A Stripper Has Written a Book About Her Time with Michael Vick

Voila_Capture981Oh, fun.

Lots of people have tried to make money off of Michael Vick. His brother, Marcus, is probably the most notable. But now comes Bella Escritor (just me, or does that read Ass Critter to you?) – whose real name is Kiana – who has written a book in which she claims to have been Vick’s longtime lover and that she has pictures of his “bird.”

Jimmy Kempski of Philly.com weeded deep with this one and has obtained a draft of the book. In it:

– Vick’s sexual orientation (she says he’s straight).
– Sex parties at Vick’s home in which Vick and his secret lover would sneak around to other rooms and watch other couples having sex.
– An incident in which she cuddled a puppy, and Vick told her to stop it, because it would make the puppy “soft.” She surmised that the puppy was probably made to be one of the dogfighters.
– Vick’s relationship with a family member she only refers to as “Baby Brother.”

Delicious. The Marcus part sounds great, but consider my interest piqued in the Eyes Wide Shut thing where Vick, who married longtime girlfriend, Kijafa, in 2012, and Kiana watched other couples have sex. I mean, yeah, that sounds like just about every D-I college and professional athlete party ever… but still, I look forward to reading about Vick’s alleged involvement in voyeurism.

It sounds like Kiana is the woman who was trying to sell naked pictures of Vick a few years back. And there’s a lot of skepticism surrounding her book. Kempski spoke with Kiana and received some evidence that she knew Vick – letters and a Valentine’s Day card allegedly sent to her by Vick from prison – but no hard evidence, nor the photographs of Vick that she claims to have. Three publishers refused to publish the book – one because they thought it would open them up to a libel suit – so Kiana self-published and is selling her work at QuarterbackKeeper.com. It is available for $19.99, which means I probably have to business expense that shit even though I give it a 70% chance that I’ll never receive anything in the mail (the cheapest shipping is $9!):



I’ve reached out to Kiana and requested an interview. I’ll let you know if I hear back. In the meantime, Kempski’s piece has more details, the best of which is this nugget about Donovan McNabb (EVERYONE HATES MCNABB!):

On Donovan McNabb:

“The only time I heard him speak on McNabb, it was as if McNabb wasn’t willing to share the field, at his position.”

The book refers to McNabb as “selfish.”

Poor Five.


  1. Number 5 will always love you.

  2. Murray from Mayfair

    January 15, 2014 at 10:18 am

    Vick has been known for years for loving hookers & strippers. Any pics of this whore? Wonder if this stripper is Caucasian

  3. Ware da wyte women at? I no dat trik. She gayv me da klap.

  4. Is the pic with or without herpes?

  5. Wouldn’t shock me if Marcus has a couple of rapes under his belt

  6. What is a Kijafa?


    5 fun facts about Kiana
    1. She has 4 kids named tysean kysean dysean rysean
    2. She has no idea who those kids daddys are
    3. She has been creampied close to 10,000 times
    4. She has never paid taxes
    5. BBC only*

  8. wtf Kyle, pics?

  9. im sure the book will make for a good read being as strippers never lie……
    ‘ohh, did i tell you the lap dance was $20? i meant $40.”

    • That happened to me before at the gold club. I thought I was going to knock her teeth out for scamming me

      • i was in a strip club over the summer and every single stripper that night attempted to lure me into a lap dance by telling me it was their very first night of dancing as if im too feel special being their first dance. c’mon ladies, if youre gonna bullshit, at least you use a line that the girl before you didnt use.

  10. Cmon now strippers can

  11. Cant read or write

  12. Qwality Reedings

    January 15, 2014 at 11:47 am

    So this bitch has the herp

  13. bitch just mad she never got a bun in the oven like Arian Foster’s whore. at least the white girl was smart enough to get pregnant before going to the media to get her money.

  14. bullet point one – she confirmed he was straight

    wow – earth-shattering revelation – I hear in the second book she will confirm that he is black

  15. Wimmen be bitches

  16. Bitches ain’t shit but hoes and tricks.

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