Maybe the weirdest email I’ve received:
Funny scene down on the glass in 116 last night. In the hailstorm of hats raining down on the front rows after Simmond’s third goal, one assclown started hoarding hats under his seat instead of flipping them over the glass like the rest of us. A few minutes later, after he thought he got away with it, suddenly a redhead in an Ogie Ogilthorpe jersey seated nearby administers a verbal beatdown on him. The guy flips her off and yells “Honey I can buy you five times over!”, so she whips out her phone and says “Well now you’ll need to buy Deadspin and Bleacher Report as well [editor’s note: and Crossing Broad?]”. The dude goes ballistic, all “cunty cunt” and whatnot, so she turns to all the fans behind her and yells, “This loser stole a bunch of Simmer’s hats!”. Well now some very large and pissed fans start stepping towards him, so he and his buds start throwing the hats all over while fleeing and a group of dudes in their finest Flyers jerseys literally chase him out of the arena. That’s why there was a little flurry of hats that hit the ice when the Zamboni was out between 2nd and 3rd periods. Lesson: Never mess with a Flyers redhead in an Ogie jersey.
Her photo and my photo attached
You’re not kidding, tipster. When a sentence contains a redhead in an Ogie Ogilthorpe jersey, you know the situation has gone sour. You best run before bitch gets cray cray. But I Respect the Spunk™ for sure. Good looking out, Ogie.
I blurred his face because, eh, I probably would’ve tried to come away with a souvenir, too, if I was in his position.