putrid.

  5. Ghost of Garrett Reid December 12, 2013 at 11:25 am

    Did that article say this wetback has an alias?

  6. Well, he has had a rough last few years but like the rest of our team we are hoping he can get back to his 2007 form and put together a gawd damn miracle….

  7. #FIRERUBE

    That’s all I’ve got.

    FACE

  8. Nice…this dreck in the 5th slot….Four fucking days of the Meetings and this is the shit RAJ pulls to this point?

    This is sad, seeing all of the talent that could have been had and this is what Pubes has done? Beat it loser!

  9. RAJ has got to go! He is a total joke!

  10. Sources tell me the Philles are working on 4 way trade. Philles, Marlins, Blue Jays, and Red Socks. Phillies would be getting Stanton and Bautista. Phillies would be giving up Papelbaum, Dom Brown, and prospects

    • and would your sources know if santa clause will be dropping them off on christmas eve or christmas day? not a chance dude!

    • Big Ern McCracken December 12, 2013 at 1:14 pm

      Figure a MLB Insider would know that the team is the Red Sox.

      Just a move for depth? Another Carlos Zambrano move? Awesome.

      Rube pulled off another sweet move for Rule 5 Pick Munson (Roy’s long lost brother?). Hope he’s better than Michael Martinez.

    • Koy Detmer’s Neck-Beard December 13, 2013 at 4:49 pm

      “Red Socks”? You’re as bad at spelling as Ruben is at finding talent

  11. “Hernandez was primarily done in by the fact that 20.9 percent of his fly-balls left the park”

    Great fit for our ballpark.

  12. Ruin Tomorrow Jr December 12, 2013 at 1:11 pm

    You guys need to calm down I mean I am a GM in the MLB so I have to know what I’m doing. What do fans know anyway?

  13. Larry from the Regal Beagle December 12, 2013 at 1:38 pm

    68 win team

  14. The reason he wanted to come here is because no one else would overpay for his fat ass ERA and ability to lose meaningful games.

    predicted next signings:

    Matt “ass hammer” Stairs
    Doug Glanville
    Yuniesky Betancourt
    Mark McGwire
    Pedro Martinez
    Omar Daal
    Pete Incaviglia

  15. I love this signing. He’s better than those 3 white guys in the rotation. Hell, he’s better than Ken Griffey Jr. too.

    Why is Chase Utley still on this team?

  16. rubens gay lover December 12, 2013 at 3:56 pm

    He’s good with a bat

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